Long distance grandparent and visiting

[DrDiva]

I have a grandparent visiting dilemma that I thought people here might have experience of, and could offer advice.
My mum lives in NZ and is the sole surviving grandparent of my 10yo DS, who also happens to be her only grandchild. We haven’t seen her for going on 5 years, and I’m thinking of going back next summer for a couple of weeks to see her. It may be the last opportunity.
The complicated bit is that she will be 86, her health isn’t great, and she lives in the middle of nowhere. She also isn’t at all used to young children and doesn’t really know how to be child centred.
So how do you make the visit long enough to be worthwhile without exhausting Grandma, disappointing DS, and remaining sane yourself?!
We have two weeks, and I’m thinking of doing other stuff as well, but I’m assuming we would need to be a week at least with Grandma in order for this to be any kind of visit.
What do other people do in this kind of long distance relationship?

We have family in NZ (DH's sister) and we go for Christmas. Next time our plan is to take the children out of school from 15th December and spend some time in the South Island. We'll fly up to SIL's at the top of North Island on 23/24 December and stay with them until the morning of the 2nd January. We'll probably do some day trips and things with the whole family - my youngest niece has severe SN so try and give SIL some respite and make sure we all have a nice time!

If my mum was 86, on the other side of the world and I hadn't seen her for five years, I'd be spending every possible minute with her, not one week and then doing other stuff!

I'd do a few days of 'kids stuff', then a week with grandma, then finish with a few more days of 'kids stuff'.
That way your DS will have lots to tell grandma about, but also if he's getting bored at grandmas, he'll have stuff to look forward too afterwards.

Are there any AirBnBs within striking distance? If so I'd stay there rather than with her - less tiring for everyone and especially her.

Is "we" just you and DS? If you have a DH to share the logistics then I'd spend some time just with your mum while DH takes DS out on some kid friendly trips.

Not everyone has the same relationship with their mothers.

This is a really disingenuous way of putting the OP down.

Visit for as long as she can manage without getting too tired; but stay separately. This gives both sides space to relax and recover - or time for your 10yo to be bouncy elsewhere. It puts no burden of accommodation onto your mother.

Separate accommodation, and some planned big days out without your Mum, some days out with your Mum, and some days at your Mums.
And maybe something big right at the start and/or end of the trip, just to see a different part of the country.

It's hard work hosting for that amount of time but equally, it's hard work visiting for that length of time..