Long term sick leave?

[santorinii]

Has anyone taken long term sick leave - what was your experience like? Was your work supportive?

My mum died and I have a few days off for bereavement leave. I’m not sure if it will be enough. I’m crying on/off all day and am heartbroken, whilst needing to sort her affairs.

I spoke to my manager today to let them know and they’re expecting me back at work next week and weren’t particularly supportive (they were asking the ins and outs of her condition which was weird).

My GP has given me a month long fit note. Aibu to use it? I don’t want this to count against me when applying for jobs and I already know my work will treat me differently when I return. My work is toxic, if you knew the company, you wouldn’t be surprised!

Please take your time off sick and never mind your work legally if you are signed off as unfit for work there’s nothing they can do to pressure you into coming back . I’ve took long term sick leave before after a series of bereavements where my workplace and colleagues expected me just to brush these sad events off . You need the time to grieve and to sort your mothers affairs etc x

Your doctor has given you that note for a reason. Use it.

Grief is a process. It can’t be rushed. You are going to feel up and down for a while. Modern work environments are not supportive of that, particularly if you are already describing them as toxic. Take the time off.

Posted too soon.

I was also off work for 6 weeks after my dad died. It gave me time to pull myself together and resign from a dreadful company. When my mum died, I wasn’t working as I had been caring for her full time. I am so grateful that my DH was so supportive both during my mum’s illness and after her death. He didn’t rush me back to work or anything like that.

Words don’t really help at times like this but I’m sorry for your loss.

Agree with the other posters. From what you describe you are unable to work, it doesn't matter why. Your employer's toxic work environment is their concern, not yours.

Use your sick note. They don't give them out for nothing. Take some time to get to the stage where you can do everyday tasks.

And, when you eventually come to look for another job (which you will, because you don't want to be in a toxic environment) your employer more than likely will give you a standard reference stating title and salary and no one will ask about sick leave, which will anyway be in the past by then. And even if they do ask about it you can tell them your mum died. And if that is not sufficient explanation then they are bastards who you wouldn't want to work for anyway.

Go well OP. Take your time and find your way through this. It's so hard but you will get there.

Take the time off, you need it. Tbh I wouldn't consider 4 weeks as long term sick but that aside your doctor has said you're not fit to work. It won't count against you applying for jobs.

Take your time, grief is a difficult thing & can be hard to deal with

So sorry for your loss op. I lost my dad in March and I took over a month off and even then it wasn't enough. Work will continue o without out you every single one of us are replaceable. It's up to you to look after you and focus on doing what's best for you. Hand in your sick note and use this time to grieve

Have you tried asking for compassionate leave rather than sick leave?

I am off as my dm passed away two weeks ago. Take that sick note and take as much time as you need. Maybe look for a new job too if it’s a toxic environment.

For you op 💐