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Original poster

DH just had a stroke. He is okish....now what?

15 replies

WeasleyWoman · 14/09/2022 06:55

2 days ago DH rang me casually from the back of an ambulance on his way to hospital having suddenly lost the use of his arm mid lecture at work.
So long story short DH is now home from hospital having had a stroke. He is incredibly lucky and just has reduced movement in the fingers of his right hand, blood thinners for life and a ban on driving for at least a month. He is here, happy and whole and on sick leave for 2 weeks. I guess I am writing this as I don't know how to process. I have noticed I am spending energy reassuring everyone - he has had a stroke but its not that bad etc. Which is true but it also could have not been. Its kind of like he had a big car crash and only minor injuries but he also at risk now more at risk of crashing again. I am assured the odd are very good now he is on medication but how do I get over that he could just suddenly not be there? I am not panicking. I am prepping which is pretty callous of me but I have 4 kids under 8 and so its easy to loose myself in the sheer practicalities of getting through a day. Any tips? How long is it tactful to wait before I suggest we write a will? Do I have to declare his stroke to the life insurance people?

OP posts:
StottyCakeandJam · 14/09/2022 07:02

I think perhaps he takes it as an early warning system to slow down, take his health more seriously (if he doesn’t already). As for will writing, I don’t think tact comes into it; it’s a perfect time to start that conversation. No one ever knows what’s round the corner. 💐 for you as although he's the one who had the stroke, it’s impacted you too.

Cognacsoft · 14/09/2022 07:05

Gosh OP. Such a lot to go through.
Wills should be made regardless of health.
I think informing your insurance is wise.

My main advice is to ensure your dh takes the warfarin exactly as prescribed and has his blood checked regularly.
A colleague's dh got very lax and had a catastrophic stroke which left him severely disabled.

GiantTortoise · 14/09/2022 07:06

I understand OP. It seems incredible how things can just change in the blink of an eye and your healthy DH suddenly seems vulnerable. It will take a bit of time for both of you to process this.

UseOfWeapons · 14/09/2022 07:31

Agree with PP, don’t let him stop the blood thinners, my brother in law did after his first stroke, as they were making his gums bleed, but he had a 2nd stroke 5 days after he stopped them.
If he hasn’t already been checked heart-wise, ask GP to follow-up to check he doesn’t have AF, this is often missed when someone has had a stroke.
Its never too soon to do wills for you both, but for life insurance, I have no idea. I hope your DH continues to make good progress, and take the practicalities one day at a time.

Albgo · 14/09/2022 07:36

@Cognacsoft he may not necessarily be on warfarin. I had a stroke two years ago and am on an anticoagulant that doesn't need monitoring in the same way. Ie I don't need regular blood tests and don't have to adjust my dose.

Marmight · 14/09/2022 07:42

No, you do not have to inform the life insurance company.
The policy is underwritten and risk assessed when you took it out and the cost is then set for the duration of the policy.

CountessOfSponheim · 14/09/2022 08:03

There will be tests to figure out if there's an underlying cause: heart tests, brain scans, ultrasounds of various bits, then more tests based on the outcome of those, probably a chat with a geneticist. And lots of appointments with neurology.

cptartapp · 14/09/2022 08:16

His blood pressure needs to be monitored, can do this at home, and make sure he's been checked for diabetes. Men are five times more likely to have a stroke or heart attack if diabetic, women seven times!
Moderate alcohol and definitely no smoking.
His cholesterol should have been checked and he would probably be put on a statin.
Practically, are sure wills are up to date and consider arranging power of attorneys.

RampantIvy · 14/09/2022 08:19

The doctors discovered that DH had had a stroke while investigating something else. He had a sleeping stroke - ie he didn't know he had had one because he had no symptoms. It must have occurred while he was asleep. He is now on statins and Clopidogrel (a blood clot preventative, not a blood thinner).

Statins can sometimes have the side effect of causing muscle cramp, but please do not just stop taking them. The patient must talk to the GP about trying an alternative statin.

Statins are the main medicated preventative of having another stroke. It goes without saying that the other main preventative is a change in lifestyle.

I hope your DH makes a speedy rcovery Flowers

MrsT84 · 14/09/2022 08:28

My DH had a stroke back in June, 6 weeks after our DD was born (we also have a 7 year old DS). His was caused by extreme high blood pressure and he was in two different hospitals over 11 days. He was advised to take 6 weeks off work but is self-employed so just eased back in gently. He has to take daily blood pressure tablets for life now and is being monitored by stroke, heart and renal specialists. He also has a stroke community nurse. I think it has really made him look at his health and especially diet - he has lost over a stone since! I am constantly fearful that it will happen again and worse than before. I try not to "stress him out" too much! I hadn't even thought about wills etc, but perhaps it is time to put something in place - I am planning on finishing maternity leave in November so finances will look a bit better but I know I will have to ask DH to do a bit more....It's such a balancing act! I hope your DH continues to recover well x

ShadowoftheFall · 14/09/2022 08:30

Sorry you are going through this. Practically, take it as a warning and get wills etc. in place. Also, make sure you have all your paperwork in order, and can access his online accounts etc. Take it from one who knows,if the worst happens, that is not a time to be hunting around and find you can’t access something important.

Toddlerteaplease · 14/09/2022 09:32

Now he's being appropriately medicated and on the radar of the specialist teams. He's in a better place than he was pre stroke.

DuckBushCityLimit · 14/09/2022 09:48

Check if you have critical illness cover as it might pay out, depending on the terms of your policy.

sweetgingercat · 14/09/2022 09:53

Sorry this is happening to you OP. Watch out for stroke related depression which can hit some time after and if your insurance/finance can pay then get him physio for his hand/fingers if he needs it. Don’t wait for NHS physio which can take too long to organise.

Daffodilsandtuplips · 12/09/2023 11:02

My DH spent three days in hospital, that’s quite unusual but physically he was fine but his speech and memory was affected. It was during covid though so that may have been the cause of his quick discharge. SALT and Occupational Therapy started the day after he came home, due to covid rules they came to the house every day for a month, then twice a week for another two weeks. Then discharged from therapy but even now is still under care of the stroke unit, they ring him twice a year and his hemeatolgy consultant rings him once a year, (he was found to have a genetic condition in his blood which caused his blood to thicken, a missing protein.)
He takes a statin, two blood pressure tablets and a blood thinner, not Warfarin, its one that doesn’t need as many tests and has less side effects.
When your DH comes home look out for the ‘sun downer effect’: they get very tired, sleepy, quiet in the early evening.

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