Things I'm embarrassed to have realised so late in life...

[OrangeFlowersAreLovely]

Those ID necklaces? I had absolutely never heard of the word "lanyard" until around 3 years ago. All my friend's children learnt this way before I did. If you had told me "Lanyard" was a European city - I'd have believed you.

That little press send arrow in the top right hand corner? It only occurred to me in my mid 30s that it is in fact a paper aeroplane. I just thought it was a dodgy triangle.

I was absolutely stunned to find out the woman who plays Amanda in Motherland is not Catherine Tate.

Any confessions to console me I'm not the only one failing at life?! 😃

I’m not far from the ground we often get the road parked up on match days. Near what used to be the White Horse.

I genuinely thought, until I was in the third trimester with my first child, that the opening of your vagina dilated to 10cm. I still laugh at myself now, such an interesting visual too 🤣.

See username. Glad it's not just me though

I was 32 when I discovered that a stork is a real animal and not a mythical baby bringer.

That year I also found out the reindeer are not carnivorous.

That Onaggregate was a football team

Reindeer exist 😅 and they are vicious, not very friendly at all. And the hair is worse than cat hair to get off your clothes.

I'm howling at these. I've recently realized that the flowers you blow and 'tell the time' are actually dried dandelions. I actually never touch dandelions because I heard as a kid that they make you piss the bed! 😂

Some of them now do have lights in them, they're solar-powered LEDs.

Did you know that the rubber bit on the cats eye is so that they're cleaned by passing traffic driving over them, pushing them down and wiping the lens?

Bloody hell, I didn’t know that either!!!
my two were particularly prone to an exploding poo after 2-3 days of constipation. I wish I’d known that🙈🙈🙈

The first time I went there I was convinced I was on the opposite island to the one I was actually one. You'd have through having travelled halfway round the world I'd have bothered to find out.

It isn't, but Pontypridd is

We have a stork close to us, a huge nest on the top of a roof. Huge! It just sits there and watches.

They are also not nuts but legumes

I had no idea that narwhals were real until I read this thread. Every day is a school day!

@Dou8hnuts yes, I can imagine it does get busy round there! We’re 10 mins in the opposite direction; past Crookes.

Oh 😂

Apologies of someone has already mentioned this but that character in Dukes of Hazzard (top program BTW, loved it then) was called Enos, a Biblical name, not Aeneas. (cf. Wikipedia)
Having grown up in the southern US (take a guess from my username), I agree that a Classical (Greek/Roman) name is totally reasonable but they were pretty rednecky so the Bible was their go-to book. Additionally, as a Classics major (BA Tulane Greek, Latin, minor in French) and Latin teacher in both US and UK, I can also report that in the US it's nearly always pronounced Uh nee' us. Enn' nee us is a British pronunciation. In Caesar's (properly pronounced Kiser) day, it would have been more like Eye nay' oos.

When I first joined mumsnet I thought STBXH was ‘shoot the bastard ex husband’

This thread is very humbling.

9 out of 10 posts I am pissing myself with laughter wondering “how did people not know?!?”

and then 10th post is “wait ….what?!”

So is that why peanut packets say ‘may contain nuts’?

I always thought, what do you mean ‘may’? I hope they do, otherwise what else is going to be in the packet?

It’s not?

It so should be 😂

Literally thought they were as mythical as Santa!

I used to think that women were now allowed the vote and therefore were emaciated. A friend kindly told me that meant women are very thin and underfed, and what I actually meant was they are emancipated. Whoops!

@Dou8hnuts & @NCFT0922 Wincobank!