Any answer to this pet dilemma?

[lugeforlife]

Dd1 is almost 13 and desperate for a pet. Dd2 would also like one but not as strongly. I feel the same as dd2.

Dh is totally anti. Any suggestions get shot down with practical reasons why not.

Dog (which is what dd really wants) - he'd end up doing the looking after plus they shed. This is fair tbh.

Cat - my dm is allergic

Rabbit/Guinea pig - they'd get bored.

Hamster/dwarf hamster/rat would have to live on her room and would smell and keep her awake.

Tropical fish - tank would be too heavy to go in her room if we got the right sized one

Literally every option is dismissed. I feel so sorry for her. He does have a point with all of this and ironically he grew up with all kinds of animals but he's not trying to help her find a solution. He's a rigid thinker and I feel somewhat caught in the middle here.

Can anyone think of a middle ground? She was googling sea monkeys yesterday bless her.,.,,

I wish some hamster had sent ours that memo! She was gorgeous, lived to be out with us & play or cuddle, but in her cage just wee'd every where!!

miss her, but don't miss the cleaning out!!

@lugeforlife I think domestic rats need rebranding!! They really are great pets, cuddly, funny, engaging. But the name puts people off. Ours had run of the house, we only used to shut his door at night do we knew he was safe & not chewing wires or anything! In the day you had to check under sofa cushions before sitting down as he liked to snuggle in behind the cushions!! He liked sitting in my shoulder to 'watch' tv, have s cuddle or supervise housework 🤣

I know you said DH is a definitely NO to a dog, but can you talk to him about fostering one?

my opinion is, when a child wants 'a pet' they want something to cuddle/bond with and getting fish/ghecko/birds doesn't work unless that's something they specifically want.

What about stick insects or hissing cockroaches very easy to keep and basically free to keep

Just to bear in mind rabbits and Guinea pigs can easily live to 6-8, cats to 20+, dogs to 15 and our geckos made it to around 10 which is apparently young but they were all rescueds so not 100% certain of their ages.

I am in favour of kids having pets to live with and care for, and we grew up with lots of animals, but at 13 your daughter could move out in 4 or 5 years to uni and leave you with a pet they can't take with them and which could live another 5-15 years. Something to bear in mind if it's not going to be a family pet.

I second a pony.

Great pets, it wont live in your house so no mess or moulting to worry about, your DD is very unlikely to grow tired of it and it is relatively easy to find someone else to do the day-to-day care. Best pet ever.

The only downside is setting yourself up for a lifetime of expense and bankruptcy!

Have you considered becoming a puppy raiser or boarder [older dogs staying evenings & weekends] for Guide Dogs? There is no financial outlay as they pay for vets/food etc. It is sad when they leave to go onto further training however understanding this will provide good life skills.

www.guidedogs.org.uk/how-you-can-help/volunteering-for-guide-dogs/

Cats if you look at hypoallergenic. They are not completely but I hear some breeds are better for allergies. DH is not normally a cat person but he adores ours. They are low maintenance too. I would suggest though if you end up getting a kitten, get two. They will provide company for each other. Best decision I've made. I've had cats my entire life over 30 years.

guinea pigs are absolutely lovely. I have 5 and I keep them indoors although you can keep outside too. they can get very tame, can be trained, and ultimately can make friendly entertaining pets. look up Ace the guinea pig ☺️

If you foster an animal there’s no guarantee on how long they’ll be with you for. My boy was originally just going to be with me for a month, but his prospective adopters changed their minds & it’s been 3 months now. (Which I’m delighted about, by the way).

And if rescues are sometimes reluctant to let families with kids adopt pets, I’d have thought that would go double for fostering where they’re even less likely to know much about the animals’ personalities yet.

Plus getting a cat because a child wants a pet they can bond with is a risky strategy. If the cat agrees, great, but what if it has other ideas?

Quite a lot of people are allergic to both cats and guinea pigs. Again, for some reason the longer-haired ones are less of a problem than shorthaired.

And your DH is not wrong about a dog. They entail a lifestyle change that not everyone wants, and even teenagers who have begged for years will decide they have something more interesting to do than dogwalk in the sleet.

Thank you for all these responses.

Still hard no to the spiders
lol to the pony/sheep.

They did some research on rats yesterday. They have found a potential place in the living room for the cage which they measured up. They are putting together a case to present to dh and this will involve binning some of their old stuff to make room.

So let's see how it goes.