Is University all about the study now?

[SeriousChild]

I dropped off DS2 at the weekend. The course starts next week, this is welcome week.

I didn't go away to uni but my sister and many of our friends did. Obviously there was work to be done, but it also seemed to be very much about drinking and socialising "University Life"

DS met some flat mates on the first night, but doesn't seem to have seen anyone since. He's been out to explore the city, read some novels and started looking at the recommended reading.

He seems happy enough, but looking forward to getting started on the course.

He has always been a serious boy and happy with his own company, but I'm wondering if this is "normal" now and with the days of student grants and free tuition long gone, young people do take their studies more seriously.

Obviously with my baby away I have loads of time to invent things to worry about 😆

Also, how often would be reasonable to be in touch? I'm trying hard not to message too often and to leave him to get on with it, but I want to know how he is! We spoke this evening because he wanted to talk about some kit he needs and I'm thinking leave him alone until the weekend now. Obviously he knows he can contact me, but I don't suppose he will.

Ha ha- well back in the day I remember getting a letter from my mum saying
“ hello illiterato. This is your mother- remember me??”. Think I hadn’t called for 3 weeks. I was fine- just very busy and having a great time. This is pre mobiles of course but it’s worth thinking about as I do think parents do probably maintain a higher level of contact that’s strictly necessary. I’d proactively message once a week if I hadn’t heard and of course respond to all their messages and calls but I wouldn’t keep messaging if not getting much back.

Re study vs partying, depends on the Uni, the course and the halls. Did he opt for a quieter hall- I know some unis have those and they tend to be occupied by the quieter, more studious people.

I'd message him as often as you want to. He can ignore you if he likes 😀

Has he not gone to any freshers events? They'll be on the SU or Facebook freshers web pages. Has he suggested getting together for drinks/board games with others in his hall corridor? Most want to socialise and there should be plenty of opportunity to do so if he wants.

Oh message a couple of times a week, a weekly phone call/FaceTime chat seems reasonable, but different things work for different families and offspring.

Not from what I'm reading on WIWIKAU.

I dropped my DS off on Saturday too. He's been out to the student's union with his flatmates twice, but I don't think they're as wild as I was when I was a fresher. This is probably a good thing. He seems to be up until the early hours chatting with them in the flat kitchen though, so still socialising.

I've messaged him every day so far, but not with urgent questions that need answering immediately and I haven't worried if it's taken him a couple of hours to reply. He is my second DC to go to university, I remember messaging every day to begin with when DS1 went but after a week or so it eased off to just when I needed to ask something or if I hadn't heard from him for a couple of days.

My dd is doing a masters now and is representing her society at fresher's fair. She got a first and a scholarship for her masters but still was involved with several societies, had a pt job and got drunk regularly! I do think they do more work than I did back in the say though.

One of mine studies and a couple of study related clubs the other parties for Britain

What's WIWIKAU?

What I wish I knew about university - website and Facebook group

I messaged one of mine after about 2 weeks and said "are you dead" because I hadn't heard from them 😂😂😂😂

A lot of universities have scaled back Freshers activities because of the Queen's funeral as they're all afraid of negative publicity.

They are more serious about it generally than we were. Not surprised - they'll pay for it for long enough. Unis take it more seriously and also the whole 'get pissed until you vomit' is quite old fashioned.

I'm glad mine are doing it more sensibly!