Do you work full time with children with SEN?

[Merryoldgoat]

I have two sons both have ASD - 9yo in mainstream and 4yo in a specialist provision.

I currently work 3.5 days officially but it’s sneaking up. I’m finding it a bit tough but I think that’s because mentally I’m still PT and end up surprised I’ve not had any downtime.

I can’t decide if I should jump and go back to full time? Is that mad? I’d like the money (obviously) but I’m worried I’d burn out.

I have a husband who does plenty so I have support.

I just wonder if it’s a mad idea.

My son is 3.5 autistic, I couldn't possibly work full time as he isn't in a childcare setting full time. Even when he is.... I think I'd only every like to work part time as he will still need me more than a typical child.

God no. One of mine has minor brain damage from birth when he was starved of oxygen. He’s not even that bad, he’s social but his struggles are anything communication (reading/writing talking/listening) and I couldn’t. I’d constantly be taking time away for his appointments with speech therapy and OT. He’s in mainstream school but in learning support and I need to meet with them often to discuss his ‘wellness plan’. I’m currently on maternity and contemplating dropping down even less next year. But I don’t have support. His dad works a lot and works away a lot too

I couldn't with mine, but eldest is y3 and hasn't (yet) attended school full time. Even when they eventually do, there isn't suitable before/after school care available so I wouldn't be able to. If those things weren't an issue then possibly I would. Could you speak to your boss and agree to trial full time for a trial period? If you are feeling like it is too much already though I'd be cautious.

Mines 12 and I went full time this year but with the 5th day working from home. I’m finding it quite hard and I have zero time for getting anything done round house

Yes but I work from home and have a fairly flexible schedule (lawyer). If I don't get things done during the day, I can usually keep working late into the night. My husband usually goes into the office but also can work from home. We're both senior with significant control over our schedules. We also live very close to our son's school so can be there in 10 minutes for emergencies. He currently attends mainstream part-time so we're dropping off at 9.30am and collecting again at 1.15pm - would be impossible with a lot of jobs so we are very lucky. Even so, we have two other children (both NT) and when there is a crisis with our autistic son, it's all very stressful. I often wonder if family life would be happier if one of us worked part-time/ not at all.

I would add that me and dh have managed to (by chance) get outs jobs perfectly aligned so one can do drop off and one pick up. If we had to reply on any sort of childcare it wouldn’t be an option. Also think about the holidays, as there are much less childcare options for Sen children especially if they can’t attend a mainstream holiday club (mine can’t). We struggle in the hols but manage through a mix of taking annual leave at diff times, and luckily my mum had him about 2 days a week but anymore is now too much for her

I did for 15 years but then it all got hard because nobody wanted to babysit a young man with challenging behaviour 🤷‍♀️
I had to give up work and honestly it's soul destroying not using my brain daily or socialising daily 😩

Yes, I work full time and have 3 children, my elder two both have autism and ADHD. It’s been very hard at times but I’m so happy I have stuck with it. I’m not in a revenue role but it’s highly paid, specialist work in a highly regulated field. What I earn more than pays for what I need to raise my children and I am thankful my career had enabled the failure of my marriage to have a minimal material impact to the children. I’ve worked for the most amazing leader who has fully supported my career. It makes a huge difference having that support.

You need a full time nanny regardless of working part or full time. Shouldn’t you get some sort of DLA for each child? That can be spent on supporting the child including respite for you, activities for the children etc.

This is what me and my DP do and only since he's started school full time before that it was impossible as no reliable childcare but my mum has him 1 day a week for now but I can see it's getting harder for her to have him.

I only work 3 days a week with a severely autistic child. My DH works long hours and provides limited childcare support. I find 3 days provides a good balance as I get a bit of downtime on the days I don't work. My son sleeps very poorly too and I find I need a bit of time to catch up as well as do the myriad of other jobs in the home and look after my other son. FT would be a struggle in the holidays, we use grandparents and annual leave and it would be hard to cover 5 days a week.

Although we have the financial means to pay for support unfortunately it is just not available. Even at £20 per hour finding someone willing to support an autistic child is pretty impossible. We have been on a waiting list for paid respite for over 2 years.

I worked for the same company for 26 years , I work 10 till 3 Tuesday to Friday some time I do extra hours till 4 or work the Monday but only 10 till 2 term time contact from when my son went to school at 5 he did nursery 7.30 till 6 Mon to Friday before that . Some hours I'd make up extra or have holiday or unpaid as no child care he use to go after school club in mainstream. Soon as he went to silc school the no child care. I've no one to relay on he had to shield for 2 years as he got lung heart disease eplispy asd adhd learning at 6 he 14 .he run off He deaf .

I can't find a child minder as he 14 and runs so the say for safety it's a no but school don't have child care . And I was told that UC won't pay for a nanny as that be the only way for me to go back to work .

When COVID hit I had to sheild the company ask me to work weekends and made it hard for me to go back after shielding, I felt I had no where to turn the push me in to volunteer redundancy. I just had no choice as the was saying the new contract was weekend and no term time. Basically a lie to make me leave .

Now I'm on carers I hate not working but I'm dyslexic and I struggle working in schools and I try working in a call centre and I just got stressed as the couldn't give me time off in school holidays and if your a sen parent you no the never going to be quite when your taking a call.

I feel lost I've done courses but I just find it so hard now I'm 40 and no support for me and my son.

Can anyone help 😭

Other sen single parent who are my friends, seem to get there parent to help , friends to help sister to help and work in a school cleaning after school. I just feel very trapped . I get respite I had one day in April hols witch I pay for but I'm literally on my own as people are working or have there kids or I've paid for him to go and I can't afford to do owt .

I have an autistic adult child and I never worked much while he was in school. He was in school part time for quite a while, and I had to time to work, then in special school where he was full time but there was no suitable holiday childcare once he was secondary aged. I suppose if you're well paid enough you can get a soecialist nanny, but there was no mainstream provisionaround here, and the SN provision was never suitable as he seemed too able to fit in.

I could have worked term time but to be honest I wanted to prioritise school hours for my own interests and wellbeing, rather than being stuck at work during the only child-free time I had. I quite enjoyed having the free time. I was on carers but topped up with other benefits so financially I didn't need to work.

I work three days, term time only as a teacher. It’s useful being able to do the school run a couple of times a week to catch up briefly with his teacher, and to have two days where I can attend meetings / send emails / do any admin.

If I had a neurotypical child I’d almost certainly have left teaching for a full time working from home job doing something else by now, but holiday clubs wouldn’t be appropriate so I’m sticking it out with teaching - having a bit of peace and quiet on my days off also helps me feel better about that!