Dd1 left for university last week, dd2 has gone back to school (year 1). I am starting a maths degree next month (part time, 3 modules a year for 4 years).
I'm a single parent, and after 2 stints on psych wards have been diagnosed with Bipolar and Schizophrenia. I have no family back up, but dd2's Dad sees her every second weekend.
I was taken off the anti-psychotic meds cold turkey a few months ago due to supply issues, but am being put onto a new one in the next few weeks which will hopefully help. I'm also being discharged from services next month which is a big thing!
Due to the anti-p meds I gained 65 lbs last year, and due to pregnancy and other meds I have had 8 teeth removed (and not replaced-apparently because an emergency dentist took most of them out my dentist said he can't bridge them) and have had 4 root canals in the past 2.5 years. I also lost all my hair, but it is now growing back. So I look rough and yukky and feel v self conscious and rather disgusted by myself.
In my "old" life (pre-diagnosis) I gained a law degree from Oxbridge and had a nice job, but lost everything when I became ill and have been out too long now to go back into Law. Am I being ludicrous to hope that if I do well enough in my degree I could make it back to Oxbridge to do a maths MSc, and hopefully a PhD? Am I absolutely ridiculous? Am I too old/mentally ill to harbour such hopes? Will I ever be able to deflate from a size 18 back to a size 10? I am so excited and so scared of botching it all up. Please send well wishes!