Husband obsessed with getting new job

[BritishDesiGirl]

Good morning

My husband has become obsessed with getting a job within his company. It is a supervisor role and he is doing lots of overtime and helping out as much as possible.

This includes today with working overtime again. The one day l needed him to actually be home so l can do some things which l keep putting off.

I am a SAHM and l feel suffocated from being with our child 24/7. I feel like l'm being torn apart, l have no time to do anything for myself. Even something as mundane as going to get fitted for new bras is a task, my daughter won't sit in her pram.

I told him l want to go back to work and he said he would leave his job as he doesn't want someone else looking after our baby. I would be responsible for everything.

When l tell h l need time away from our child, he refuses, saying that my daughter will not cope being away from me. Even the doctor has recommended time to myself.

He doesn't understand that l am so resentful of him for having the opportunity to see other people, to have the structure of a job. I miss that.

I don't know what to do.

He won’t give up his job.

guaranteed if you went back to work, the baby would be with a nursery or childminder

@BritishDesiGirl you need to tell him that his hours aren’t family friendly if you have a young dc and that you never have time to be “you” unlike him. How old is your Dd? You could put her in nursery part-time and work part-time until she starts school. This sounds like something that would make you feel happier 😊

Go back to part time if possible and find a nice childminder for your baby.

Just organise it yourself. It’ll benefit your child as well as you!

Go back to work if you're ready.

Can you not put your child in nursery one day a week so you can get things done. He will have Trump it. Don't take no for an answer. All children need socialising.

Not Trump it ffs lump it.

This isn’t about him working so much, if he wants a promotion and it’s short term fine imo. Controlling you however and guilt tripping you about your child is wrong and he woulds like bastard

Sounds like

Get a job , he should be supporting you in whatever you do , whether it's needing some time to yourself or going back to work.

Just get a PT job. Even if every single penny of your wages goes on a childminder, it will be worth it for you and will do your daughter no harm. You then have a relationship with the childminder, so could also pay her when you need to do stuff for yourself.

Also, how likely is it that he'll actually give up his job if you start work? He's already avoiding his family as much as possible!

He's not going to quit his job, call his bluff.
Get a job and use a childminder/nursery.
Just make sure you sit down with him and have a blunt and honest conversation about home life when you go to work (housework, mental load, pick up
/drop off, money etc)

If the entries fincaial burden is on him then YABU he will be striving to secure his families security as it all rests on his shoulders.

He is trying to better your financial situation. Unfortunately in this capitalist society that means doing all this and more.

This is your part in bettering your lives

What? If the OP wants or needs to go back to work she should. Then the burdens can be shared.
No one's "part" is being a SAHM. Everyone has to agree that. It's not her H's job to decide unilaterally.

Then do it. Just get it done.