60th birthday party with grandchildren - what time?

[Puppers]

I'm organising my mum's 60th birthday party at the start of November. The plan is to have it at my house and invite all my siblings, aunties and uncles, cousins, her close friends and the grandchildren who are all under 8. It will be about 30 altogether.

Usually our family get togethers are pretty tame. It's BBQs or cups of tea and cake and chatter and it's usually an afternoon thing. But that's largely because most birthdays are in the summer so we're in the garden. I'd like to make this birthday feel like more of an occasion - maybe get a caterer, lots of champagne, music, dancing. I might even see if I can get a local performer (weighing it up currently - have found a guitarist/singer).

My question is, what time would you start this party? I'd like it to be more of an evening thing but I know my mum will definitely want the grandkids there (and mine will obviously be there anyway as it's in our house). 7pm?

I'm overthinking but my mum has had a shit time this year and she does a lot for us so I want to make is special.

3 or 4pm if you want all the kids to come and some are still napping

a bunch of under 8s are likely to get pretty annoying fairly quickly after 7pm. Will they be staying over?

Could you start with birthday cake and high tea at at 5pm, then get them to bed for some more adult food later on??

What ages?

It'll depend on the family, but my 3 year old and 1 year old wouldn't make it to a 7pm party.

7pm is their bedtime, I could try to push it out until maybe 8-8.30pm. But by the time I'd factored in travel home and getting them in bed it just wouldn't be worth them going

We have a pretty tight routine and a toddler that doesn't nap and then looses her s**t coke 7pm.

Not quite the same but for my mum's 70th we had afternoon tea and champagne in the garden (with a marquee although the weather turned out really nicely). Small children there too.

I think it will need to be earlier than 7pm if you want kids to come. Mine are under 8 and they can't really do past 8pm maximum.

My 5yr old would be falling asleep by 8.30pm- could they have a bedroom to crash in?

I have thought about inviting them to stay over (haven't worked up to telling DH yet 😅) but one of my brothers is a bit of a CF and will definitely read that as an offer to babysit all weekend.

Also thought about starting earlier, but I'm worried that will just set the tone for one of our usual tea and cake parties.

I think the older kids (6 and 7) will probably stay up fairly late as it’s a one off. The others are either tiny babies (one I think probably won’t come, the other will come and just sleep in the sling I reckon) or toddlers who might make it to 8pm. I guess I could offer the use of a bedroom to put them to sleep if their parents want. Or yes, maybe offer them to stay over on the condition that parents stay too so I’m not left babysitting everyone’s kids.

My 6 year old stayed awake until 11ish at a wedding. And she’d had an early start.

If the oldest is 7 I'd definitely make it earlier or folk with just get babysitters and she wants the kids there.

Afternoon tea party (inc champagne) would suit all ages.. it can still go on until the evening but younger kids can go home to bed

Having a chef come in and live music will definitely make it a special occasion, the time is irrelevant.

If the party is on a weekend night then I don’t see the problem in tired youngsters being put to bed if necessary then carried out to the car later to go home. I did that a few times for important family parties with my three children, yes, they were a bit tired and grumpy the next day but soon got over it. They loved being with older cousins, eating party food, dancing etc and the family enjoyed seeing them play.

Routines are fine but should not mean everything is set in stone.

Our children had fab routines but we'd definitely adapt to make this work.

Nap in the afternoon and then if they needed to go to bed then they could sleep upstairs and we'd carry them to the car at home time.

Never understand the inflexibility some parents have, must make for a miserable life.

In November it gets dark much earlier, don’t forget, so you could have everyone arriving 4pm ish and greet them with champagne, fancy savoury nibbles etc to set the tone. Then maybe the performer after that and then a lovely catered spread arriving later? The kids may be starving 5-6pm at that age though so I’d just ensure a load of food they can get to earlier so that maybe when you’re having more grown up food later (it can be the same stuff but later on at more adult time?) they can be vegging out with a film or joining you at the tables, depending on what they want to do. Ours would usually reappear for pudding at that sort of gathering, having spent the afternoon/evening roaming in a pleasantly feral way around the house with their cousins.

Ours would usually reappear for pudding at that sort of gathering, having spent the afternoon/evening roaming in a pleasantly feral way around the house with their cousins.

I think this is what I’m envisioning and I have lovely memories of doing the same at NYE parties and similar as a young child. “Pleasantly feral” - I like that!

My siblings are pretty laid back. I think it will be the cousins who are more likely to want to stick to their routines (which I totally understand - there have been phases when my kids wouldn’t have coped well with a late night and I’d have been paying for it for days).

I'd say maybe 4.30/5 onwards. Also reading this thread made me very glad that my kids never had a strict routine 😂 we've always had fantastic family parties that have gone on until the early hours with the kids having the time of their lives!