My son has just started y7 - 3rd proper day today and they had two taster days plus a week long summer school at the end of July - so the classes have had a bit of involvement with each other, but it’s still very early days.
He’s attracted the attention of a girl, who sits next to him is in all his classes and has taken to scooching up to him on the benches/ makes a beeline for him in each class. She’s also begun texting him multiple times yesterday and today before school, to say she’s waiting for him/to hurry up. I did ask why on earth he gave his number so soon and he said a group of them exchanged numbers at the end of summer school planning to meet at the park.
He’s always mainly been in female friendship groups and has been in this situation before - kids stuff I.e a little girl wanted to hug him/tried to kiss him/told people he was her boyfriend or later, her ‘ex’ which embarrassed him and it dragged on for two years, if not more, because he didn’t want to hurt their feelings and didn’t want the rest of the group to be cross with him, but he dreaded spending time with her and let it dominate social situations. He was always fed up and the girl probably left feeling a bit hurt and confused. I ended up talking to her mum, because I was of the mind that it wouldn’t be acceptable in the reverse, but this isn’t primary school now.
I’ve advised that he has to be more direct this time and to nip it in the bud early on by telling her that he’s someone who needs space, but he said he’d prefer to ‘let it fizzle out’ (I pointed out that it never fizzled out last time) but he hasn’t gone to trampolining club this morning because he knows she is going and he was really looking forward to it!
The thing with this particular girl will more than likely evolve, its v early on, I know that, but it’s this all too familiar pattern of worry and avoidance as a solution that’s the issue.
My various suggestions have never got us anywhere so I wondered how others would advise to be assertive but not upset someone in the process? Or is that just inevitable and part of life’s lessons for everyone involved?