Best age gap for children

[sageandbasil]

We have a great DD who is almost 10 months. We were going to wait and try and plan the next one to arrive when she was 3 due but we've had a chat and we're thinking of trying sooner so the age gap would be 2 years rather than 3.

People with more than 1 what's your views? Whats the best age gap to have?

For content I'm a SAHM, daughter won't be in nursery until she's 3, grandparents could hopefully look after older child one day a week if they wanted too but not guaranteed, husband works long hours.

aim for 11 to 13 months then take time off work and you will also find that often both will go to the same school/nursery when younger. Changing nappies etc you should be in the swig of things, lol

Once they are off to high school the pressure reduced somewhat

Better still aim for twins, lol

Ours have an agee diff of 12.5 months.

3+ years for me. I would never want 2 in nappies, a toddler at home FT not in nursery whilst looking after a newborn, a double pram wouldn’t fit in my hallway and I want the eldest past the point of constant supervision. I’m sure closer age gaps are lovely as they get older but I know that I just couldn’t handle it through the baby and toddler years.

2.5 years has been good here! But I think 3 would also be good as then eldest would be in some form of childcare.

I think when thinking about age gaps people tend to consider the early years more, but several of my friends who had kids two academic years apart found it very difficult when there were GCSEs and A levels to cope with in the same year and wish the gap was bigger!

2 year gap worked well for us - stayed in the swing of nappies/bottles etc, and now thery are great friends. In terms of activites & holidays too, it also means they're able do the same sort of things, so makes family outings very easy

Mine have a 2 year age gap and it’s perfect. We had a hard year when we had a baby and a 2/3 year old but after that, they could do stuff together and now they’re 10 and 12 they’re thick as thieves and do so much together. It got easy pretty quickly (by at least 2 and 4) and we were out of the baby stage nice and fast. I don’t love the baby stage though and had no desire to prolong that!
I have friends with all sorts of age gaps. 3 years is fine although it takes a little longer for them to be able to do similar things but it’s easier in the 0-4 years I reckon.
It is quite child dependent of course.

Mine have an 18month gap. Its hard work at the beginning with 2 little ones. Things started to get back to normal when the little one was 3.
they are 6 and 8 now and the best of friends. I think with a bigger age gap(3+years) they will have less in common when they are older.
That changes again of course when they are adults. The age gap wont matter then.

Basically theres no perfect age gap. It really depends what you want.

1. A stressful 3 years with 2 very little kids and just get it over with.
2. a bigger gap where you basically start over as soon as the first is a little bit more independent.

We wanted ours to be close in age (2 years max really) and surprisingly fell pregnant when DD was around 10 months. So ours will have a gap of 18 months.
It's going to be chaotic but I like that they'll be close in age

I'm a sahm with three children under 5. My oldest was 2years2 months when my middle child was born and middle child was 3 weeks shy of his second birthday when my third child was born. I've really loved the age gap. My oldest can't remember not having her siblings and they all have a close bond.

My oldest went to nursery 2.5 days a week when she was 3 which gave me 1:1 time with my middle child. She is now just starting reception class at school while her brother is starting two afternoons a week at nursery until his 15 hours start in January.

I grew up as the middle of three children all with two years between us, so this is an age gap that just makes sense for me

20 months. Overall its worked for us. This is the first time we've had them in separate schools for example, bar the two terms between DD1 starting reception and DD2 starting school preschool (they both had gone to a community preschool prior to DD1 starting school). (They are 11 and 9 now!). Only one age group to deal with on holidays, similar hobbies but different groups, companionship for each other (especially during lockdown)
They do have their moments, and with any age gap you have those moments of not being able to split yourself in two so one misses out on something.

My eldest did two mornings at nursery but we had the community nursery which was less than £10 a session, not commercial prices!

We have 2.5 years which I like.

my thought process was that with less than 2 years and you/your body doesn’t have time to recover from the first pregnancy/birth and you end up with 2 very dependent babies at the same time.

From 2 onwards they are more independent every month that goes by (by 2.5 my DC1 was potty trained, out of Highchair and cot, much less reliant on buggy) but yet they will still be close enough in age to enjoy similar activities as they get older.

From 3+ they will be more independent and eldest will be in childcare but it might start to feel like a backward step for you and the age gap will feel wider as they grow.

Also a factor though if you want more than 2.

18 months was a nightmare until the youngest was about 2. It’s been amazing since then and they are such good mates. But ultimately, please remember that you can’t always plan these things.