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Joke about maternity clothes

3 replies

Kitti · 23/01/2008 17:47

Maternity Clothes ..... 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as >soon as it's confirmed you're pregnant. 2nd baby: You wear your regular >clothes for as long as possible. 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your >regular clothes. Preparing for the Birth ..... 1st baby: You practice your >breathing religiously. 2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you >remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing. 3rd baby: You ask for >an epidural in your 8th month. The First Clothes ..... 1st baby: You >pre-wash your newborn's clothes, colour-coordinate them, and fold them >neatly in the baby's little wardrobe. 2nd baby: You check to make sure that >the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains. >3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they? Worries ..... 1st baby: At the >first sign of distress - a whimper, a frown you pick up the baby. 2nd baby: >You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn. 3rd >baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to operate the mechanical swing. >Dummies..... 1st baby: If the dummy falls on the floor, you put it away >until you can go home and wash and boil it. 2nd baby: When the dummy falls >on the floor, you wash it off with some juice from the baby's bottle. 3rd >baby: You wipe it off on your trousers, lick it to get the fluff off, and >pop it back in. Nappies ..... 1st baby: You change your baby's nappy every >hour, whether they need it or not. 2nd baby: You change their nappy every 2 >to 3 hours, if needed. 3rd: You try to change their nappy before others >start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees. >Activities ..... 1st baby: You take your infant to Tumble Tots, Baby Swing, >and Baby Story Hour. 2nd baby: You take your infant to Tumble Tots. 3rd >baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the launderette. Going >Out ..... 1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you >call home 5 times. 2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you >remember to leave a number where you can be reached. 3rd baby: You leave >instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood. At Home ..... >1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby. 2nd: >You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't >squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby. 3rd baby: You spend a little bit of >every day hiding from the children. Swallowing Coins..... 1st child: when >first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand >x-rays. 2nd child: when 2nd child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for >coin to reappear. 3rd child: when 3rd child swallows a coin you deduct it >from his pocket money>

OP posts:
Sidge · 23/01/2008 21:38

That is funny!

I have 3 children

phraedd · 05/03/2008 18:03

i too have 3 children

very funny (and oh so true)

Emprexia · 05/03/2008 21:38

if you've been a nursery worker before being a mom, you skip straight to 3, lmao.

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