So..please tell me what I should actually do when I see someone who appears to be homeless begging?

[FlyingD]

My daughter feels upset about people who are rough sleeping and sees that I don't give money to them all. I explained that I give to food banks to help but she says she can't walk past as she feels so sad for them. What do I tell her? Anyone work with street homeless people?

Oh they’re definitely out there.

These days I don’t carry cash but in the past I’ve given some change. A few weeks ago I had a quick chat with someone asking for change outside a supermarket and asked if they wanted any shopping.

In the past our town centre had a problem with aggressive begging and I got chased up from the station by people asking/demanding cash. Sometimes I’d get sworn at for saying no. I wouldn’t want to return to that situation.

OK. I agree. But there's a limited amount I can do to help that. What I can do is give some money to someone clearly rattling with withdrawals.

I am not virtue signalling, this is my and several of my friends' lived experience.

I had a nasty experience when I was a naïve 20 something year old in London for the day. I went to hand a hot cup of tea to a guy who had been begging for money for a cup of tea.

I hadn't realised he actually wanted cash for drink or drugs. Unfortunately he was angry that I didn't give him cash and threw the hot tea at me - luckily a lot of it missed.

Since then I never give to beggars, but do donate to homeless charities and food banks.

Usually the vast majority only want money, sadly.
There's a lady locally who comes over quite well educated, all summer she was floating about saying she is homeless and living in a tent but the tent has got damaged /burnt so she needs cash to buy a new one... I said 'Come with me to Millets I'll buy you a new one' and the story changed, she needed money to get a train ticket to some temporary accommodation so I said 'Come with me to the train station, I will buy your ticket' SO then she said she needed a tenner to get temp accommodation from the council 'Come with me to the council and I will pay your fee' . That finally hacked her off and she decided I was harassing her! I kept warning others about her as she headed in their direction while I was in town too. Such a shame.

That's awful! Your poor friend!

Do you think about all that when you're buying clothes made in sweat shops in developing countries?

It's not for me as an individual to solve all the world's problems. I just do what I feel is right.

We have people outside the supermarket here. If they ever ask me for anything, I always point them to the community cafe and night Shelter about 100m down the road and say "There's a cafe there that will give you a free hot drink and meal, and a bed for the night".

Oddly they never want that.... replies are usually "no thanks" / "I just want the cash" or looking at me like I'm crazy.

I have direct today volunteering for a homeless charity. Most cities have a good network of places that people can get food, drink, advice, showers,toiletries, laundry and clothes. They charity I volunteer with does not do not meals because several other places do.
I make endless hot drinks, round of toast, was and fold clothes and just chat. All of them are advised where they can find a bed for the night but even those who have places in hostels sometimes chose to sleep out because it is quieter. We are people street homeless, those sofa surfing,those sleeping in cars and sometimes those who have been housed continue to come for support and company.
If you really want to make a difference, Google what charities work near you. Contact them and ask what they need. It may be very specific. I was sorting out the shelves today and we had no trousers in a 30 or 32 waist. I had 2 guys ask and could not help. We run out of shoes and trainers in a size 10 all the time. We have no small hoodies and waterproof coats.
Sleeping bags are always needed but the charities teens to buy good quality warm ones. If anyone knows any contacts who could source at price, let charities know. We have donations of food that needs eating that day which is always popular.
Spray deodorant is popular as it covers up the smell of being homeless so donate things like that.
Whilst most of our ' punters' are living on next to nothing, a few have jobs and are choosing to sleep out to save money. One guy last week was working in construction but saving and thought he might have£10,000 by Christmas which was his goal. A few work cash in hand.
The charity helps them with legal stuff, let's then use the address for post, liaises with authorities to get accomodation, and just treats then add human beings. They all have different stories and we don't judge.
Someone's when we walk around the streets in the evenings offering advice, food, bit drinks and emergency supplies, we get told to go away as ruining the begging opportunities!!
To summarize,support local charities financially and practically. They have the expertise to support these guys and gals.

Give something to a local homeless charity. The city I used to live in had contactless points throughout the city that people could donate to the homeless charities- great idea. The charities were out every night, visible, providing food, drinks and trying to encourage them to have a bed in their shelter- lots didn't want to or couldn't because of addictions.

And there are benefit cheats and there are people who fake mental illness and many others out to take advantage of people who care - should we punish all the genuine suffers?

Folks who happily and virtuously bung ‘homeless’ people your spare change - how do you know they are not professional beggars? How can you be sure you are not funding organised crime?

I’d never give money
I’ve known people who beg and claim that they’re homeless etc but the reality is that they have somewhere to go ( years ago I worked at the ymca - this was rife there. )
money should go to the charities that can help lots of people

I’ve bought food and drinks for people on the street before tho

I read about a guy once, total scammer - he managed to get a flat paid for by the taxpayer and he carried on scrounging, raised enough for a full refurb, he got other people to give him money for a big party to celebrate his wedding: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boris_Johnson

Sometimes it’s hard to tell who is ‘genuine homeless’ - I worked with a charity and we worked with a lot of charities. There was a lot of MH issues. I try to help by giving a drink/food and suggest XYZ charity that may be able to help.

The drink/drugs are generally why they are in that situation in the first place.

I don't give to people on the streets ever. My brother (drug addict) was on the streets for a bit and what helped him was the local homeless charity that 1. Fed him 2. Helped him get housed 3. Helped with drugs/mh support. So I give to them instead.

I do give money, I try to speak to people. I have seen the same people grow up on the streets from when I was first going into town, I know some are the same age as me, they look twenty years older than I do
I find it very hard to go into the town centre now, there are far more people than there used to be, and definitely more women than I have ever seen, but also many who had left the streets and now are back (budget cuts).

@FlyingD I would talk to your DD about her feelings. Tell her you understand why it is hard to see the world is not perfect and it is sad that we can't fix every problem. Tell her some excellent people work on trying to solve these problems but that everyone's duty is not to be unkind.

She might like to do some fundraising for a charity like Shelter or The Big Issue - she doesn't have to do anything public/showy but taking a step to help a cause has been proven to make children feel more hopeful and therefore less sad. She could just save some change, or do extra chores for you to 'raise funds' and then you can send a small cheque.

She sounds really kind. The world is a bit hard

I've met homeless people through my old job and a lot of them wouldn't go into the hostels round here as, despite being promoted as "dry", were actually full of drugs and sadly also were rife with people stealing and fighting. The people I spoke to said they'd prefer to take their chances on the street. One young girl (18yrs old, kicked out of home) was put in one hostel that is known to be dangerous at times. My friend who volunteers there gave the girl advice on how to survive the nights. Other people would prey on the young and more vulnerable. The hostel workers were unable to do much in the face of so much adversity as they were often threatened etc. Personally I did say to my friend that I didn't understand that, ban the bad people, or anyone caught breaking the rules, but she said it's not that easy as it can be difficult to know exactly what is going on, partly as you can't have eyes or CCTV everywhere.

It's such a difficult and complex situation. I don't think anyone has the answer unfortunately.

I try to talk to those I give money to, I offer advice on street vets, shelters, benefits, places I know that offer work or help getting into work that specifically help homeless people. I will also give money if the person seems to be genuine. I probably don't always get it right, but if I end up giving a tenner to someone who uses it to get high, then whilst I would prefer them to have used it towards food or a bed (and yes, some hostels do charge, they're nicer and more like a room rather than a pod or floor space), well that's their choice and I won't judge them for it.

In the summer, I have given out bottled water and sunscreen (nothing fancy, just from Poundland) which was really well received, even from a group of people that I am 99% sure were addicts, but they were so grateful that maybe they genuinely appreciated it. Who knows?

I've bought alcohol before. If they have an alcohol addiction me not buying cans isn't going to cure their addiction. In fact it might stop them going into withdrawals. I wouldn't buy drugs. It's illegal and drug withdrawal is shit but it won't kill you.

whatever you feel comfortable with. I occasionally give money but always offer food / drink. AND Show some compassion. They experience people walk past and ignore them all day long, ignore them, not want to make eye contact.

I recently stopped with my 3 DC. Offered food - he requested a hot chocolate and an ice cream. I asked him how he was, what was his name etc… he put his hand out and I shook it. we chatted for 5 or so minutes with the DC. He couldn’t thank me enough for the food but also our time, it meant so much to him. And a valuable lesson to my DC, to treat everyone with respect, be grateful for what they have and that having an optimistic outlook helps even on your darkest days.

Offer to buy people a sandwich or coffee if you have time

I always buy greggs for the homeless guy near me & pouches of food for his dog.

I will never forget when I was a kid in Manchester centre with my gran & she bought tins of soup & handed them out to the honeless & one guy started scream at her/us asking how the f*ck was he meant to open it without a tin opener! He totally had a point but I was so scared getting shouted at🤣

There's loads in Liverpool with dogs. My niece will buy them something to eat and drink, plus food for the dogs, but she never gives them cash.

Although I acknowledge the pain these people must be in and their right to spend the money how they want, you also need to think about what that money is funding. These gangs selling drugs don't tend to stop at drugs (which on its own is riddled with murder, torture and children being forced into a life of crime). These gangs also are known to partake in human, weapons, and ammunition trafficking too, so funding someone's "last hit" could also be funding the abduction and sale of some poor 12 year old, the production of bullets for a terrorist attack, or the murder of you local teen lad.

Its exactly why although smoking something as minor as cannabis is harmless, buying cannabis isn't.

So long as you know where that money is going, you should do what you want with it.

When I lived in Edinburgh there was a 24 hour shop in town that had shifts of beggars. Someone who looked fairly presentable would get out of a car, the previous "homeless person" would swap with them taking cash collected. Sit down sleeping bag up to waist, grubby blanket round shoulders. All the props stayed sleeping bag, blanket, the sign.

This. I used to work with homeless people and giving beggars cash makes the problem worse