Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

To much expectation, What have you done today?

30 replies

coffeetofunction · 10/09/2022 17:08

I'm feeling a bit guilty, which I think is because of an unrealistic expectation that I feel has been put on modern day parents. Basically I've done nothing "special" with my 8yo today.

We had a relaxed morning involving TV and YouTube, then a wandered round a few shops before half an hour in the park. Then some lunch and this afternoon I've done jobs round the house and DD has laid on the sofa watching videos, played with the dogs and done some housework.

I feel like we've wasted the day and I should have done more but I'm exhausted and money is tight.

When I was 8 weekends involved, shopping, going to the pub, possibly seeing family and TV. So why do I feel like there's so much more expectations now?

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 10/09/2022 17:12

I think the expectation comes from social media.

You absolutely don't need to be doing something 'special' with your DC every weekend. It does sound like a lot of screen time, but as long as that's not every weekend then it's fine. I think you want to avoid the situation where she's either being entertained by you with special activities or watching TV, she should have other interests that she can do herself. Being bored occasionally is absolutely essential imo.

QforCucumber · 10/09/2022 17:12

Ds’s are 6 and 2, we woke up at 7 - had pancakes for breakfast. Went for swimming and then came home and haven’t left the house since. They had toad in the hole for dinner and watched all 3 cars movies.

I feel absolutely 0 pressure to have done anything else with them.

blackheartsgirl · 10/09/2022 17:12

It’s social media I think. Whether you are on it or not, it seems to have seeped into society that kids need constant activities and stimulation in order to prove you are a good parent. It’s bullshit.

im guilty of it myself, but then I remember that if we went out and did nice things all the time then we’d have nothing to look forward to.

your relaxing day sounds nice. Kids need the down time.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Bickles · 10/09/2022 17:13

Went and had my Covid booster with my Dad.
DH took DS10 to his touch typing lesson.
Had lunch.
I went for a nap because I felt exhausted. DH took DS out with his bike for an hour.
DS played out while DH watched the re run of the King thing (why?).
I had a bath.
We might watch a film.
Really boring weekend but we have been on holiday or away every weekend this summer and need some downtime at home.

PollyEsther · 10/09/2022 17:17

It's social media, OP. People show off what they're up to, but realistically the vast majority of people do not get up to expensive things every weekend.

DD (8) had a party today, so she went to that. The rest of the day has been spent playing minecraft and whining.

DS (11) went out with DH for a treat, but that's because it's his birthday on Monday and he isn't having a party!

Tomorrow we're just doing homework, cooking, cleaning etc. Might pop for a swim, but that's because we have a gym membership so it doesn't cost us anything we haven't already spent.

carefullycourageous · 10/09/2022 17:24

It would not be very interesting if you never did anything more than that, but for an ordinary weekend day I think that is just fine.

What matters is are you happy today? We often have lovely days doing unexceptional stuff - I think we are super lucky that is the case.

Life is not a performance.

MinnieMountain · 10/09/2022 17:25

Our 8yo is with MIL for the day. Tomorrow we will be going swimming and possibly Pizza Express afterwards. Other than that he’ll be playing, gaming and we’ll all play cards together.
DS likes being at home, so so long as he’s been out once to do something we’re quite relaxed.

DialsMavis · 10/09/2022 17:26

Went to park run then spent the entire day cleaning filthy house and having a massive sort out for charity shop (5 bin bags!). Will pop to shop shortly to grab some treats then cook an easy dinner and chill out.

Tomorrow my mum is coming for brunch then going shopping for stuff that its become apparent DD needs (just started secondary school), then homework, then dinner.

We have had a really busy summer and I am relishing the dull normality tbh

EasilyAmused · 10/09/2022 17:29

DC are 2 and 6 months.

Today we -

Had breakfast
Went to Lidl & B&M
Came home and DC2 went for a nap whilst DC1 played in the ballpit
Had lunch
DC1 went for a nap
DH and I had a coffee in the garden
Both DCs woke
DC1 helped DH wash the car whilst I fed, changed and played with DC2
DH and DC1 are now building a mud kitchen outside whilst I try and get DC2 down for another nap

We'll be having our tea soon then it'll be TV time before bath and bed for the DC and more TV time for DH and I.

That's fairly standard Saturday for us.

Kite22 · 10/09/2022 18:18

Today being heritage day was a great day to go out for something interesting and unusual without it costing you anything, but ,that aside most weekends, there is nothing wrong with an 8 year old pottering about not doing much on a Saturday.

theoldhasgone · 10/09/2022 18:20

I stayed in bed all day, caught up on a bit of admin, got my DH to do jobs and take dd out. I just need it sometimes.

bloomflower · 10/09/2022 18:24

taken DC to a class and back
in the interim shopped for some tech and took it home on bus before going out again to pick up
went home with DC, made lunch
set up said tech
researched online
made dinner
mostly faffing since then! I feel I have wasted most of the day but I was a bit productive earlier.

Applebark · 10/09/2022 18:45

Nipped to the corner shop this morning to drop off a parcel and pick up some milk. Watched some TV, read my book for a bit. Folded some washing, deadhead the flowers made some dinner now it's time for more tv.

Don't need to be out and about doing stuff all the time. Pottering or lounging at home is perfectly acceptable for downtime.

Loginmystery · 10/09/2022 18:46

You’ve done a lot more than me. I’m full of guilt but no energy

Timeforabiscuit · 10/09/2022 18:52

We went to the tip.

Dd thought it was epic.

TheDressinggownofdoom · 10/09/2022 18:52

People are blaming social media and people posting their wonderful family days out. But I also think stuff like MN doesn't help. It's full of people who do 5 million extra curricular activities with DC on the weekend and then wonder why everyone is exhausted.

We have D&V in our house. So I've spent most of the day on the toilet, with my head down the toilet or cleaning up someone else's sick from the living room floor. (Because I have a DS who seems incapable of being sick in the toilet). I have been counting down the hours until DH got home from work so I could crawl back into bed. Where I am currently.

youagainomg · 10/09/2022 18:54

My children haven't even got dressed today and I've spent most of the day doing chores. We are off swimming and out for dinner tomorrow.

Suzi888 · 10/09/2022 18:56

We got up, at breakfast.
DH has gone into the garden to hang out the two loads of washing I’ve done and take in all the garden furniture.

I vacuumed, made beds, washed up and ironed.
Took DD dog walking and got a cheeky McDonald’s. She then started coughing so we’ve just been watching tv since about 2pm. ☹️

A normal weekend would involve going out with my DM and DD. Possibly the cinema, park, beach.

riotlady · 10/09/2022 19:01

Sounds like a perfectly lovely normal day! I took DD to her new ballet class this morning then dropped her home with DH. I went for lunch and shopping with my sister while they played with (it appears) every single toy in the house. Then my friend popped round for half an hour with her baby, who my DD (4 and desperate for
a sibling) adores. Since then we’ve just been pottering and playing. Had tea and now she’s watching Cocomelon while I mumsnet.

lljkk · 10/09/2022 19:05

If you had a nice day together then you did great.

mackthepony · 10/09/2022 19:05

It's fine, it really is.

Just be

TheYearOfSmallThings · 10/09/2022 19:07

We watched several episodes of Wipeout this morning, then went to a free McDonald's football session with one of DS's friends. Then we all went to the park until the boys begging for Happy Meals wore us down, so we went to a McDonald's with a soft play and screens in it, and they ran amok while the adults drank McCoffees. Then we came home and watched Dr Doolittle 2. Now I am watching Little Women when I should be cooking dinner.

Maybe tomorrow we will do better (probably not).

tickticksnooze · 10/09/2022 19:08

What's special about today that you should have done something special?

Doesn't the definition of special require it to be something occasional or unusual? If you did "special" stuff every Saturday it would just be your normal not special.

I think the problem is the story you're telling yourself in your head, not other people or social media.

Pigsinmuck · 10/09/2022 19:10

We went into town this morning and then pottered about the house. Kids have played in the garden and that’s all. Tomorrow will be similar.

Its been the first full week back at school and they needed some down time this weekend.

Iwantyourmidnights · 10/09/2022 19:11

Sounds like a lovely normal weekend to me. Today DH got up with the baby and let me sleep in, then he went to work for a couple of hours and I took the kids to soft play. DH came to join us and we went to the supermarket, then home for chores (for us) and minecraft (for DD8) while the baby had his nap. Then we all had dinner and went for half an hour on the park. Now me, DH and DD are snuggled up with popcorn watching a film and the baby is in bed. Most of our weekends are similar tbh.

Swipe left for the next trending thread