We had the terrible phrases what about good ones?

[myeyemyeye]

I'll start my lovely Irish neighbour when I asked him how he was replied "" still above ground"
I also love the word flimflam .
Any others?

If you had two heads you'd be twice as stupid!

Oh that's funny - my brother said about someone that if brains were chocolate he wouldn't have enough to fill a smartie.

'If wit was shit you wouldn't have enough to be constipated'

'If you had a braincell you'd be dangerous'

Another Irish one, on a nosy neighbour:

“Her hearing’s so good she can hear the grass grow.”

I like the word shenanigans. Silly but not ill meant behaviour.

"Canoodling" my mum uses it to describe my DP and me being lovey/ kissing.

Before she enters a room she'll call "can I come in or are you two canoodling?"

My Scottish FIL

"You know what thought did? He thought he'd plant a feather and grow a chicken".

Yeah, me neither? 🤔😂