I’m going thru a realisation of what my relationship actually is so I don’t think I’m going to make sense. I’ve been with my OH for 30-yrs.
Tonight me and the OH talking about some of the really challenging areas in his family’s past. I said that these unresolved issues are playing out on our relationship now and he absolutely won’t accept this. An example is his mum was extremely ungracious when there was a family loss- and we have often talked about his mums inability to talk on an emotional level - my feeling is that I’m now realising that it means that he in turn now sees talking about emotion as a weakness. And it’s true, OH is emotionally unavailable.
So then, the conversation got manipulated and of course I become the problem, not supporting him enough, looking to pick holes in his family, not being helpful. I have sweet fa to do with hiS family they are toxic.
Quite clear for me that from tonight my emotional needs will never be met. It kind of explains why he says he loves me but there is really no real emotional connection - it’s all now become transactional. He wants the stability I offer thru my wages, enjoys the living standard. But if pushed to work for it himself - then it’s not worth it for him.
I’m gutted.