Talk to me about school rewards

[Thereisatime]

My DD just started Reception. She is my first and I grew up in a different country with a totally different reward system.

Last week DD came twice with Well Done stickers while her friend from the same class came with Great, another boy came once with Great Work, another one had no stickers all week. That was their first week and I was really surprised that they are already implementing some sort of reward system so very early on. Today DD told me that one child got Star of the day reward and she was sad she didn't.

I feel a little but confused about all these 'stickers' and what they really mean. In all honesty I thought the schools here are a lot more inclusive and all about co-operation and less about encouraging individual competition and I feel like these rewards are really about that. And they are only 4 years old!!!

I'd like to know from parents with more experience, do these 'rewards' motivate/demotivate kids? Do they really work in the long run, is it the same in every school? 🤔

They’ll all get a turn at getting something. Our school does ‘achievement certificates’ every week and pretty much every kid gets the same number every year.

I have a box of stickers and I let them choose their own. Even if they can read they choose them on colour or style or picture rather that what they say.

DD told me the teachers choose what sticker each child gets and the one who didn't get any has some challenging behaviour and struggles to settle in school (we know the child) so there seems to be some sort of meaning behind the type of sticker or the lack of it 🤔.

I started school at 6, being one of the youngest, some of my classmates were 7 already, and I think having to deal with this kind of competition at 4 is too early?

This makes me so sad. I'm a teacher. The kid presenting with the challenging behaviour needs those stickers and encouragement the most 😢

There's loads of research on intrinsic versus extrinsic motivation. In short, the stickers don't really do anything long term. Kids needs to be intrinsically motivated to do well long term. If your child is happy with the stickers then happy days.

Reception is a lot about learning expected behaviour in school. That does involve a system of rewards.

Likely what is on the sticker doesn't matter, it will be the one the teacher has to hand / best fits the reason for the sticker.

My son had star of the week and a traffic light system. Basically every kid in the class got start of the week once.

They had a 'treasure box' for those who ended the week on a green face.

There are a whole range of certificates that continue through the school. My son is on a mission to get a platinum card every term (means you always display good behaviour)

Some children do struggle with the transition to school and they will be getting support to make that transition. You might find they become star of the week for just sitting still for a day.

Thank you for this. It makes sense.

They are praising the good behaviour and ignoring the bad - they are using well behaved children to model the expected.

Im sure you praised your child when using the potty or learning to use a knife and fork or saying please and thank you. I doubt you continue that praise once mastered. You move in to the next expectation.

That’s life. It isn’t a completion unless you make it so. Some kids don’t get what they need at home or haven’t been taught certain things (like manners) and need encouraged.

I remember dd1 commenting in reception that to get the most stickers she needed to be bad in the morning and then she'd get lots of stickers for being "not bad" in the afternoon. 🤣

My experience in year R is they give stickers out like smarties in the first term. Half the class would come out with them stuck all over their front.

Unfortunately it triggered ds' sensory issues and he hated with a passion having stickers on him. After a bit they realised that he didn't see it as a reward they got him a book to put it in, which he tolerated.

they do this in every school in the uk i think but yeah this is pretty standard, she'll have a chance for star of the week eventually they don't just choose the same people plus they are 4 and you said it's not meant to be a competition but it isn't it's a reward system same as stars on a chart for potty training or something there's no penalty if you don't get one you just don't have one that day

This reminded me of my DD's gymnastics class about 8 months ago. One of the boys in the class had a very challenging behaviour, the teachers always had a word with his mum at the end of the class, I felt for her. Then one day he got 'star of the day' sticker because that day he was good. DD was very upset about it as she always listened and did well. And it really bugged her for a while, kept telling me why she can never be star of the day :(

Then one day this boy didn't even get the regular sticker that everyone got as apparently 'he didn't do good listening' and DD came out of the class so happy 😆and told me straight away. Some kids do take these things more seriously than we think.

My son said that. He was upset that he hadn't had a certificate for ages. He said it wasn't fair as he was always good.

The next day he got a platinum card and we got to go to assembly to see him get it. He was soooooooo proud of himself.

They get dojo points (🤷🏼‍♀️) now and every day he tells me how many he has