Having a boy on my own and flooded with these worries…

[Omklp]

1. I won’t know how to raise them
2. they will always want their dad (he’s not engaging at all so unlikely he will be around)
3. we won’t be close like it would be with a girl
4. we won’t be able to have movie nights or hair nights or those sort of things that I’m more familiar with (I know not all girls like these things but I would feel confident about them if they did. Boys are less likely to enjoy that)
5. I don’t know boys spots like I do women’s
6. I don’t know how to decorate rooms for boys but with girls I would definitely have an idea

I am just worried he will look like my ex be like my ex and we will not be close and I won’t bond. I am so stressed and sad.

Also… huge huge huge worry is I feel I would love him properly if his dad was around. Why do I feel like that?!

Is this a joke?

Thanks @NC12345665 what a nasty comment when I’m clearly struggling

He will be half you and you will get to know him as he grows from a baby into a young man. Don't worry about it.

Here we go again! 🙄

If these worries are genuine then talking to someone in real life could help. If his father isn’t interested then there’s not really anything you can do to change that I’m afraid. As for the other stuff that seems very firmly gendered and probably something you can get your head around challenging your own views on(not sure what boy sports and girls sports are for example).

My boy is 13 now and very much enjoys face mask and movie night if that’s any consolation!

You’ll be fine, you wouldn’t necessarily understand a daughter anymore than a son they all throw in a curve ball and reveal themselves as their own people!

calm down, you’ll notice that there are lots of mums of sons around, you’ll learn as you need to. TBH that applies to every single baby.

Hang on is this a thing? I hate typing things only to end up with a bloody deletion message.

My 8 year old son is just as closer to me as my daughter and we are peas in a pod. He has a father my ex - we divorced before he turned one and it wasn’t an easy divorce. My ex was a bastard and ran me down at every opportunity and is a proper ‘Disney dad’ I was worried he would love his dad more then me.
My advice- keep things factually actually and make it about actions.
why isn’t my dad here - he chose to leave and get a divorce. You can’t force people to do things they want to do.
I love you and I’m here for you. always.
etc
only once my son said ‘I hate you I want daddy’ at which point I said ‘about to go to school’ fine get what you want and need and get in the car you can have what you have told me but it is one way. That was 4 years ago - never happened again.

m my son is a snuggly monkey and comes in for cuddles each night. He loves Horseriding like his sister and animals and dogs and maths - all like her.

recently he wanted to learn to fish - I haven’t got a clue sounds like hell on earth to me to sit on a river bank - but I brought a rod and found someone to teach him. He has football coaches and a male headteacher and her goes to cubs etc

you will be the best mum and dad as I sure as hell am! X

You’ll be fine my ds who is 8 has asked very vague things about his dad maybe 3 times he loves Lego and also Disney princess Lego it’s a learning curve having any child they do not behave the way you think most of the time one of my sons friends is a girl who is in to much more stereotypical boy things then any of the boys we know!

You're overthinking. It'll be your own child, not a random boy you're given to look after.

I really understand - I brought up my lovely DS on my own (he's 21 now) from when he was just two, and I had some of these fears and worries too.

I am really happy to confirm that it was FINE! When they're babies, it's all just the same, and as they get older you just learn 'stuff' along with them 😀.

DS had some (very short) periods where he asked about his dad, and I told him all of the good features that his dad had - didn't mention the bad bits! Also pointed out that families come in all shapes and sizes, and he was happy with that!

Got him into air cadets at 13, so he had some really good male re models (along with other family members).

We learnt together how to tie a tie and how to shave from the Internet 🤣.

I was worried that he'd be like his dad, but as I brought him up, he is MUCH more like me, and is brilliant, kind, thoughtful and all my own work! I would go back and do it all again in a heartbeat.

Congratulations - you are about to start on a wonderful adventure, and it will all be just fine 😀.

I only have boys (three) and they are a joy (mostly)
I have raised them by myself.
Anything I was worried about- and it was mostly linked to hygiene and some unique male problems I researched and asked my dad/ brother to help with.
I am now an expert on wrestling, football, rugby and a thousand other things not necessarily 'male' eg one loved Dora the explorer.
You will be fine :)

1. you'll work it out, trust me
2. no, they want a person who loves them, comforts them, feeds them, rocks them to sleep, bandages their knee.
3. nope - my ds and I couldn't be closer
4. You'll adapt. I cycle and practise karate with my ds. I also draw and cook with him. I draw the line at Minecraft 😊
5. spots are spots. So far I've explained spots, in-growing hairs, erections and nipples. I suspect later this year I teach him how to shave. Like I said, you adapt.
6. That's what PInterest is for. Something for you to work on together.

You'll be fine. Good luck xx.

Are you serious? You won't know how to decorate a boys room?????

Ok

Really none of these are actual worries. I actually found my son is easier to relate to than my daughter. Boys love movie nights and staying up late to do fun things (don’t know what a ‘hair night’ is, but I certainly haven’t done one with my dd and my mum never did one with me). All children you just ask them what they like and you do those things with them, decorate their room, buy them those sorts of clothes. My dd loves mountain biking and rock climbing (which I have absolutely no bloody idea about!) and the theme of her bedroom is ‘random junk she refuses to tidy up’. Really kids are all different and you won’t find a girl intrinsically more like you than a boy.

I have 3 sons and no daughters. But I do have a husband so it's not the same.

You don't give birth to a teenage boy with spots. You give birth to a tiny baby who needs their mum to hold them close and love them as much as they possibly can.

You will love that baby, I guarantee. And you will grow and learn together.

You're going to have a wonderful adventure x

I grew up in a ladies only household from age 10. I have a 15 yo ds & have been on my own since pregnant.

There's lots of material to read online about raising a son alone.

My son did ask for his dad, from very young I told him his dad wasn't ready to be a dad and that it wasn't Ds fault in any way. I also said I couldn't promise his dad would ever come back or be in his life but I always will be. Talk about different families even if there's only 2 it's still a family.

Boys do love snuggles and movie nights my son liked face masks when younger n posh bubble baths (more to encourage washing😂) when younger.

Communication and encouraging talking about feelings.

l have always been incredibly protective over my two sons, and more so so since their Dad died whilst they were still quite young. l come from a family of all girls and despite this forum claiming its a mans world l can assure you from my own experiance it isn't. Even before sons are born there seem so many women really disapointed and unsettled about the thought of raising a son. Boys seem at a disadvantage before even being born somehow. My sons are older now 17 and 21, and protective over me, its been a priverledge being able to watch them grow into the young men they are today. I raised them alongside millions of other lone parents doing it alone, you will find your way.

I have two sons and a daughter. No father.
Your son will show you who he is and what he loves. He’ll lead. You follow. All you have to do is love him, teach him, and give him room to be his own entity. Of course it’s now complex than that but the basics are pretty straightforward.
He’ll be nobody’s clone or mini me or ‘better version’. He will be entirely himself, his own person. And you’ll learn what he likes and needs in order to thrive.

When my son was very very small and diagnosed with autism, his dad, who was still around, asked, tears streaming down his face, “What are we gonna do?”
”Love him, is what we’re going to do,” was my answer.

And that’s about the size of it. Respect who your child is, help him with the tricky aspects of his character- we all have our parts that need a bit of tightening up and tweaking.
He may love monster trucks, he may wear his granny’s fake pearls (as my neighbour’s son did… he doesn’t now). Probably he’ll do neither. But he’ll be your son for life and through thick and thin and all the ups and downs, you’ll love the bones of him.
Box breathing like a Navy SEAL has gotten me through a lot of tight spots as a parent. 😁
Your love will be enough, OP. You’ll be more than ok. 💐

You'll be fine OP. Little boys aren't all a slugs and snails and puppy dogs tails you know. Your baby will be uniquely themselves. The sex is irrelevant.

I have 3 boys. They are so affectionate and loving. Ds1 would choose me over DH any day of the week. So would ds3 (although he is a baby but still - babies adore their mums!). You can do all the stuff you would do with girls. Thing is, society tells us boys like y and girls like z but when you have kids you'll see that they are all individuals and they like what they like and, very often, what you like! I have had pamper sessions with ds1 where we've painted our nails, done some skincare, put on tinted lip balm and some powder (he's only little so nothing too harsh in his skin). Equally, I take him to rugby every week and buy him dinosaurs and (try to) play Minecraft. And he loves a good snuggle session on the sofa with a film and popcorn! Ds2 is his own person - very independent, headstrong, brave. Yet his one of his favourite things is having big cuddles and kisses with me and DH - he's very affectionate. Don't go into it with preconceived notions. You may have the football mad, boisterous boy. Or you may have a gentle, sensitive boy who likes to do crafts and play dress up. Ultimately, it doesn't matter. You will love him fiercely and he will adore you! Children are honestly wonderful and it makes me sad when I see on here about mums not wanting boys - they are just as gorgeous and sweet and loving as girls. Don't be worried, be excited!

He is an individual.

My son is affectionate, loves movie nights, dressing up, hair, make up etc etc. He loves shopping, theatrics, singing and dancing, art and reading.
My daughter couldn’t give a hoot about her image or hair. She is a total scruff bag and likes being outdoors, biking, climbing, getting muddy and lives in joggers.

It really has nothing to do with their genitals, honestly.
Just enjoy watching him grow and develop his individuality.