Feeling deflated - didn't get a promotion I went for

[NineToFiveish]

I was recommended to apply by the hiring manager/my boss's boss, and as a result I felt confident applying. Obviously I put a lot of thought and work into the application and interview, but the requirements for the role were a bit beyond my current skills.

I accept that, and I trust that the decision was the correct one. I will work towards building those skills, and next time the right opportunity arises I'll try again.

But tonight I feel deflated and upset. I wouldn't have applied if I wasn't approached about it to begin with, my confidence was definitely bolstered by that conversation. So it's a bit hard to realise my limitations, go back to work tomorrow with the same people after not getting the role, and keep smiling.

I've not had any experience like this before, unfortunately my work experience is limited after years of being a sahm, so I do feel a bit extra sensitive. How do I brush myself off and not feel embarrassed?

I have definitely had this experience! In hindsight, the jobs I missed out on weren't right for me anyway. Other, better, more suited jobs have come along.

Bit like boyfriends, really.

Ha! I hope I feel that way soon.

I've had a similar experience. Agree, this one wasn't for you. But after the sense of rejection has gone you can take the positive/learning from the experience.

If you do want to make the next move, interview practice & feedback is always helpful.

I'm not surprised you are feeling sore though. It always stings.

I had similar, was persuaded to apply. Used the same application that has got me an interview twice before for the same post. But wasn't even shortlisted despite being the only applicant. I was gutted. Not getting it at interview would have been fine. Refused to apply again when asked too.

Oh, @Toddlerteaplease that's just rotten. I would almost want to look elsewhere entirely after an experience like that. 😕

It’s natural to need time to feel sorry for yourself and lick your wounds. Allow yourself tonight to sulk.

but, really, this is part of looking to grow your career. You can’t expect to get every job that you apply for even when you think the winds are in your favour. Otherwise you will just stay in your current one forever. So you have to accept it as part of the process I’m afraid.

Tomorrow you just go in with your head held high, act positive, do your job well and really just fake it to you make it. Those in the know will be watching to see how you react.

You should ask for feedback from the hiring manager. Listen carefully and write it all down. You may not agree with it, it is just one person’s perspective. Also ask them what they think you could do to develop, what would make you a stand out candidate in future etc. I’ve known people get promotions at the second or third attempt if they’ve reacted well when turned down the first time.

Sorry you didn't get it

You just have to acknowledge your hurt but it will pass. Be philosophical at work and say very little. I had a bad run in interviews a while back but it passed and I got a result soon afterwards.

It is good they asked you to apply - it means you are not regarded as a twat

OP, tell yourself - and anyone who asks - that you didn't expect to get the promotion but went for it as experience and now have a better idea, as a result, of the skills you'll need to develop to be a genuine contender next time.

Thank your manager for getting you out there, having a go. People who succeed do so because they accept failure and take risks. You did that and you are already saying you have a clearer picture of what is expected to get the promotion. So it was a worthwhile experieience that enabled you to gain practise and insight fto ready yourself for the next stage. Next time you'll be ready because this time you had a go. It's a learning curve.

I worked somewhere for three years and got rejected for every single internal job I applied for in the time I was there (5 in total I think). Ended up leaving for a better job and a 10k pay rise. It’s par for the course unfortunately. Keep going and see it as an opportunity to brush up on the areas you need to, can your work help with extra training?

@goldfinchonthelawn has it spot on. Good for you for having a go. It’s normal to be a bit disappointed but head held high tomorrow!

Thanks all. I was feeling quite overwrought last night, but a good sleep and sunny morning has helped a lot. I have a good job as-is, with excellent colleagues and supportive managers, so it's helpful to remember that. And I will be a bit more choosy about what roles I go for next time, because I just wasn't ready for this one.