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Eloping.. inspiration/advice

4 replies

Breakthemould · 19/09/2022 23:41

Hi, just after some advice/inspiration from you lovelies..

OH and I have been together 7 years, he has 2 sons from his previous marriage (18 and 11) who come at weekends. We also have a son of our own (5). We are finally tying the knot!

He had a huge wedding before but wasn't into the big wedding thing (that was more the ex and her parents' choice). I haven't been married before but I am not fussed about all the fluff that goes with traditional weddings (although I enjoy them and don't judge others its just not for me as I don't really like all the attention), and couldn't justify the expense to be honest. We both want something small and intimate but really special. Our families both have their quirks and tensions so I'd rather not have the stress of all that either. They would all be happy for us so I'm not worried about upsetting anyone.

We would like to elope, and in our ideal picture of the day we'd love our children to be there too. On the flipside, the 18 year old is not at all interested in a wedding or indeed much other than his ps5 and certainly doesn't want to be seen with us in public (lol) and the 11 and 5 year old bicker and wind each other and their brother up constantly. So in 'expectations vs reality' terms, I think it would mean more to me than them for them to be there and in reality they have the potential to make it quite an unforgettable day for all the wrong reasons!!

OH is up for going just the 2 of us and shooting off for a lovely meal and spa afterwards whereas I feel its quite important they're there as I am conscious about including everyone in our little family unit.

We are within an hours drive to London so looking at a nice London registry office for the legal bit and then stuck for what we would do if the kids came... a nice meal might not turn out that nice if the kids aren't on board for it and I don't think the London Eye or the shard would work very well either as I'm not sure they would be interested. It's so tricky finding something we would all like to do. We were going to plan a really special family holiday as our honeymoon so maybe we could go straight off to the airport instead.

We may have a mini reception/party when we get back or just go for meals separately with different groups of family who get along.

Does anyone have experience of eloping with kids in tow? How did you include them/at least get them to behave lol?! Do we just go it alone the two of us for the ceremony and day and take the kids on holiday and to the reception after to make them feel a part of the party? Any suggestions on what to do in London all dressed in wedding gear with kids after the ceremony much appreciated 😊

OP posts:
Forgottenmypasswordagain · 20/09/2022 02:04

Bring the kids! Go someplace really fantastic for dinner with them afterwards. Google fancy restaurants children welcome for ideas.

HighlandPony · 20/09/2022 02:33

What about doing it WHILE you’re all on holiday instead? PlayStation I’m assuming won’t accompany you so there’s that taken care of, older two can help with the youngest since the eldest is an adult anyway, you have a lovely destination wedding in the sun with gorgeous photos and less faff than extended family come with and everyone is included? There’s companies who arrange everything for this.

I did elope but pre kids and I was pissed as a fart for it and wearing stinky farm wellies so no help there I’m afraid

Rutland2022 · 20/09/2022 08:22

We eloped but it was pre-kid, we went to an amazing place in the Lake District and got married in a hotel on the banks of Lake Windermere and had a few days holiday there.
Does it have to be London?

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Breakthemould · 25/09/2022 16:59

Thanks for all the replies everyone! I keep going around in circles thinking about marrying abroad vs eloping in the UK.

I say London because there are some really lovely registry offices there and it is near enough to do in a day easily but also kind of a special day out, and it has some meaning for us as we went on some lovely 1st dates there. Whereas the only place abroad that holds any kind of meaning for us is Dubai and I'm not even sure UK citizens can marry there yet, or if they can I think there is a tonne of paperwork.

Definitely will take the kids though I think. Thanks again for all of the input 👍 🙂

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