Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

I feel sorry for the Cambridge children on the first day at school.

134 replies

Ewetoo · 09/09/2022 06:43

So insignificant I know but I can't help help feeling sad for George, Charlotte & Louis that their great grandmother passed away on the first day at Lambrook.
They obviously adored them & vice versa, it will be a very hard time for them & I hope the school will be very caring towards them. Kate was absolutely right to stay behind & be with her children.

OP posts:
Ewetoo · 09/09/2022 08:48

Softplayhooray · 09/09/2022 08:29

Sorry you feel sad but that's really not an ok thing to do on front of your kids. No wonder they were sad and upset too, seeing you like that, and also having to watch the coverage of her death with you, and probably being confused because they didn't know her but probably felt they had to be sufficiently sad in front of you to honour the occasion. Seems very unhealthy.

Really? In our house we prefer to express our feelings, our children are not afraid to show their sad emotions & neither are dh & I. It's a very sad event & I found it extremely touching as did many millions around the world! Suppressing feelings is very unhealthy. My dc's teachers have actually commented on their emotional maturity, I guess that comes from always having their feelings validated & vice versa... But thank you for your concern, I don't believe in suppressing feelings especially in my own house, my sanctuary. I would however hold it together in public I'm sure..

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 09/09/2022 08:50

CousinGregg · 09/09/2022 08:39

Why? Everyone will be treating them with kid gloves. Pleb children just have to get on with it and no one GAF.

Do "pleb children" have news of the death of a great grandmother splashed over the worldwide news?

WoodlandMummy · 09/09/2022 08:51

carefullycourageous · 09/09/2022 07:14

I think weeping since it started and your kids being 'really upset' suggest you need to dial it down a bit in your house and maybe read/watch less about it.

I couldn’t agree more. Ridiculous levels of hysteria 🙄

Thisbastardcomputer · 09/09/2022 08:54

Not even remotely similar but when my Grandad died, he was a major employer in the local town.

He died in 1970, on the way from the church to the cemetery, people lined the streets and took off their hats and bowed their heads, it was something I've never forgotten.

To me he was just my grandad and I was a bit surprised.

alrightfella · 09/09/2022 08:55

Also George has just moved up to 2nd in line for the throne something I am sure he will be aware of.

brookstar · 09/09/2022 08:56

She was their great Grannie, they won't have been close, they'll be fine. .

My 8 year old is very close to my nana (so his great nana).
We have no way of knowing how close they were.

LizzieSiddal · 09/09/2022 08:58

I hope the children are kept at home today. They’ve only been at that school for one day so will not know their teachers or other pupils very well, they need to be around people who know them very well. Plus the school can carry on with special assemblies, discussions etc without having to take into consideration the total children being there.

LizzieSiddal · 09/09/2022 08:58

*royal children.

Don'tknowwhichnametopick · 09/09/2022 09:02

@MargaretThursday your post made me emotional. What a lovely story.

theworldhas · 09/09/2022 09:05

@SoupDragon
Do "pleb children" have news of the death of a great grandmother splashed over the worldwide news?

It’s almost like this whole hereditary monarchy thing is a terrible idea. Diana, Andrew, Charles, Harry, Anne, Sarah etc are all testament to that but on and on it goes.

sidewayswalking · 09/09/2022 09:13

Really? In our house we prefer to express our feelings, our children are not afraid to show their sad emotions & neither are dh & I. It's a very sad event & I found it extremely touching as did many millions around the world! Suppressing feelings is very unhealthy. My dc's teachers have actually commented on their emotional maturity, I guess that comes from always having their feelings validated & vice versa... But thank you for your concern, I don't believe in suppressing feelings especially in my own house, my sanctuary. I would however hold it together in public I'm sure..

This almost suggests you care more about the public perception of you than the actual feelings of your own children. Expressing feelings is one thing but what you described is not a normal reaction and your children were almost certainly upset because you were, not because HM died.

1994girl · 09/09/2022 09:14

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 09/09/2022 08:23

Yes it will be sad for them. But it's no different to any other child losing their grandma.

That's just silly. When other peoples grandmas died, it's not all over the news and people talking about it. Of course it is different for them.

It's all over the news, social media etc etc. It's stupid.

GreyTS · 09/09/2022 09:14

I don't think anyone is suggesting you teach your children to suppress their emotions but there is a rather large gulf between learning how to express our feelings in a healthy and measured way and the emotional incontinence you seems to be displaying! I mean honestly, it's the queen, surely the last person who would approve of hysteria, what an example of a woman holding things together in the face of actual adversity

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 09/09/2022 09:15

Meltingsocks · 09/09/2022 07:02

She was their great Grannie, they won't have been close, they'll be fine.

Your children were likely picking up on your feelings. Mine were supremely uninterested

Not close? My D's was extremely close to his great grandmother.

SoupDragon · 09/09/2022 09:15

theworldhas · 09/09/2022 09:05

@SoupDragon
Do "pleb children" have news of the death of a great grandmother splashed over the worldwide news?

It’s almost like this whole hereditary monarchy thing is a terrible idea. Diana, Andrew, Charles, Harry, Anne, Sarah etc are all testament to that but on and on it goes.

that's a really long reach from my post. 😂

TooManyMoronsHere · 09/09/2022 09:20

Meltingsocks · 09/09/2022 07:02

She was their great Grannie, they won't have been close, they'll be fine.

Your children were likely picking up on your feelings. Mine were supremely uninterested

How do you know they weren't close?!

I didn't have grandparents my great Nan was my grandmother figure and we were extremely close, she shaped who I am as a person. I'd imagine given how cold Charles is and how Camilla isn't their blood Nan that on William's side of the family they were probably closest to the Queen than Charles.

ancientgran · 09/09/2022 09:21

MargaretThursday · 09/09/2022 07:04

I remember the day my Dd1's great grandma dies. She wa in reception and we'd told her the night before she was very ill, but it was still a shock to her when we had to tell her the next morning she had dies.
I took her in late and tearful and explained to her teacher who gave her a bit of sympathy and then said.
"you know it's a funny thing but I bought an old dressing up outfit my dd's too big for now because I thought you might like it. You can wear it today if you like."
It was such a sweet thing to do (she obviously had a box of such things for that sort of occasion) and so I left dd getting changed and feeling special.
She's just cleared out her cupboard (aged 21) and that dressing up outfit has gone back in the cupboard.

That's lovely. My GS came home from school when his great grandfather died and said his teacher had sent him to the office with a message or something and he knew it was because she wanted to tell the rest of the class to be nice to him because he was sad. Oh to be such a cynic at 8.

decafsoyaflatwhite · 09/09/2022 09:22

I don’t really understand the ‘she was only their great granny, they’ll be fine/won’t have been close, etc’ comments. Surely everyone knows that it’s how emotionally close to someone you are that affects you when they die, not how close they are as a blood relative?

My partner’s grandmother passed away recently. His two children, if I’m honest, were really not that bothered. The older one was a bit upset, but the younger one was fairly disinterested. They weren’t close. However the younger one gets on brilliantly with my grandmother (so her step great-grandmother!) and I genuinely think she will be very upset when she dies.

I thought the same thing as you, OP. Starting a new school can be a big thing for children, I wouldn’t want to have to pick them up after school and tell them that their granny had died
on their first day.

PenguinMan · 09/09/2022 09:23

She was their great Grannie, they won't have been close, they'll be fine.

That’s so sad you children weren’t close to their great granny.

Mine was incredibly close and was devastated when she died as she was the head of the family and held us all together.

Ewetoo · 09/09/2022 09:30

sidewayswalking · 09/09/2022 09:13

Really? In our house we prefer to express our feelings, our children are not afraid to show their sad emotions & neither are dh & I. It's a very sad event & I found it extremely touching as did many millions around the world! Suppressing feelings is very unhealthy. My dc's teachers have actually commented on their emotional maturity, I guess that comes from always having their feelings validated & vice versa... But thank you for your concern, I don't believe in suppressing feelings especially in my own house, my sanctuary. I would however hold it together in public I'm sure..

This almost suggests you care more about the public perception of you than the actual feelings of your own children. Expressing feelings is one thing but what you described is not a normal reaction and your children were almost certainly upset because you were, not because HM died.

Well then they're validating my feelings if you put it like that which is extremely thoughtful. If more people validated others feelings the world would be a better place.
But no they found the images of the queen's life & the tributes very moving, they are extremely interested in history & as a family we keep ourselves updated with current affairs. Every child is different & mine are entitled to shed a tear at the Queen's passing if they feel upset.

OP posts:
Cocksandrubbers · 09/09/2022 09:32

Meltingsocks · 09/09/2022 07:02

She was their great Grannie, they won't have been close, they'll be fine.

Your children were likely picking up on your feelings. Mine were supremely uninterested

My dc are extremely close to their great-grandparents and we’re devastated when their great-grandma passed away in June.

My eldest dc was also very upset last night as he had recently won a competition for drawing an image of the Queen and received a letter from her on Friday.

Iliveonahill · 09/09/2022 09:34

They will be fine. They were very lucky to have known their great grandmother. They will have fantastic happy memories of a lovely lady.

sidewayswalking · 09/09/2022 09:36

Well then they're validating my feelings if you put it like that which is extremely thoughtful. If more people validated others feelings the world would be a better place.

Your youngest is in reception? They are not validating your feelings. They are upset because you are. They don't understand the full picture here. Mum is 'properly weeping' = child is upset because of mum.

Ewetoo · 09/09/2022 09:43

My youngest was out shopping with DH, my oldest two were with me. My youngest asked how & why she died, he wasn't sad, just curious. My older two were upset & no not because of me... Do people react the same way with their children if they cry at a sad film? My older dc & I always shed a tear at Marley & me.. Didn't think it was abnormal🙄

OP posts:
sidewayswalking · 09/09/2022 10:34

Ewetoo · 09/09/2022 09:43

My youngest was out shopping with DH, my oldest two were with me. My youngest asked how & why she died, he wasn't sad, just curious. My older two were upset & no not because of me... Do people react the same way with their children if they cry at a sad film? My older dc & I always shed a tear at Marley & me.. Didn't think it was abnormal🙄

Shedding a tear at a sad film is normal.

Properly weeping for the whole afternoon into evening about the queen being I'll then during is not.