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Original poster

So distressed. Did this man make me lose my hair?

54 replies

safefacespace · 07/09/2022 21:35

I'm so distressed about my hair. This year, but particularly in the last 6 months or so my hair has drastically thinned to the extent there's almost nothing left!! I went to the trichologist after no products were working. She said I had generalised thinning and thought it may be a deficiency or I could be a coeliac.

I had the tests which came back normal although I messed up my coeliac test so hopefully I can do it again.

I got hair extensions at the end of July just before going away as my hair was getting so thin, I had three rows which gave me lovely thick hair. I went to get them replaced yesterday and I was could have cried!! I have next to no hair left! I go to a very reputable and expensive technician who promises me that the extensions do not damage my hair (LA Weave). She showed me that my scalp seems to have lots of hairs and no gaps but almost everything else is gone. If I was to plait it it would be the thickness of a thin carrot, if that.

I've had to make another dr appt and email the trichologist again in a panic. I've been racking my brains for why this is happening. I eat a healthy diet, take my vitamins, I'm still relatively young. I was looking back through my photos and saw that last November I had lovely hair, no problem.

I then realised that this coincides with a very traumatic incident that happened around that time, when a man pulled my hair to the absolute extreme. I thought all my hair was going to be ripped from my head it was so hard. It lasted for a few agonising seconds before it was stopped.

Ever since I have had very bad scalp sensitivity and find it hard to stand any sort of pressure on my hair now. I have to ask hairdressers to be gentle as when they wash my hair it is painful and I get very anxious.

I'd not connected the two things before and google isn't being helpful but I'm wondering now if it could be the reason for my hair loss. Best case scenario if it is then I have lost a lot of hair but I have healthy new growth which I will just need to wait for that to grow down. Or is it more likely to be health related? I'm so upset and worried.

OP posts:
LimeTreeGrove · 07/09/2022 21:45

That's awful. It could be that. If so I think it would be temporary and grow back. Similar to if you tweeze it grows back.

Eyesopenwideawake · 07/09/2022 21:48

It's a really good theory - a lot of what happens in the body starts in the mind. It's not something I have any experience of but I'd love to pose the question to my FB group of fellow hypnotists - it's a private group and obviously your details and the source of the query would be anonymous. Would this be OK?

Original poster
safefacespace · 07/09/2022 21:50

What do you mean? If it was due to this I'd have thought it would be the result of some kind of physical trauma to the hair follicles rather than being from the mind?

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Beauty
MsChatterbox · 07/09/2022 21:51

I'm so sorry that happened to you. It sounds plausible. I really hope it grows back nice and thick for you.

catsonahottinroof · 07/09/2022 21:53

I agree, it could have caused it but it's a good sign that you still have lots of hairs at the roots. When you feel ready, I would have your hair cut as short as you can and stop having the extensions, as I'm sure they can't be good for your hair long term. Also remember your hair renews itself every four to six years so you could have just gone through a moulting phase.

picklemewalnuts · 07/09/2022 21:53

Safespace the mind is hugely powerful.

Hair loss is often associated with trauma.

PussInBin20 · 07/09/2022 21:54

Well I’m no doctor but I guess it’s possible or related to anxiety/stress about it perhaps?

what did the GP say the cause could be?

I sympathise with you totally - could it be hormone related?

The problem of course is the more you fret about it, the less it will improve but I know it’s easier said than done.

It sounds like you are doing all that you can but maybe some counselling about the trauma you experienced may help and/or some relaxation techniques to relieve the stress.

You are in contact with the professionals so maybe tell them of your trauma if you haven’t already. Good luck, hope it improves.

bevelino · 07/09/2022 21:58

I had a terrible stressful time at work a couple of years ago and my hair dropped out. It was awful and very stressful. However it did gradually grow back once the stress level dropped and I don’t fully understand the connection to this day. Try not to worry as unless it is alopecia your hair should grow again.

Original poster
safefacespace · 07/09/2022 22:03

When the trichologist asked about stress though I was thinking death or difficult situation etc which I haven't had. This event was very traumatic but I wouldn't say it caused me a lot of stress. Without disclosing the details around it I had to sort of move on straight away and act like nothing had happened, there were no police or even anyone to talk about it so I can't say I've been thinking about it or it's caused me severe stress.

When I think about it or being in a similar situation then yes, that is very upsetting and I will never have anyone pull my hair in any kind of context ever again. But I had not connected this with my hair loss until last night.

OP posts:
Original poster
safefacespace · 07/09/2022 22:04

thank you @MsChatterbox and yes @catsonahottinroof that makes sense but honestly there is no length with any thickness. I was thinking oh my god, without now 4 rows of extensions (which don't even make it thick) I would either have to look ridiculous or shave my head and probably lose my husband because he doesn't like short hair.

OP posts:
Original poster
safefacespace · 07/09/2022 22:09

@PussInBin20 the gp agreed that I should have full blood count, thyroid and a coeliac test. I messed up the coeliac test by forgetting to eat gluten before but I do have other symptoms of gluten intolerance which I was going to talk to the gp about that and the hair loss next week.

The trichologist said it's not hormonal, apparently hormonal hair loss is localised to only the top and front of the scalp and mine is all over. I could tell the trichologist about it but I feel like if I tell the dr they will write off any other potentials.

sorry you experienced that @bevelino I'm so glad your hair grew back!

OP posts:
Pixiedust1234 · 07/09/2022 22:10

Shock can make you lose your hair, it doesn't all suddenly fall out at once. It sounds positive if new hair growth can be seen. So sorry this is happening to you.

Homewardbound2022 · 07/09/2022 22:12

Have you considered a wig in the interim?
This would cause less trauma to your scalp.
Best of luck with the regrowth.

addler · 07/09/2022 22:15

Whether it's a physical trauma to the scalp from the incident or a mental one could be hard to say- you say you've had to move on and pretend it didn't happen but it did happen to you and trauma is often held or manifested in the body when the brain puts up barriers to protect itself.

If you have some new growth coming in that's great! I took high strength biotin for several months after my hair fell out badly and it really helped with hair growth. Also taking multivitamins and having a high protein diet.

CharlotteRose90 · 07/09/2022 22:21

It’s definitely from the trauma that happened. Trauma makes your hair fall out. Mine fell out from my own trauma and I wish I could say it all returned but it hasn’t in 4 years. I was recommended biotin, hair oils and regular cuts. Do not put extensions in. They damage your hair and scalp.

are you getting therapy for what happened? Sometimes we think we are over something while your body is actually still recovering.

Motnight · 07/09/2022 22:23

Op do you mean it when you say that you would lose your husband if you had no hair?

allboysherebutme · 07/09/2022 22:24

Ask the trichologist could this be related, also have you had Covid, this happened to my sister for over a year after she had Covid. X

AceSpades54321 · 07/09/2022 22:26

Did you have covid? My hair fell out a couple of months after having covid. Apparently it can happen after any severe illness.

hiredandsqueak · 07/09/2022 22:33

Were you using dry shampoo? My daughter lost loads of hair and when she saw the dermatologist she asked about dry shampoo. Dd had only used it very occasionally but has never used it since. She had found other people online who had had the same experience. Her hair grew back and she has never had a problem since

Original poster
safefacespace · 07/09/2022 22:33

Thank you everyone. Yes @Motnight probably. I'd be really worried how he'd react. We were with someone else's partner recently who had shaved her hair and he said he hated it. I'm not sure how wigs work but in a few weeks time when I have no more events to go to I could potentially try and winter with no extensions (or hair!)

I'm using K18, olaplaex bond repairer and oil, I've got regaine too and taking biotin etc.

I did have covid around easter time. I was quite ill with it as I had the wheezing and shortness of breath but recovered fully after a few weeks. @AceSpades54321 How much did yours fall out?

So sorry to hear that @CharlotteRose90 I hope you have some improvement. I guess to me it seems strange that this would be mental trauma as in my past I've experienced bereavement, family court and ptsd all without my hair suffering.

This was traumatic but it was an isolated event that happened. It has caused some upset with my husband as when I try to talk to him about it I feel like he doesn't take it seriously how upsetting it was, so maybe therapy would be a good idea although I'm not sure if it would help just going over what happened. I don't plan to put myself in that situation ever again.

OP posts:
hedgehogscrossing · 07/09/2022 22:34

I would recommend seeing a dermatologist for a second opinion. They can tell you if you have healthy normal follicles which would indicate that your hair has the ability to grow back. I wouldn't bother with expensive shampoos, conditioner or oils/serums. You could try Regaine 5% strength, this has worked for me and my thinning areas where my scalp showed through have grown back.

Hormonal hair loss can be all over thinning not just the top/sides.

Nancydrawn · 07/09/2022 22:35

I would recommend seeing a counselor. If your husband is dismissive of your trauma and you fear that he would leave you should a medical condition (perhaps stemming from that trauma) change your physical appearance, I would concentrate on this in therapy.

Original poster
safefacespace · 07/09/2022 22:35

@hiredandsqueak I only use it very occasionally and wash my hair every day generally. I did sustain some chlorine damage whilst travelling which really didn't help. But bear in mind this is very extreme now. I have next to no hair left from my head down.

OP posts:
CharlotteRose90 · 07/09/2022 22:47

safefacespace · 07/09/2022 22:33

Thank you everyone. Yes @Motnight probably. I'd be really worried how he'd react. We were with someone else's partner recently who had shaved her hair and he said he hated it. I'm not sure how wigs work but in a few weeks time when I have no more events to go to I could potentially try and winter with no extensions (or hair!)

I'm using K18, olaplaex bond repairer and oil, I've got regaine too and taking biotin etc.

I did have covid around easter time. I was quite ill with it as I had the wheezing and shortness of breath but recovered fully after a few weeks. @AceSpades54321 How much did yours fall out?

So sorry to hear that @CharlotteRose90 I hope you have some improvement. I guess to me it seems strange that this would be mental trauma as in my past I've experienced bereavement, family court and ptsd all without my hair suffering.

This was traumatic but it was an isolated event that happened. It has caused some upset with my husband as when I try to talk to him about it I feel like he doesn't take it seriously how upsetting it was, so maybe therapy would be a good idea although I'm not sure if it would help just going over what happened. I don't plan to put myself in that situation ever again.

My hairs better now but hasn’t grown fully back.

dont use dry shampoo or heat on your hair either if you can.

oh and I recommend seeing a counsellor. You need to chat about your feelings. Your husband probably isn’t the best person to speak too. It needs to be someone unbiased to get everything out and give you the ability to move on.

hiredandsqueak · 07/09/2022 22:47

My daughter lost so much hair, she has always had long thick hair, you could see her scalp she had to pin it in such a way so as to cover her scalp. She had only used dry shampoo three or four times hadn't even used a full can. It was the only reason she could think of that was different to the norm and it was the dermatologist who asked not my daughter who raised it. Throw away the dry shampoo would be my advice.