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Troubled relative of former owner bothering us at home

17 replies

TeddyTonks · 11/09/2022 21:06

A couple of times now (most recently tonight), a 50-something woman has come to the door demanding entrance to our house and/or information regarding the previous owners including a forwarding address. We know the previous owners name but not address - she is a 60-something widower so would 100% not be comfortable giving any information that allows this person to trace her.

The woman who calls is clearly under the influence of drink/drugs, is unkempt, extremely skinny and seems in need of help. However she is also verbally aggressive, unpredictable and in some ways a bit frightening. Luckily so far DH has been in every time she's called and has dealt with her, however I am concerned a out her calling when I'm alone as we have 3 young DC, including a toddler and a newborn so feel somewhat vulnerable. We've lived her over 4 years now.

The first time it happened we phoned 101, more for concern for her well being and they sent someone out to have a scout round for her (no idea of they found her). Recently 101 have no interest, just tell us to log it online, which I guess is understandable, from a police perspective it is mild verbal aggression so obviously they don't want to commit resources to it.

Tbh I do feel sorry for her but equally I just want her to stop knocking on the fucking door and scaring me and DC. Any one got any tips for dealing with this please? She is incredibly escalatory and my mild mannered DH has elicited some very colourful responses by suggesting solutions such as looking up the previous owner (who she claims is a relative) on Facebook or the electoral roll 😩

OP posts:
myextraordinarylife · 11/09/2022 21:35

If you have a video doorbell, don't answer the door to her. She may kick up a fuss outside your house, but you may find that your neighbours report it as well as you which might help.

dudsville · 11/09/2022 21:39

Poor woman, but yes i would not like this either. I don't know what you can do, but the pp recommending the ring doorbell sounds good!

Castaspell · 11/09/2022 21:41

You definitely need to invest in a video doorbell asap. Keep a log of all encounters for reporting her again if she continues to trouble you.

Stichintime · 11/09/2022 21:43

Use a spyhole and don't answer the door?

Inklingpot · 11/09/2022 21:44

Call the police on 999.

She is aggressive, threatening and possibly under the influence as well as having MH issues. You could not be expected to deal with her and you can’t rely on neighbours to report it if she returns.

escapingthecity · 11/09/2022 21:46

Could you get your solicitor to write to the former owner's solicitor to inform them about this?

Pixiedust1234 · 11/09/2022 21:49

If you are on your own, don't open the door but call the police is she starts acting aggressive (she might just go if nobody answers)

However your dh needs to be firmer and not get into conversations or giving solutions now. Just say you have no idea where previous owner is, and you never will. Stop coming round. Goodbye (shut door). Rinse and repeat.

Craftybodger · 11/09/2022 21:55

Keep a log and register each visit with 101.

Also perhaps ask for her address - suggest you can pass it on. Then you can get a restraining order if she gets nasty, but a Ring doorbell would be easier.

TeddyTonks · 11/09/2022 22:04

However your dh needs to be firmer and not get into conversations or giving solutions now totally agree with this- was listening to DH waffling on about Facebook and thinking 'WTF?'... he is far too nice! Wanted to go and close the door but had two children attached to me at the time 🤦🏼‍♀️

We do have a ring doorbell, just need to be better at keeping it charged

OP posts:
loseridiot · 11/09/2022 22:04

I wouldn't answer the door if it continues as no good is or can come of it. You don't know this lady and what relationship she had, if any with the previous owner. The previous owner would have given her new address if she wanted to keep in touch. She clearly hasn't or may have even moved because of this lady. You don't know what's gone on.

Your DH has made reasonable suggestions to be met with abuse. No need to engage further. If she keeps knocking the door I would call the police every time. It might be low level but you don't deserve this and if she's that aggressive to your DH she could be worse with you.

Aquamarine1029 · 11/09/2022 22:06

Why would you open the door to this person again, knowing she's trouble?

Mabelstearooms · 11/09/2022 22:11

Why is your husband even opening the door?!

Georgeskitchen · 11/09/2022 22:16

Call 999 and tell them you have young children and you are being threatened in your own home

TeddyTonks · 11/09/2022 22:31

He's opening the door on auto pilot I think. There are several months between each visit so it is unexpected when she comes, so he just opens the door expecting it to be a delivery driver or a neighbour I think.

OP posts:
loseridiot · 11/09/2022 22:38

That's understandable if it's that infrequent. I echo using your Ring doorbell and using the spyhole. Better not to engage with her. It'll just encourage her to come back when she knows somebody answers.

VictoriaConcordiaCrescit · 11/09/2022 22:47

Hose pipe?

TeddyTonks · 11/09/2022 22:48

VictoriaConcordiaCrescit · 11/09/2022 22:47

Hose pipe?

🤣

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