Calling the wise minds of MN! Looking for a poem/reading for wedding - ideally 'Northern' or a bit funny/daft

[piratehooker]

Morning all!

I'm hoping to mine your minds! I'm getting married in 3 weeks, a small 'do with my Lancashire-born half of the family and his London-born half together. His family are Catholic, so are having his Aunt give a traditional biblical reading. On our side, I am wanting my lovely Godma to give a more 'us' reading - a bit daft, a bit light hearted. I had envisioned something from someone witty like John Cooper Clarke or Pam Ayres, but I can only really find one 'love' poem from each (I Wanna Be Your Vacuum Cleaner & Yes I'll Marry You My Dear), and neither seem to be quite right. Do any avid readers/poetry lovers have any suggestions?

I do have a back up plan, lyrics to a song I think is quite apt. But I struggle to read it out loud without going into a sing-song/dodgy karaoke style rendition, as does me Godma!

Something from the Liverpool poets? I can only remember one line from one poem but it was "frilly pink nightdress, still slightly warm.''
Try Looking at Adrian Henri's poems.

What about Valentine by Wendy Cope?

It starts:

"My heart has made its mind up
And I'm afraid it's you"

I really like it. It's a bit short though.

John Cooper Clarke "I wanna be yours". It's on Spotify as he's a performance poet.

Tell more about the song choice lights will guuuuuiiiiiiidddde you home, and ignnnnnniiiiiite your bones

. Marriage – Anon

Marriage is about giving and taking
And forging and forsaking
Kissing and loving and pushing and shoving
Caring and sharing and screaming and swearing

About being together whatever the weather
About being driven to the end of your tether
About sweetness and kindness
And wisdom and blindness

It’s about being strong when you’re feeling quite weak
It’s about saying nothing when you’re dying to speak
It’s about being wrong when you know you are right
It’s about giving in, before there’s a fight
It’s about you two living as cheaply as one
(you can give us a call if you know how that’s done!)

Never heeding advice that was always well meant
Never counting the cost until it’s all spent
And for you two today it’s about to begin
And for all that the two of you had to put in
Some days filled with joy, and some days with sadness
Too late you’ll discover that marriage is madness.

Maybe "Saga Love" - it starts "Love me when I'm old and shocking". Bea Rawlinson, I think.

Simon Armitage - Let me put it this way

A lovely Love Story by Edward Monkton

I rely on you by Hovis Presley

When I’m. Older I will wear purple

I did my own wedding reading and chose “The Vow” by Wendy Cope (I think it’s called). Starts with “I cannot always promise to be patient” or similar.

bloody good poem!

These are wonderful, thank you wise ones! Will have a proper read through again with less bleary eyes in an hour or so.

Also, thanks to SamBekettslastleap for getting that version of Fix You in me head!

I had this. Love it.

Some great ideas!

This is the poem that Samuel Laycock read at the wedding of his own daughter. It was while he was awaiting her birth, that he wrote arguably his best poem ‘Thar’art welcome, Bonny brid’

Two year' sin' tha sought my acquaintance,
^^
An' admired oather me or mi song;
At least tha pretended to do so;
^^
But aw saw throo thi game ole along.
We had eawr nice walks in a mornin',
^^
An' mi company then wur o reet;
But there's one little matter aw noticed,
^^
Thi een wur on th' brid-cage at neet!

Neaw, it's pleasant to ha' one's good wishes,
^^
An' these yo'll tak' with yo' awm sure;
An' what is there moor to feel preawd on
^^
Than a hearty "God bless yo'!" fro' th' poor.
A lovin' an' good mother's blessin'
^^
Is o' far greater value nor gowd;
Yo' may find human nature i'th' crescent,
^^
But yo'll find a deol moor on't i' th' fowd!