Husband thinks he may be becoming depressed - how can I help?

[ButtercupBluebells]

Over the last few weeks DH has been less and less interested in the things he used to enjoy. He'd previously stay up until around midnight doing these - learning a language, reading and playing computer games. But recently he's been going to bed around 9, even though he isn't really tired. He said he has just lost all motivation to do these things. I can't even get him to watch TV with me, he says he just wants to "do nothing".

Our marriage is good and happy, and he says he has no concerns about that. We've got two pre-school aged DC who are very hard work but also a lot of fun. He enjoys his job and gets along well with his colleagues. He can't pinpoint why he's feeling "empty" at the moment. How can I help him get his spark for life back?

Maybe you should take some time out just you two to go for a walk and talk through what is going on and how you can support him through it. I think a lot of problems come down to a lack of communication. It's important to get away from your home, and somewhere he can just properly unload without children distractions.

First port of call for this sort of thing is getting routine exercise, good sleep hygiene (including not oversleeping), and talking through what’s on your mind with a couple of trusted friends or family members. Everyone gets into a funk sometimes, and preschooler years are a major culprit (kids that age are wonderful, but relentless and all consuming). Worth also setting up time with the GP as a precaution though. They’re best placed to decide where this falls on the depression scale.

Ultimately, therapy and/or medication can be a (literal) life saver. I’d recommend researching options now, hoping that things won’t get that bad, but knowing that you’re equipped to deal with whatever comes next.

Counselling

exercise is a game changer

I woukd recommend getting in touch with your gp for counselling/advice. Don't leave it till it's at the point where he can't get out of bed. There is help available. As forbu helping him,u can't necessarily advise but u can listen. I say this from.experience, please don't let this consume u. Take care

Fresh air and exercise.

Also vitamin D tablets. They can make a huge difference.

Get him gym membership or start exercising together. Made a phenomenal difference to me, just doing daily walks and getting faster and fitter.

Yes to exercise, cut down on the booze, adopt a vaguely sensible diet, get your 8 hours sleep. It's great he has constructive hobbies like learning a language, maybe take up something that has a social outlet as well?? I went through a phase similar to your DH and adopting the above really helped. It's good that he has the confidence to talk to you about this rather then bottle it up. I also found that putting a bit of distance between myself and some truly miserable characters in my life who were like dementors sucking the joy out of everything was massively helpful.

It's a really positive thing that he has talked to you. Next thing he needs to do is go and see a doctor or arrange private counselling if you can afford it.

Like others have said try and do something together without the DCs. Exercise and eating well really help to. Have you got some nice scenic walks nearby?

Yes, vit D, I noticed it helps me when feeling down.
Also, outdoors, see if u can find new walks in the area, even if as a family, to spark some new interest.