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How to help a friend in DV

2 replies

TightDiamondShoes · 21/09/2022 06:57

I’ve known my friend about 7 years but we’ve grown close recently. I’ve always thought her husband was a dick - but run-of-the-mill useless idiot.

recently I’ve learned he’s coercive, verbally abusive, financially abusive, mentally abusive etc.

she has 6 siblings she’s no longer in contact with, or her parents - or many friends. He has a few friends she’s allowed to see.

I’ve suffered DV myself and that’s how we met, because I moved a few doors down - so it’s not a closed subject as it were - and when we’ve talked about it she’s told me that her family/GP/HV have all told her to contact WA.

yesterday it felt like a “warning” when she told me the last friend who raised the possibility with her that her husband may be less than perfect - she cut off completely. Friend visited, she went upstairs and husband “dealt” with friend.

I’ve asked her if she thinks it’s “her” people dislike - silent implication being that maybe it’s him… she said “I don’t know”.

I honestly don’t know what to do. To stay silent feels like I’m condoning his behaviour- at the same time she needs friends.

any sensible advice? Sorry, I won’t be able to reply until lunchtime as we’re off out soon and I’ll be biting my tongue the whole way.

OP posts:
Bananalanacake · 21/09/2022 07:30

Does she know she's being abused. Not sure what you mean by her dh "dealt" with the friend who was trying to help.

TightDiamondShoes · 21/09/2022 14:42

I think she does and she doesn’t. Eg “he’s never hit me but…”.

The friend was told to leave and never come back - classic isolation I suppose.

Anyway, she starts a new job tomorrow (which he didn’t want her to do) - so I’m really hoping it will increase her confidence and also give her a little financial wiggle-room.

OP posts:
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