Anyone else finding that bed is where they go to worry.....

[DevaleraSpawnOfSatan]

I am fed up with it, I used to be able to slope off to sleep with classic fm and generally just don't give it a name attitude and bingo sleep.

My Mother died in January, we have gone to probate, the house needs clearing out, I feel like I am the buffer between my other siblings, we won't fall out, we don't do that, my DS needs to get his test and stand on his own two feet, we have already bought him a car, I am dreading Christmas but trying to jolly the other inmates in my house along, we will all be in receipt of a decent sum from the house, we are both retired and have a decent FS pensions and some investments, I have on paper nothing to moan about, but I go to bed and my brain goes OOoooh here you are, can I interest madam in the fact that one of her siblings has totally disconnected.....the other talks but is very sad and you who were perceived by your parents as the annoying child appear to be the buffer.

Like I said I am the glue/buffer between two siblings who do get on in normal times, but here I am at 1.30 in the morning downstairs, having taken two sleeping tablets and necking a hot toddy.

Because I want bed to be somewhere I go to sleep, not fret

No laptops in my room, no alarm clocks,so no distractions.

God I probably sound utterly spoilt and I am really not.😢

Oh and in an effort to be healthy I didn't put enough sugar in the Jemmy. 🙄

Same here. Sleep is what happens when I nod off through exhaustion in the middle of the afternoon. My mind is a magic circus all night.

So annoying, years ago, when we were in a less precarious position, house was always a stretch too far(but we have managed it, am I breathing a sigh of relief, oh no, I line 'em up, until they eventually bring night terrors and sweats, (swear to God the first few weeks I thought the menopause had come around for a second go, turns out they are night sweat terrors)

Right ,looks like in the absence of anyone to talk to to, I am off back to bed to allow my mind to churn. 🙄😢Thank you Sladurche...

I understand the reasoning behind no screens in the bedroom but for me they help my thoughts stay inane and focused on the mindless drivel right up until I slip into sleep. Without tv/audiobook/phone/book I stress myself out!

Do you have space in the daytime for mind wandering? It might be that the only time your mind gets you to itself is in bed! Do you ever go for walks leaving your phone behind etc?

Also - what about talk therapy? Might help you square all your sibling stuff up so you ruminate on it less?

Sorry you're having a rough time.

But I agree, I went to bed at 11.30 and woke up at 12.30, been awake since. Got a snoring husband one side and a figiting baby the other.

I'm sitting here thinking how to cut the Christmas budget so we dont have to add into the cc..

My husbands alarm will go off in 10 minutes so I may as well get up for the day.

Sympathy OP it really is a horrible place to be.

Ok have you checked out asmr videos on YouTube? Not joking find what makes you feel soo relaxed. I watched this nail salon one and Omg I was asleep within minutes

The silence and darkness of the night can certainly exaggerate things for me. Add to that, l am not very good at this sleeping business.

This is me completely. I have to get up and watch tv to make it stop.

interesting point about giving the mind time to wander during the day. I wonder if a walk would help.

Also early morning light helps you sleep at night because it kick starts all your sleep hormones for later. (Insert proper science here!)

Maybe an early morning mind-wander walk if you have time for that?

Thank you everyone for listening, I am still the glue/buffer, I guess I always will be, (eldest 'innit) I have yet to make it out of bed, but I am just going to roll with my sadness today, maybe that will help.

I found melatonin really helpful for a while, it's possible to order it from the US.

You can get talk therapy from your GP. It really sounds like it’ll help you sort this stuff out in your own mind. And, after talking it through with someone, it might help you sleep better?

if not the GP route, you can pay for online therapy to make it easy to attend.

I have done talk therapy intermittently in the past, and found it helps. Some therapists I click with better than others!

Don't we all do it?
You are retired. I am retired and the greatest benefit is that on nights like those if I don't sleep it doesn't matter. No work in the morning, tomorrow might be a better night. So if I am sorting out the world at 1am I just go in the spare room, get a drink and read my book.
In the last few years my stresses have ebbed and flowed - breast cancer, death of a parent, worry about DC. I think there is some merit in thoroughly examining a problem but not going round in circles.