Starting to dread having to make household calls

[BobDear]

This might just be me - and actually I think what I'm really looking for is some clarity on whether this sounds rationale. For context I am not having a great time in general at home - marriage issues and teenage issues - life has been hard for some time.

I also recently went through menopause.

But is anyone else finding that their mental health or general wellbeing is adversely affected by the amount of time and lack of resolution when having to make general household calls. I'm talking banks/insurance/utilities/service providers/hmrc/council etc. Calls that have to be made.

Today I had a few on my 'to do' list. One medical, two related to my mum (who died four years ago - so it's not particularly raw) and one utility. I am a freelancer and currently working full time from home and these calls have so far taken four and a half hours and I haven't got a clean and final resolution on anything.

I was on hold for between 16 and 49 mins and am currently on hold to an insurer and have been on hold for 44 mins. Most people don't listen properly to the issue and give scripted and robotic responses that don't solve anything and I'm actually getting to the point where I really really dread it and it's making me feel sick. There are things slipping because I don't have the time to be on hold or explain the same thing to five departments and I feel a bit like Michael Douglas in 'Falling Down' (if anyone remembers that film).

It's actually a joke that it's now normal to have to commit this level of time to speaking to someone. I am owed £150 by Opodo and have been trying to get this back for 6 months but it's so long winded and difficult to resolve that I am about to give up as the thought of calling again makes me feel ill.

Is it just me? Is this everything else that's going on in my life? Or does anyone else feel this way?

I've reverted to phoning companies rather than using Live Chat because at least when I get through, they are focusing on me. Live Chat is frustrating because it can take 10 minutes for them to reapong to something you wrote, and you know it's because they have 5 or 6 chats on the go at the same time.

Definitely not just you. I won’t bore you with the story but I had to spend around 200 hours on the phone to British Gas and 20 plus emails over the course of two years discussing the same issue. I was in tears several times because no-one was listening. Then you get the insult of ‘your call is very important to us’…well if it was that fucking important then they’d hire more people to answer the bloody phones 😡

And breathe…rant temporarily over.

I just remembered another really infuriating one. DH was previously married and agreed to take on a small debt that he and the ex had run up which had gone to a debt collection agency. Anyway, he called one night and waited 58 mins before they answered and he got the usual pleasantries for 2 mins before the phone cut off. We were infuriated but thought it was one of those things. We rang back twice more on different days and each time they picked up at 58 mins and cut off at 60 mins without getting further than ‘name and what’s your DOB?!!’ I don’t know how the company ever got anything resolved!

The one for DWP doesn't understand my accent. And there's no other way of contacting them unless I speak to the job centre who can't always help.

Not just me then!
The thought of having to make these exhausting calls is awful. I'm finding it more and more difficult.

Not sure if it's relevant but I'm also menopausal which has coincided with anxiety and depression issues

@nilpois also menopausal and can't decide if my capacity for this has dropped or whether the grind of trying to get any kind of customer service has got worse. I am so impressed by people that 'phone around for insurance'. I can't even imagine taking that on the way I feel.

Definitely not just you!! I had a fraudulent claim on my car insurance in November 2020. I was 8.5months pregnant and it took till july 2022 with my chasing umpteen times probably lost days to being on hold (not good with a small baby) before the claim was removed off my record!!

In todays world of online services I truly do not understand why we still need to have call centres especially for cancellations of insurances.

It's not just you. Life admin is so much harder these days and difficult to ever get to a stage that anything is actually resolved. I have the same issue with being on hold forever, and then you get a call centre where they just talk over you with their script. Deeply frustrating.

Depending on the issue, a private message on twitter sometimes works well.

Oh I totally agree. Customer service has gone right down the pan and lots of places I speak to still have the "please bear with us, we're working from home because Covid". 🙄

Yes my insurance company also does that. What's that about?

And the message says "your call is important to us"
Is it fk

Totally agree. I've moved house twice this year and have spent an obscene amount of time dealing with utilities providers and similar.

Virgin Media are by far the worst. How anyone who can't use their phone easily at work gets anything done with them I do not know. They ask you to use Whatsapp, tell you it's not an immediate response service, ask you for all your account details, keep you waiting for hours, then when you don't respond within five minutes when they finally get round to answering, cut you off and you have to go through the whole rigmarole again. If you accidentally ask to speak to the wrong team (e.g. if you're moving house somewhere where they don't cover and select 'leavers' rather than 'movers'), you have to wait another five hours to get through to someone at the new team. Then when they've taken all your details and finally confirmed they're the right person to deal with your question, they tell you they're going off for their lunch break. When people complain about this on Twitter, Virgin imply they're all terrible slavedrivers who don't want their staff to have lunch. No - I just want a company set up so I don't have to wait another hour after already waiting five because there's no-one who can cover a colleague's lunch break.

The 'bear with us because of covid' messages are a joke. It began two years ago, you're telling me you haven't had any time/thought to adapt since then, maybe hire more people? Does my head in.

Its an absolute nightmare... I sympathise. Trying to do the simplest of tasks now involves 3 unacknowledged emails, a phone call that includes a 35 minute wait and either cuts out or goes nowhere, a chat with a robot and another email before you get any sort of help from an actual human who is willing to help 😳
I recently moved country and for the past 6 months my life has been day in, day out, admin phone calls/emails/robot chats. Everything takes at least 2 attempts because nobody seems to do anything right the first time. Its completely exhausting. I actually fear checking my emails nowadays because its usually something else I need to spend 10 hours sorting 😵‍💫

I totally understand where you are coming from. I actually said to a woman yesterday on the phone that it was talking to a robot. She did not listen to what I said and instead just continued with her script. Awful.

Things were much easier when you could go and see an actual person e.g. go to the gas showroom. I still go to the bank branch if I have any complex issues. It takes me less time to travel there and sort something out, than to be on hold for ages and have someone who does not resolve the issue.

like talking to a robot

It's so frustrating. We moved earlier this year and it took weeks to get address changes, insurance, utilities sorted. The absolute hassle we had with EDF was utterly unbelievable. There seems to be no room for common sense, call centre staff are either useless or hamstrung by procedure, and the waiting times on phone calls are beyond ridiculous.

I've actually found DWP staff the quickest to resolve issues.

Currently psyching myself up for another call to P & O. Each time they agree they owe us a refund (THEY cancelled our ferry). But it never arrives!

You are not wrong OP, most 'customer service' is appallingly bad. I cannot count the hours I've spent in the last few months trying to get repairs sorted in our rented house (should be the agent doing it but they're useless twats as well), trying to get a refund for faulty product, chasing up estate agents and solicitors re the house we're buying, sorting out incorrect bills, etc etc. Tried to call Barclaycard yesterday, gave up both times after 30 minutes wait. Tried again today, same. Website says 'use our app' to contact them - no thanks, would take even more time typing out every fecking detail on my phone keyboard. No email address, but you can write them a letter .... WTF?
Don't forget to spend another minute giving all of them a bad review on Trustpilot etc though, I don't begrudge that time.

Sign of times, I feel this is done to exhaust people to not complain and just accept. Social services where like this when my DH was fighting to see his child for 5 years. It's like you are sent on a merry go round.

I try to do as much as possible via apps of emails now as I can't be arsed with people.

JD owed me some money and every time I wrote in literally a new person responded, in the end I had approx 25 people's responses all asking me to pass data protection each and every time I asked for an update.

You are probably suffering with low mood and depression. I swear my marriage has been held on by a thread since my sons were teens. It is getting better now the eldest is 17 however the other one can set off blazing rows, I'm the referee and peace maker all the time.

We are so busy trying to meet others needs at times being the family glue we neglect ourselves, whereas before we would relish in a to do list and getting stuck in, now it's just a heavy burden as you're just spent from the teenager and marriage issues.

It does pass, but before you let things build up and get worse picture how many things will need doing if you leave it all. Just aim to
Do 1-2 things per day. Don't give yourself too much but enough to tick over and not spiral
Out of control.

Hope things get better x

Even worse now trading standards seems to be non existent? Where or who does anyone realistically go to for a resolution?

My sister phoning for a car insurance quote from the firm she has used forever. In the middle of the phone call, the woman at the other end excuses herself while she sorts out her dog. My sister is left on hold for 5 minutes. The perils of dealing with someone who is working from home. I wonder if her company knows about the dog breaks

@Teddletoddle That surprises me. Call centre workers are monitored on number of calls, length of calls, etc. So she will be very quickly sacked.

Nope. I spent 49 mins on the phone to HMRC yesterday to get them to correct an error they had made which affects my tax! The guy was very nice but wasn’t certain whatever he had done had fixed the issue and said to call back if I keep on getting letters saying I owe tax. I was like thanks a lot - that’ll be another 46 mins on the phone if so. Harumph.

@Fluffruff I had the same with HMRC! Had a letter saying I owed tax that had been paid. On first call got told they needed to know account number payment had been made into. I had to get back to my bank to get that and then ring HMRC again, and the woman I spoke to said she did not need that information. She said too she thought she had sorted the issue out, but to ring back if I get another letter.
The issue seems to be a total lack of training. They know how to deal with very basic enquiries and nothing else.

Yep. Absolutely agree OP it's a nightmare. I have tinnitus. One thing you could do is put the phone on speaker when the hold music is going. Then put it in the room you're working in and get on with something else. My handsets have volume control luckily.
I once stayed on hold for over two hours to Scottish and Southern Electric and basically cleaned the top floor of my house and prepped dinner for two days in the same time period. It is utterly and completely exhausting. SSE have never ever sorted anything.
I completely understand.