Just that really. I could go into all the specifics - Dad's in hospital, everybody's snapping at each other, fighting all the time and stress levels through the roof, having no money - but I'm not pretending any of it is unique to me. Other people have it a lot lot worse.
But I just feel so...miserable. It's like I'm in a well looking up at everyone else living their happy lives while my life is just this grind of unhappiness. My reasons for this range from the very pathetic to the slightly less pathetic so I won't bore you with all of them. But, to use one very very petty example, my sister has a lovely new boyfriend and keeps talking about him/them. And I just want to scream shut up. I feel like this unhappiness is corroding me from the inside and that I'm becoming someone I don't want to be.
I know this is like a whole semaphore for depression but I can't think it is? I'm medicated and usually okay -- but things have just taken a turn lately of being so bleak that it's not a question of them seeming bleak. They ARE bleak and I just feel like I need some actual coping mechanisms not to spiral and get left down here forever.