Previous thread here if I've got the link right (and apologies for the brain dump):
How the hell do I navigate this? Residential home. http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4634659-how-the-hell-do-i-navigate-this-residential-home
So, moving day was today.
I've been dreading it. DM has been in total denial all weekend and wouldn't even entertain the idea of packing on Saturday, so I said we would do it yesterday. There have been lots of tears, with me saying staunchly that it would all be ok and that I really couldn't see any alternative for her at this point (I also found out on Friday that she has been strip-washing for weeks as she's so terrified of falling, even when sitting on a bath board to have a shower 
).
Even yesterday, it was still difficult - I had to get her case out and start going through her clothes and asking did she want this or that. She didn't want to think about ornaments (she loves them) but did say she would like to take a picture of my dad, and her mother's clock.
We still had some to pack today - the only thing she did for herself was a basic toiletry bag. Meanwhile, DM was still saying she didn't want to go, standing around looking lost. In the end I resorted to saying 'let's just do it, shall we?'
So, we got in the car and went. There would have been stony silence if I hadn't been able to keep up a stream of inane chat.
Thank God there were two staff there to meet us, one of whom whisked mum off in a wheelchair while the other person and I got her things.
Mum had clearly had a few tears on the way in, but was chatting by the time I caught her up.
By the time I'd unpacked for her, people had come and gone in a bit of a flurry (including the man who finally brought her oxygen concentrator) and it was teatime. Mum chose a bacon butty and a custard tart, with tea naturally.
Miraculously DM said she was fine and I should go as it would be late when I got home (admittedly I was on my knees as I've only gone back to work recently after being off for months), so I did. She even said for me not to call her later but I insisted.
I hope I've got this right. I'm not expecting her to love it instantly and that there will be tears and regrets (hopefully not from me).
It's taken over six months to encourage her to make a choice, and then a decision, with lots of changes of heart along the way.
I must admit wine has been purchased this evening (after a quick visit to her bungalow to fetch the pyjamas I'd managed to forget!)
Thank you to everyone who helped me not to totally lose it on my last thread, and if you're in this position yourself, the best of luck - it's not easy. 