Tell me how to LOVE dogs

[OrangeFlowersAreLovely]

I just want to find ONE. Just one who completely captivates my heart. I'm not totally but almost facing a future alone. I am single and I don't want children. I am so, so intolerant and impatient. I'm squeamish. Also... most adults I have loved have let me down so spectacularly. So why can't I love dogs? IF by some miracle I changed my mind I'd want one quite big, like a lab or a huskie. I don't want to treat him / her like something to lean on like a Plan B. I know it would deserve better than that... but I'm a massive walker. Like 10 miles per day. It almost feels wrong that I don't like dogs. But if I could just find that ONE.. I sometimes thing fuck it just get one and learn. Why do people love dogs so much and WHY can't I just get it? For the record. I'm a good person. I would not treat a dog like a toy, I know it would be a life long commitment ❤️

Just…. Look into their eyes!

I would get to know a friends/ family dog. Take it on walks ( which generally guarantees their love. Then, when they get to the stage where they love you, just look into their eyes.
If that doesn’t do it, then honestly- get a cat. Or several

You beat me to it. It is just impossible not to love them and whilst friendly to others they really want to bond with only you. If you love walking so much OP you'll be able to match their energy, although it would need to be places where they can run and use their noses.

If you're squeamish, don't get a dog. You'll be dealing with dog shit several times a day. Sometimes it is runny or mushy and you'll have to scrape it up.
Then you'll have days of having to scrape fox shit out of his fur.
Or worms out of his butthole.
Maggots in his ears.

Learn to love yourself.

I think dogs are like kids - the idea of them is great but the reality is they’re arseholes a lot of the time. Thing is, he’s my arsehole and I do love him so 😊

I am so, so intolerant and impatient. Also... most adults I have loved have let me down so spectacularly

Have you ever wondered whether these are connected? It's never too late to have some therapy to create a better you. It might be a better way to use the money than buying a dog. You need tolerance and patience with a dog, just as with small children. But the love you get in return is immense.

@SirChenjins I think I say pretty much that to one of mine every single day. 🤣

If you have to ask how to love a dog you don't deserve to have one 🤨
Dogs love completely and unconditionally and deserve the same in return.

I love my dog more than my kids. She's always happy to see me; love her waggy tail.

When she walks next to me she looks up at me and all I can see in her eyes is love. Okay, she's probably thinking, 'mum, I've walked nicely next to you for ages, when am I getting some of that ham in your pocket?' But, anyway.

To be fair, I will never get another dog again. She was hard work when she was a puppy. I had to take her outside in the pouring rain every 20 mins, till she learned where to go. I couldn't leave her alone, at all, for 3 months. She hated the car and I had to gradually desensitise her to it, which took more time and patience than I ever could have imagined. It took her what felt like forever to learn how to walk on the lead nicely! Honestly, couldn't take her on the school but couldn't leave her at home either. I had the dog version of baby blues for a month after getting her.

Got through it all. And I adore her. She makes me laugh multiple times a day. I say 'aww baby' when she is being cute, way more than what I did when my actual human babies were being cute, and that was a lot.

I feel so guilty leaving her (with people she loves and they look after her very well) because I can't explain that I'm coming back, and it breaks my heart to think that she might think she's been abandoned.

If I was you, I would volunteer at a dog rescue.

🤣🤣

Im not sure that’s quite true @Germolenequeen - mine definitely loves me more when I’m dishing out the treats or sneaking him a sausage or 3.

Dogs will always be sick at 2AM on the fluffiest cleanest bit of carpet/rug they can find. Even if they were locked up in a room with fully tiled floor and 7 locks on the door.
They often dribble.
Dog sick on a carpet is a nightmare to clean. The smell is really not pleasant.
Just a couple of things that don't go with being squeamish.
Some dogs eat all sorts of very disgusting things on walks.
All dogs stink at some point.
As a dog owner, it will be impossible to avoid other dogs. When a dribbling dog shakes ... it flies everywhere within 3meters.
I think issues like this might be the bigger problem for you.

Otherwise I know plenty of people who didn't want / liked dogs but are the most devoted dog owners now after the family got a dog.

You have to remember that not all dogs can do or would enjoy the length of walking you do. I'm a big walker and the sweet spot will be a dog between 1.5 or 2 years old until about 8 or 10, depending on breed and size. Not all dogs want or can do 10 miles, just bear that in mind. And if you do get a puppy, you can't leave it while you go on these long walks every week.

There's a lot more to dogs than going on walks... And not all dogs will want to walk 10 miles a day.

You say you're a commitment phobe and have a demanding job.

Dogs are a huge commitment. I don't have one but multiple family members do, and I have seen firsthand how much they impact a person's lifestyle. They're great companions, but you basically have a dependent that you need to consider at all times (not dissimilar to a child).

I don't think you've entirely thought this through.

@OrangeFlowersAreLovely

im sorry life has been so hard on you! Ignore the horrible posts, some people just come on MN to stick the boot in. Don't take it personally!!

I agree that you could perhaps start off by borrowing a/some for walks/owners holidays. It's not the same as having your own of course, but less damaging to a dog if you do decide it's really not for you!!

I LOVE dogs. I haven't been able to have one for a while now & have been wanting to get one. HOWEVER, recently my friend has needed a lot of help with her (very gorgeous) Labrador, I adore him, but by god he's hard work & the HAIR!! I could make a felted puppy out of it. He's made me wonder if I do really want another one of my own or not. Jury's out. I DO, but I also like having a house that's not covered in hair, paw prints & water/biscuit crumbs...

IF you do decide to get a dog and want to minimise the hair everywhere, do your homework, don't just assume a tidy looking dog, like a lab, will make less mess than say a spaniel. also look at getting a young dog, rather than a puppy, if you take your time you'll be able to get one that's only in a revue because it's owner has died or become physically unable to look after them (or possibly soon, sadly, thise that have had to be given up due to cost if living or owners unable to find a rental with a dog. Things that aren't the dog being difficult in some way.

But yeah, a little companion to come walking in the day & snuggle on the sofa at night...still tempting, but it would have to be a spaniel for me 🐶 ❤️

Our wonderful, yet pain in the arse, Parson Terrier was put to sleep aged 15 in 2020. It took so long for us to get over but we had decided to enjoy a bit of time away from the commitment, (dog hair and destruction). We joined Borrow My Doggy and have an adorable Cockerpoo visiting on Thursdays and used to look after a wonderful Labradoodle too. Perhaps this might work for you ?

OP my kids REALLY wanted a dog. I could take it or leave it. We got one. The first few months involved masses of clearing up mess, furniture being destroyed and not being able to go out. Oh and sleepless nights. All the while the dog was cute but I didn't love it. Then suddenly BAM. I don't know where it came from but I am so attached to him. He's literally the best (actually he's rather flawed: anxious and needy. But boy do I love him and all his imperfections). I think it just happens. This morning I came downstairs and he didn't hear me coming. Suddenly he must have been aware that I was in the kitchen and he came screeching around the corner just full of excitement to say hello and I thought how lucky we are to have him. I don't love dogs. But rather like children, I love my own more than anything.

All your posts say to me is that you absolutely, 100% should not get a dog.

You say don't even like dogs, have a demanding job and you're intolerant and squeamish - so I really don't understand why would you even consider dog ownership?

They're a massive commitment - both in terms of time and money. Walking is only a tiny part of it - how will you train it if you're at work all day? What about when it's a puppy and can't go for long walks or be left for long periods - will your dad really want to do full-time care for a jumpy, bitey puppy that pees and poos everywhere?

Can you afford insurance, a walker if needed, holiday care, vaccinations, flea/worm treatment, equipment, toys, chews, beds etc?

You say you're squeamish - so how will you cope picking up poo and cleaning up accidents on your bed or sofa or floors? What about it when it wakes you up vomiting on your carpets at 3am or you need to pull grass out of its' bum on a walk cause it's stuck?

Please don't get a dog. It wouldn't be fair.

A big Yes to this. Springers are such loving, affectionate dogs IME. And you grow to love them. They love you so much, you just can't help loving them back.

The best cure for not liking dogs is to get a dog!
I've always hated dogs, didn't get the appeal of them at all, and the thought of picking up a warm poo and then carrying it around in a bag made me want to heave. But DD1 begged and begged for a dog for about 6 years, and DH wore me down so I said if he got a puppy then I wanted nothing to do with it. First few weeks were hard going with house training, but he is so wonderful I now love him more than anyone else in the house. He's just lovely to cuddle, he's on my chest as I lie in bed right now. I'd never be without a dog again. And I don't mind the poo, or when he smells a bit 😊

"And you grow to love them. They love you so much, you just can't help loving them back."

This is the absolute truth!

I was always a cat person. Never interested in dogs.
But DS2 (adult but with autism) really really wanted a dog.
In the end I gave in.
We researched breeds , went to Discover Dogs, found a breed we'd never even heard of... went on a waiting list.

I was prepared to do the work.. toilet train, train, get up in the night in the early days, but wasn't expecting to feel much.

That day we picked her up, and I sat in the back of the car , her in a soft crate, taking her away from everything she knew at 9 weeks old, that fuzzy little creature...
By the time we got home from our long journey I was in love. The first couple of weeks of broken nights were hard, the standing in the garden every 30 mins to toilet train her were grim...

But 3.5 years on NO ONE loves me like she does. Dogs love unconditionally. She lights up when any one of us walks in the house. She cries with happiness if I walk in from an hour long absense. I love her.

BUT... it's a huge committment. Everything we do has to take her needs incto consideration. Out in all weathers. Out when I feel like crap. Holidays take planning ..can we take her, if not, can we bear to leave her with family?

You cannot be selfish when you have a dog. They love you unconditionally and you have to give that back.

PS not a Husky I have a Eurasier.. (google them... similar but prettier) and dear GOD the hair....

Maybe you could look into more cat like dogs. I have a whippet and I call him my big, skinny cat. He even grooms himself!

I use to feel like when ppl loved their dogs so much it was like their life ,child etc I just didn’t get it at all . Then me and dh decided to get a dog and he was a 5 month old pug and I absolutely love him so much . I didn’t know it was possible he is my family member and I couldn’t imagine life without him. . You have had some great advice about volunteering etc maybe volunteer to walk someone’s dog a couple of times a week . Do lots of research which dog you feel is for you before you make that commitment

Will look at dog walking charities. Thanks all x

I don't think a dog will be right for you, as they are very tying, more so than children really. They are so romanticised but actually a lot of them are annoying.

The dog walking charities look a good idea. And see a counsellor about the other stuff!

Loving dogs comes naturally it's not something you have to work on