Quick supermarket tapas help?

[welldog]

I've had a shit month, especially this week.
Bereavements, family trouble and fallouts.
I am the scapegoat and peacemaker.
It has been awful.

My friend came over from Spain to support me, she has family here she has been with them too. She goes back next week.

She's coming over for dinner tonight, casual. I asked what she wanted to eat - she said Prosecco and tapas .

After almost no sleep last night I woke up late this morning with a migraine so bad I can't speak, see well, or move my face. Before anyone asks, Siri wrote this. I cut paste it.

DH said he will dash out to buy supermarket tapas.

We have all supermarkets locally, except Morrisons,

What's the best supermarket to go to buy decent tapas?
A mix of warm and cold.
DH to get a roast in the bag chicken too.

I'm allergic to anchovies.

Thank you.

Lidl was doing there Iberia range a few weeks ago, there might be some left.

👍🏻
Our local Lidl isn't as good as others.
We can try though.

Waitrose is nice for those charcuterie packs & I get their Unearthed stuffed sweet peppers, sun dried tomatoes, olives. More antipasto than tapas, but all v good.

Are you ok to host dinner tonight? Can't you make it tomorrow?

Your husband can sort the tapas I imagine.

He could go to a tapas place and get it to take out. That's what I'd do!

Tesco have a tapas range with sliced meats, olives, sun dried tomatoes and frittata. We have a small Tesco nearby and they stock a decent range so imagine a bigger one should have the same or better.

Asda have a range of ‘tapas’ but it’s not all strictly Spanish. There’s falafels, vine leaf wraps etc.

Unfortunately, for this case, we live in a village. We did Google takeaway tapas locally, there's nothing.

Thanks for your help everyone.
I've sent him out into the wilds to hunt for tapas. With a list.

The real problem is the headaches, it's possible that I'm having mini strokes, cross your fingers or pray to your Gods for me please.

The rest is for a long post on the relationships board.
The short version?
Sudden bereavement, my family tearing each other apart. Plus my employer being shit and one of my oldest, best friends treating me very badly. It feels like someone has ripped my heart from my chest and dragged it down the road.

Still, we have a roof, we have food, water and winter hasn't kicked in yet.

Thank you everyone

Should you go to hospital if they are mini strokes? Please be careful. Good luck OP, sounds like it's time to take it easy and put yourself first x

@ThisUserNameIsAvailableOk
Honestly I'm a big fan of the NHS. Yes, l probably should go to hospital. The trouble is that our local hospital is truly hell. Really, really bad. I won't get into the specifics.

Truly, I am in my 40s, I would rather die at home than go to that hospital.

@ThisUserNameIsAvailableOk I meant to ask; do you know me IRL? Everyone I know friends, colleagues etc, have told me that I have to put myself first. I'm not sure that I know how.

Hi,

No I don't know you personally, I'd give you a talking to if I did though .

"I am the scapegoat and peacemaker."

Anyone who makes you the scapegoat is not your friend and you should take a step back. Just become nonchalant and a bit aloof, don't rise to anything and get yourself a few stock phrases,

"Oh that's terrible for you" sympathetic nod. As opposed to rushing in and solving their problem for them.

Don't be the first one checking in on them all the time. Don't reply to their texts and demands immediately. Start being "offline". Be truthful and say "I've been unwell, I need to rest". You do.

Be "busy". You can't be their saviour, even if this is very close family. Your children are the only exception and even then it depends on the circumstances.

You were so unwell you thought you might have had a series of mini strokes yet you're posting on here for tapas recommendations for your friend. She wouldn't want you to do that! She'd want you at the hospital. If you really fear your nearest one then have DH take you to a different one.

Please go get checked out.

Hi @ThisUserNameIsAvailableOk it's my family who make me the scapegoat and persecute me.

One of my personal bugbears is unqualified people making mh or personality diagnoses of people. However, I recently read a narcissist checklist and my Mother checks every box.

DH & I moved away, he couldn't stand to see me bullied anymore.

My Mother is very wealthy.
Unfortunately, my adult DCs are spending a lot of time with my family, in part I believe that this is because they are hoping to benefit from her will.
Myself? I have long since given up caring about her money, it was dangled as a carrot my whole life in an if you don't do this I will write you out of my will way.
A windfall would be nice, but I don't need it enough to compromise myself completely.

I'm in my 40s, so strokes are unusual in someone of my age who is as fit and healthy as I am.
I'm under the care of our local brain injury specialist team.

The friend I wanted tapas for lives abroad. Recently she came back for a while and I saw her a few times. Last Friday I had asked her what she wanted to eat, she h

bum, sorry. Pressed send too soon.

When I asked my friend what she wanted to eat, she said tapas please. Which is why I started this thread. I wasn't sure whether she was serious about the tapas, though we ate very well.

DH is quietly angry that our DCs are being kind to my Mother. I get it, it took me years to work out her shenanigans. I'll wait for them.

The brain injury unit at the bigger hospital is in the nearest big city. They have been running a lot of tests. It was the specialist who suggested mini strokes. It would have been diagnosed sooner if I hadn't been taken ill during a pandemic. I'm looking after myself.

Thank you for being considerate