Would it turn you off if a man was a virgin in his 30s

[Brian31]

So i've just turned 31 and have never had a girlfriend before, I've also never had sex or even kissed a woman before but I just feel so far behind. I dont really have many friends but all of them are in relationships, getting married, having kids etc and same goes for all my work collegues.

Im more quiet and introverted, Possibly on the autism spectrum but even around women that i like im a bit shy. I have tried approaching women at pubs but never works out or most of the time they have boyfriends, I've tried the dating apps but zero luck.

Im not ugly or anything, I take very good care of my appearance, tall, I have a good paying job and have nearly brought my own house but I never knew how to talk to women.

I also really want my own kids and its always been a dream of mine to experience fatherhood. I did remember writing about this on reddit but it was mostly men telling me to get a prostitute or to go over to asia and use my money/citizenship to get a foriegn bride (I dont want to support trafficking)

I suppose that I could look for a FWB to get that out of my system but I dont really have the social skills to get one, you also have to remember that there are alot more men looking for Casual sex than women.

To be honest, yes it would put me off.

A close, lovely, gorgeous female friend of mine (35) is currently bewailing that there are no single men in their 30s... clearly she is wrong!

Not at all. I was my husbands first, we met when he was 29. He has no luck with women previously as sounds a bit like yourself, possibly on the autistic spectrum. 14 years later we are married with our 4th child on the way and I thank my lucky stars for him every day, he is the most selfless, kindest man in the world.

Hang in there- there's someone out there for every one! You'll find her when you least expect it!

Nah it wouldn’t put me off.

It wouldn't put me off.

Have you posted about this twice before?

Ok I’m old now and it may be the old fashioned way, but I would say join as many clubs and activities as you can, like a book club or Walking/hiking clubs, a choir ( mixed of course ) drama groups, make a wide variety of new friends, don’t over think it, just make friends first.

There are plenty of ladies who will like the fact you have no baggage and are genuine and serious about a long term relationship . There will be someone out there, probably when you are least looking that will just click with you.

you sound lovely and I'm sure a lady will be lucky to have you, often love comes when we are least expecting it.

I feel that meeting someone in the pub has got a bit outdated. Very much the norm to meet someone on a night out years ago but not so much now.

maybe join a club, start a new hobby? You might meet someone with similar interests!

you say you've tried online dating but what sites did you try? A paid site probably better as people who pay to join are probably more willing to find the one.

and no you being a virgin wouldn't put me off!

I'm a virgin in his fifties OP but don't let me put you off. You have received some very encouraging responses on this thread so I am confident you will find your way.

I had no intention of killing this thread. Please continue with your advice to our OP.

Brian31 you sound like my son! He's 26 and never been in a relationship. He's tall, good looking, keeps himself in shape, just like you, but really struggles with talking to women. He doesn't just want to sleep with someone - he wants the relationship. I'm afraid I can't offer any suggestions, just wanted to let you know that you aren't the only one! xx

knackeredagain
Dateig sites are garbage especially after being on them.the last years..
Your advice doesn't carry accuracy..
Most won't even talk on date sites the ones that do will just disappear after a few days or weeks and u say sum unsucceful dates, the key is sum, however ya left out possibly every 1st date could be the last..for some it don't matter how ya approach, what ya say, how ya speak pistive actions. , everything right. Etc, and no matter what still can't get one..I would know at almost 40...
Look women cam get who ever whenever wherever and everywhere,,,some guys can't no matter how much effort is put forth..ya ever heard of anyone bein turned down by even a prostitute?,,ya have now

It would put me off, yes. I not long ago ended a relationship with a man who admitted that he lost his virginity age 30 and had never had a relationship before then at all. He’s 51 now. It wasn’t the only reason I ended it of course but I found him prudish about sex, too inexperienced in bed for my taste and not easy company in general as he’s not used to being in varying intimate relationships with women for a huge chunk of his early adulthood ….and it really showed. Never again!