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Original poster

Meal time incompetence

41 replies

Adventurine · 22/09/2022 18:16

DH has to cook dinner on Thursdays. JUST Thursdays.

So far we've had a handful of bagged salad in a bowl each. That's a starter, he says.

It's quarter past 6 and we normally eat at 5. Everyone is starving, DH says I've no idea how difficult it is to cook for everyone because I "do it without any bother."

I am so annoyed.

OP posts:

Notateacheranymore · 22/09/2022 19:11

I would suggest that you also spend the time doing something that you cannot be taken away from whilst he is in the kitchen and then he will start to really understand the logistical planning required to feed a family.

And remind him that you only became so skilled at meal planning, making and serving through many years of practice.

RagzRebooted · 22/09/2022 19:19

pinkyredrose · 22/09/2022 18:28

I have little patience with men who feign incompetence. If he can read he can follow a recipe.

Yeah, I refuse to help DH with anything that can be googled or worked out with common sense. Same with the DCs. I'll teach then, because that's my job, but if they try to make out they can't remember or can't do something basic, they get sent to google/YouTube/instruction manuals.

DH tried to make out that the Instant Pot was too much for him. Then that it only worked for me and not for him. When I refused to budge and insisted he googled recipes he can now use it to cook a few meals.

mrsm43s · 22/09/2022 19:22

Soubriquet · 22/09/2022 19:10

They normally eat at 5 and he didn’t serve until 7….this is the issue

Show quote history

Right, but he's the cook today, so HE gets to choose what to eat and when to eat (and who on earth eats at 5???) If OP wants a particular meal served in a particular way at a particular time, then she needs to do it herself. Otherwise, rather than mocking her DH online, she should simply thank him for the perfectly nice dinner that he prepared and served at a perfectly reasonable dinner time.

FFS people would be tearing strips of the man who was berating his wife who made a home cooked dinner and served it at a normal dinner time for not having it on the table at his own (unusally early) preferred time.

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General food

CrushedPistachios · 22/09/2022 19:24

Does he work? Does he always want to eat his evening meal at 5pm? Obviously if it works for you as a family then fair enough, but if I were cooking I wouldn’t feel unreasonable serving up at 7pm, particularly if I’d got home from a days work.

Original poster

Adventurine · 23/09/2022 04:53

CrushedPistachios · 22/09/2022 19:24

Yes, he works nights on shift rotation but it's 5 on a Thursday because of sports clubs at 7 and he is here to sort it whether he has work at 7 or not.

OP posts:

Original poster

Adventurine · 23/09/2022 04:56

mrsm43s · 22/09/2022 19:09

What on earth is wrong with homemade Spaghetti Carbonara and salad served up by 7pm. Fairly standard weekday dinner in our house, served at a sensible dinner time.

Not seeing the issue tbh.

It is 5 on a Thursday because of sports clubs and if it had been a night he was working, he wouldn't have had any dinner before he was out of the door.

Not everyone works 9-5, not everyone has children old enough to wait until 7pm for their dinner, not everyone has evenings with nothing to do except dinner. He has Thursdays because it's my later finish at work and there are two 7pm start sports clubs.

OP posts:

Original poster

Adventurine · 23/09/2022 04:57

escapingthecity · 22/09/2022 19:08

In our house the rule is that if you prepared the food you don't do the washing up. I suggest you adopt it too

That's meant to be the rule in ours as well. I find it's only ever understood by DH or the teens if they're the ones that cooked anything

OP posts:

GreenEggsAndBabycham · 23/09/2022 05:14

So did the sports clubs get missed due to the late meal?

BarbaraofSeville · 23/09/2022 05:39

escapingthecity · 22/09/2022 19:08

In our house the rule is that if you prepared the food you don't do the washing up. I suggest you adopt it too

That only works if both parties make the same amount of washing up. If you're a 'clean as you go' type and the other person is a 'uses every pot and pan available even for something like carbonara and bagged salad' you never get a night off dinner duties and still find you're doing the lion's share of the workload. In that case, clean up your own mess is fairer.

OP, definitely strategic incompetence. I bet he doesn't deliberately do a shit job at work to get out of doing things he doesn't want to do?

Fraaahnces · 23/09/2022 05:46

I think your DH should be meal-prepping on the weekend if this is too hard.

Weenurse · 23/09/2022 06:07

Mine did this with washing .
Mixed whites with coloured and ended up grey.
Comment was that I would never let him do the washing again.
My reply was you obviously need more practice, your job from now on.
Roster on our kitchen door as to who cooks when.
Everyone gets a turn and everyone is on the roster for clean up etc. Roster works around sporting commitments. Mum is not the default if you can’t cook on your night, swap with someone.
Looking forward to seeing what next week’s meal is.

Ylvamoon · 23/09/2022 06:23

OP, I have been in your shoes. My DH does the cooking when he's on early shifts (6-2)... and we still have freezer pizza and beans on toast regularly!
Don't complain, just go with the flow. He'll get better, and even if he doesn't, it's his problem not yours. I've had everything from it's to time-consuming to DC don’t eat his food...
I just ignore or sometimes nod and just sigh a "I know..."

pinkyredrose · 23/09/2022 10:33

Stop doing the washing up when you've cooked!

Original poster

Adventurine · 23/09/2022 16:52

GreenEggsAndBabycham · 23/09/2022 05:14

So did the sports clubs get missed due to the late meal?

No, they went with a cereal bar and returned absolutely ravenously hungry and bad tempered. They live for the sport so there's no stopping them going because their dad couldn't get his act together.

OP posts:

Punkypinky · 23/09/2022 16:56

WorkshyHorsefly · 22/09/2022 18:51

It's threads like these that make me feel profoundly grateful I divorced the strategically incompetent bloke I used to be yoked to.

Same!

TheCanyon · 23/09/2022 17:04

My dh went in a right huff over lockdown, imagine having to cook dinner every night and sometimes two or three different things. Soooo difficult. I not so kindly reminded him who has done exactly that for the last 10 years, including preparing special food for him when he was on restricted diets. He doesn't whinge now.

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