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How come I find everyday things so hard to do for such arbitrary reasons?

13 replies

martinsmoneysaver · 10/09/2022 11:54

I need to put the shopping away.

So I go to the kitchen cupboard and start rearranging all of the cupboards before I can put the food away.

Then I see a bottle of calpol so take that upstairs to the medicine cabinet.

There are towels on the floor, I take them to the washing basket.

then I fold and put away the towels on my floor in My bedroom that I started folding 3 days ago
I take them to the airing cupboard.

See the sheets, change the bedding.

Start a wash with the old bedding, think the cushion covers could do with a wash so head down to the living room and think forget this. I just plump the cushions and turn them to face the least dirty way, cover with throws and go to make a cup of tea after all my hard work.

Head to the kitchen and realise the cupboards are half empty all over the side, the shopping is still bagged on the floor, and I have to start all over again because I got distracted from my first task.

I can't be the only one, my house is always a mess even though I'm always on mumsnet tidying up.

I do it with dinner, always get distracted and end up ruining it or forgetting something.

I also have a million children that drop everything where they stand too. But I'm just as bad! I actively take things out, rearrange furniture and put it back, swap drawers around and make a mess! But I couldn't possibly put the washing away without moving My bed from the window to the wall... why!?

OP posts:
Codingand36 · 10/09/2022 11:55

Sounds like me. But I am ND x

TooMuchToDoTooLittleInclination · 10/09/2022 12:02

Watch some Dana K White YouTube videos. She'll have you sorted in no time!! (She was the same too)

martinsmoneysaver · 10/09/2022 12:11

I'll have a look I'm just glad I'm not the only one! 😳

OP posts:
Slushycuppa · 10/09/2022 12:12

You need to learn to compartmentalise things.

Chuckiegg · 10/09/2022 12:13

Oh me too. I'm a nightmare.

FloorWipes · 10/09/2022 12:15

i do this and I have adhd

Greydogs123 · 10/09/2022 12:16

I’m the same and actually have started to think I may be neurodiverse, possible ADD. When I do online tests or read about ADD I come out fairly sure that I have this. Funnily enough, being more aware is helping me actually try harder to focus on one task at a time. This might mean that I literally tell myself to go back and finish ‘X’ task before moving on.

FancyFucker · 10/09/2022 12:16

I always do a list even for the mundane of tasks
Cross off as I go
Takes a minute to write it all down
Complete one task thoroughly, cross it off and move to the next

martinsmoneysaver · 10/09/2022 12:29

How do you compartmentalise everything though?
And there are at least 200 000 tiny tasks to do. Never ending list. I have only ever felt fully free once before we went on holiday and I cleaned every room within an inch of its life and it was ready for me to come home.

always chasing that feeling

OP posts:
freckles20 · 10/09/2022 12:29

This is me.

I thought I was just chaotic and quirky.

Then my teenager was diagnosed as having adhd.

Then I realised that both he and I do things that I thought were 'normal' but in fact are not.

Then followed my own diagnosis of severe adhd- primarily inattentive (used to be called ADD). Suddenly so many things make sense.

Unfortunately this doesn't mean that I don't still struggle with this stuff. But I'm a million times kinder to myself about it, understand myself better, and have some effective tools and strategies in place too.

martinsmoneysaver · 10/09/2022 12:31

Add
possible. I suppose what are the other markers?

OP posts:
martinsmoneysaver · 10/09/2022 12:32

@freckles20 sorry what are the other markers you noticed for your daughter that applied to you?

OP posts:
freckles20 · 10/09/2022 13:11

martinsmoneysaver · 10/09/2022 12:32

@freckles20 sorry what are the other markers you noticed for your daughter that applied to you?

It was my son who was diagnosed 😊.

It was CAHMS who suggested he was assessed after his MH took a major downturn during lockdown.

We were incredibly lucky to be allocated a Camhs caseworker who noticed his inconsistent focus and felt his depression was a fairly typical ADHDers reaction to ongoing boredom (lockdown, couldn't see his friends, couldn't participate in hobbies, little exercise, few opportunities to grow independence, no school routine etc). He was also barely able to engage with online schooling which caused him huge anxiety and guilt. He genuinely wanted to learn but couldn't focus and began to get very upset about it.

Fast forward to the days before his adhd assessment and I spent several confusing hours completing the required forms.

Things that were included in the forms and assessment really really applied to me too, and I hadn't realised that they weren't typical of most people.

Before I list some of the ones that I can think of I should try to clarify that although many NT people may have similar traits or issues for time to time, the difference is that for a person with adhd these things tend to be fairly consistent and unrelenting and cause real difficulty in everyday life.

I should also say that not everyone with adhd is the same and some traits can actually become almost opposites- e.g. typically adhd causes issues with time blindness leading to lateness. However, some ADHDers may compensate for time blindness by being very meticulous about this and always being early or on time. Generally though this takes huge amounts of effort and is stressful- so unlike a NT person who only has to put a proportionate effort into being on time..

Inconsistent focus: difficulty staying on task; difficulty concentrating on anything not associated with a major personal interest; mind wandering at school, in meetings, during conversations; whilst reading; whilst watching TV.

Impatience: Tendency to struggle to wait turns, interrupt during conversations, finish other peoples sentences (or to want to and have to make major efforts not to) .

Difficultly staying on task, or completing tasks e.g. starts one task and begins another whilst forgetting about first task. Gets distracted and forgets to finish a task. Goes into a room and forgets why. Has many tabs open on browsers.

Poor short term memory.

Forgets meetings, key dates etc..

Poor executive function. Difficulty planning, prioritising.

Poor attention to detail.

Excessive procrastination- puts tasks off until the last moment.

Works better under pressure.

Time blindness. Poor sense of the passing of time. Poor time planning. Poor grasp of time and organisation.

Delayed sleep cycles- often not tired at night and may struggle to fall asleep.

Very busy brain, constant thoughts, brain rarely quiet.

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