Is this a really stupid thing to do?

[Hmmwhatsp]

I’m a few weeks from completion on a house that is an hour and a half from where I am now. It’s back near family for the main reason that I need support with baby, my ex is not around.

I know for sure that I don’t want to stay in this place where the new house is. The house is fab, but I lived in the area years and years ago and much prefer where I am now.

But I can’t deny I need some help. And the current house I am in is small and the whole living room is filled with baby stuff as there’s no room upstairs etc.

My plan is to move, stay for three years until I’m 37, then move back. Is this stupid? Reckless? Waste of money/stamp duty?

Anyone? :)

Could you rent your place out and then rent somewhere for 3 years?

Could you access support where you are now? Making friends at baby groups for now etc?
It's hard to predict how the housing market will go but personally I think I would try to gather support in the current area
I know it doesn't feel like it now, but 3 years is a short time looking at the future
Not an easy decision but make a list of all the pros and cons for now

It’s more the current house is so small and I have no support here. I think my mum would help with pick ups etc from nursery for instance which I just wouldn’t have here.

I also wouldn’t get this mortgage rate again so want to secure it.

it feels so reckless though. 16k stamp duty for three year move

Have you actually discussed what help your mum is prepared to give you?

@FizzyFucker its partly help but partly needing a bigger house snd if I don’t complete on this one then I lose the rate. So conflicted.

Obviously I dont know your specifics but I know people who have made short term mives before when children are little and then up stuck for various reasons - being priced out of their desired area, eldest dc being school age and not wanting to change schools etc

I think if you can make it work where you are then do that. The baby stage where they take up so much space is relatively short lived in the scheme of things

You need to do what you need to do. Take care of your baby the best way you can right now.

There is a risk the property market works against you and it's harder to move back, but if that happens down the line, deal with it then. I can't tell you what the long term outcomes will be, but I think you sound very sensible, and I think you should trust your own judgment.

I really don’t want to be negative, but do you think things will be very different in 3 years? Obviously babies are harder than children in lots of ways but managing school pickups and the holidays is a big logistical challenge on your own, you might find that you still need family around you.

I mostly say this because if you do move, I think it’ll be harder to feel settled if you’re always thinking “oh I’ll be gone in 3 years”

As a lone parent to a 7yr old, trust me...It doesn't just miraculously get easier! More a case of other aspects of them (your child) become difficult.

I think you need to discuss this with your mum/family as you're planning to move based on the assumption that you'll get family help. I have a friend who made a major move to be close to her family when her baby was young. She was shocked that her parents didn't really help out at all apart from occasional family meals and it led to a lot of ill feeling. Don't make a decision because you're feeling panicky, weigh up all the options where you are living now!

You don't know that you will move again in 3 years. Life changes.

Just sounds like usual cold feet about making a big decision, rather than there being any legitimate reason to pull out now

Could you rent your current house out and rent for three years near family. X

I wouldn't unless you are prepared to stay in new house much longer - unlike renting, you can't plan your house moves to you own calendar unless you can afford to buy without selling.

And the costs of buying, selling and moving ... you could probably afford a lot of childcare from what you will spend on the moves.

Why don't you just go with the move for now, as there seems to be lots of positives: close to family, bigger house, fixed rate, and then just be open minded about what will happen in 3 years. Maybe you'll be desperate to move back to where you are now, or maybe you'll see the new (old?) area in a different light with a child. Maybe you'll want to stay close to family. You may make great friends in the next 3 years and feel that the community you have there is worth more than moving back to the 'better' area. Maybe you'll be in a new relationship.

3 years could bring so many changes to your priorities, do what works for you now, then see what will work for you in 3 years time.

I would go for it OP. We are in a similar sort of position and lots of decisions to make, while tried from a young baby, stressed etc. I think all you can do is make the best decision for in the moment, and that’s clearly moving to a bigger house near a support network. You can then decide in a few years what the best decision for then is. I’m sure it will all work out ok.

In 3 years time the area you are moving to may also have come up.

If you really really need the help then move, but as a single parent of one do you really need extra room? The baby stuff will go soon and you’ll have more space then. I lived in a one bed until my daughter was 5, I made do with it, it was fine.

I’d say it sounds like the right decision for now. I like to second guess myself so I understand your qualms. But as I get older I realise sometimes you just need to work with the here and now.

As long as you know you will get the support that you are expecting, then anything could happen in the next three years, and your plans may change.

As someone else said, this may just be last minute nerves.

I'm not sure you'll end up moving back if you have no support there. I'd go for the move on the basis that I'd end up staying longer than 3 years.

There's no way I'd intend to sell up again in another 3 years...i think itd be financial madness.

This... also you say you lived in the area years and years ago, maybe it has improved a lot since then. The area I first lived in has.
Do you think the area has potential? Have you noticed nice cafe's opening.. are local school/nursery/healthcare facilities in the area better than they were when you first lived there. Is the transport situation - to a place of higher employment - reasonably good? What's the council tax like. Maybe more parks and children's facilities than before? or do you think the area is going down hill. Its so hard to say. But you can do some research online. Maybe talk to estate agents, they usually carry info about local schools/nurseries nearby ( with a pinch of salt)
As others say, confirm with your mum how much support she's willing to give and see what she thinks about the area these days...do you have a wider support network there?
As the rate is fixed, if its affordable then things may improve in the future. But work out the full costs, the pros and cons very carefully and do as much research as you can.