Please help me word this message

[GetTheGoodLookingGuy]

Very first world problems but it's been stressing me out all week!

I've written a Harry Potter fan fiction and wanted to get it beta read (proofread for spelling, grammar and punctuation, checked for internal consistency etc) before I posted it to a fan fiction site. I ended up getting responses from several people I messaged, and so decided to trial a few of them for a chapter or two.

One of them sent back the first chapter last week and they've made loads of incorrect changes and even added in extra sentences. It's clear (to me) that they're not a good fit. But how on earth do I word this in a message?

I keep opening my PM inbox and trying to write a message but I just don't know what to say. I don't feel I can move forward and post the first chapter (beta-ed really well by someone else) until I've messaged this person, but I just don't know what to say.

I'm sure that you appreciate the time they've spent but you feel their proof just isn't a good fit with your writing style.

That's probably all you need to say?

Keep it short.

“Thank you for your time so far on XYZ. I appreciate your assistance/help.

I’ve reviewed your edits, and don’t think our styles are fully aligned, so I have decided to use a different person”.

Short, to the point.

That sounds exciting, would love to read it OP.

I think ultimately unless you stipulated a firm no to any discretionary changes to wording then there is no benefit to detailing you weren't happy with those, or why.

I would keep it brief and along the lines of - Hi so-and-so, thank you for your valuable input on this project. On this occasion I've decided to move forward with an alternative edit that felt closer to my original vision for the opening chapters. Sincere thanks for your time.

Can’t you just say thanks, your input was really valuable, publication coming out soon!

Yes they will notice their edits aren’t in there when they read the final version. But do you really need to mention this explicitly? Or will they expect to be asked to review the rest unless you’re clear it didn’t work out?