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Original poster

How much help did you give your children when they moved out?

16 replies

LostForWords2021 · 14/09/2022 20:24

DD is renting a flat! I’m so emotional and excited for her and her girlfriend - we only found out they were accepted this afternoon.

it’s part furnished and DH is talking about trips to ikea and looking at a TV to purchase for them as well as donating some of our household items like the upstairs hoover

Which made me wonder what help others gave their 20+ yr olds when they move out for the first time.

OP posts:
Playplayaway · 14/09/2022 20:57

We had a sort out of odd bits of furniture and kitchen bits and pieces that we didn't need, hired a van for moving day, bought a load of cleaning stuff and an initial food shop. On the day we helped clean the flat, although it wasn't too bad and generally helped out with making sure they knew how the boiler, oven worked etc. We also helped with initial advice about bills and budgeting made sure they knew about needing a tv licence etc.
It is very emotional but it's exciting for them and that sort of rubs off.

JudgeRindersMinder · 14/09/2022 21:05

We did much the same as @Playplayaway , and when the washing machine which the previous tenant had left broke down we bought them a replacement. My dad bought them bedroom furniture-the way he saw it was that that’s what he’d have given them as a wedding gift if they were getting married, so why not have it when they needed it

Jxtina86 · 14/09/2022 21:10

Answering from the perspective of being that 20 something once upon a time... my now in-laws helped with the move as we didn't have a car or even driving license. My parents bought us a mini tool kit for minor repairs and also sorted out some furniture from home (from my old room and other bits they didn't need). When we bought our house they helped out with lots of DIY bits. I'd definitely like to help my daughter when she moves out! I'm sure your daughter will very much appreciate anything you do to help!

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CareTillTheEnd · 14/09/2022 21:12

In the late 80s I got my first flat aged 18 when leaving care (in care from being a baby) with no family support. I got a leaving care grant of £170 which in my one bedroom flat provided - carpet for the sitting room (laid like a rug), an armchair, a black and white portable tv, a single bed, dressing table and a cooker.

When my DC move out I can’t wait to help them furnish their own place without worrying over what they can afford. Smile

I absolutely loved that flat though, my own taste of independence. Fond memories of trying to watch the snooker on my tele Grin

Sunshineandrainbow · 14/09/2022 21:15

I got Dd her sofa and bed. Also a cordless hoover and wardrobe.
Apliances were in the flat already.

autienotnaughty · 14/09/2022 21:20

When dd's went to uni we bought all the essentials, they had them when they moved to rented property. But they have only rented furnished.

Supersimkin2 · 14/09/2022 21:22

Nothing much - I did all the physical work alone and dad spent £50 at Homebase on cutlery etc. when parents came for a meal after I’d settled in.

I asked DM for any kitchen implements she had spare. She grudgingly gifted me a chipped spatula.

The plus to that level of generosity is that you can build up all the stuff you know suits you best.

mondaytosunday · 14/09/2022 21:30

My mum helped me choose wallpaper etc and found the decorator to do it - I think she must have paid him too. I borrowed the kitchen table and chairs, and got the second bedroom bed and two wardrobes second hand. Fridge snd TV I bought second hand too. I think I got a new sofa. So between borrowed and second hand I paid for the furniture, my parents helped with the deposit and decorating.
I'll help my kids as much as I can - my son lives in a place I own which came furnished and while he takes care of Day to Day expenses I kitted it out with pots and pans, dishes etc. I also changed the curtains and rug. He's on just above minimum wage (teenager) do wouldn't be able to afford to himself.

Original poster
LostForWords2021 · 14/09/2022 21:44

Thank you, such lovely replies.

OP posts:
Original poster
LostForWords2021 · 14/09/2022 21:47

CareTillTheEnd · 14/09/2022 21:12

In the late 80s I got my first flat aged 18 when leaving care (in care from being a baby) with no family support. I got a leaving care grant of £170 which in my one bedroom flat provided - carpet for the sitting room (laid like a rug), an armchair, a black and white portable tv, a single bed, dressing table and a cooker.

When my DC move out I can’t wait to help them furnish their own place without worrying over what they can afford. Smile

I absolutely loved that flat though, my own taste of independence. Fond memories of trying to watch the snooker on my tele Grin

I didn’t live in care but I didn’t have anyone growing up so no help at all, I did it all myself.

I do feel grateful we can help and we will - I just wanted to engage what’s appropriate or over the top - DH would furnish brand new everything if I let him

thank you for replying

OP posts:
neighboursmustliveon · 15/09/2022 14:13

When I moved to uni I got left over bits from grandparents, I don't think so had anything from my mum as she had nothing to give.

When Moved in with now husband, again I can't remember my mum specifically getting me anything. My in laws bought us a bed and mattress and they might have paid to replace the sofa we were given a while later (I might be making the sofa up though).

My children are still in secondary school so we are hopefully a long way off this situation yet.

Original poster
LostForWords2021 · 15/09/2022 21:04

Very helpful thank you

OP posts:
FinallyMrsE · 15/09/2022 21:10

I tried to help as much as I could without stepping on their toes and treating them like children.

I gave them money to buy a new bed, we had a spare sofa after a rejig of the dining room and a dining table that we replaced. I then went with them on moving day and helped clean and took them finishing touches as gifts, a plant, a diffuser and some candles. oh and I’d already bought my son a tv and a dyson as Christmas presents the 2 years before when he was in student flats.

They were very grateful and it was lovely to be able to give them support as I’m not in a position to help out with deposits for a house purchase which I would have liked to do.

Original poster
LostForWords2021 · 15/09/2022 21:23

FinallyMrsE · 15/09/2022 21:10

I tried to help as much as I could without stepping on their toes and treating them like children.

I gave them money to buy a new bed, we had a spare sofa after a rejig of the dining room and a dining table that we replaced. I then went with them on moving day and helped clean and took them finishing touches as gifts, a plant, a diffuser and some candles. oh and I’d already bought my son a tv and a dyson as Christmas presents the 2 years before when he was in student flats.

They were very grateful and it was lovely to be able to give them support as I’m not in a position to help out with deposits for a house purchase which I would have liked to do.

that’s Lovely and exactly what I was thinking ie, a big bunch of flowers with a new vase

I can get vouchers through work so a hoover, steam iron or air fryer is on the Christmas list this year

OP posts:
SeasonFinale · 15/09/2022 21:29

I am now coveting an upstairs hoover!

Original poster
LostForWords2021 · 15/09/2022 21:42

SeasonFinale · 15/09/2022 21:29

I am now coveting an upstairs hoover!

It’s an old banger and mainly used to hoover dog hair off the bed cover which I might not be arsed to do if I had to carry one up and down…

OP posts:
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