Anyone got a SEN child starting mainstream secondary today?

[OhWelllWhatever]

And absolutely shitting it for them?

Couldnt sleep a wink last night and blubbing this morning while sewing his badge onto his blazer.

I need to pull myself together and think positive but I've always been more of a realist than an optimist, and I know this next 5 years is going to be so hard.

DD has autism, and started secondary on Friday. So far she loves it.

Not this year - but last year (and then again with my youngest in 2 years).

You will find a routine that works for you. I was very hands on for Year 7 to ensure he settled in okay - support with homework, packing bags etc. Stepping back a bit in Year 8, still supporting but leaving him to do a bit more for himself.

He has settled in well, bit of a blip just before the Easter holidays - but all okay in the summer term.

He has ASD, ADHD and Dyspraxia.

Just to add - the school really helped him settle in. The SENCo met him (and Dad) but n the first day and took him to a quieter area of the hall for

Sorry accidentally posted!

… the first assembly and he had a TA with him to direct him around, remind him to get his medication etc

*on the first day….

Me! Well he started yesterday. I felt sick on the lead up but it went okay. He only got upset once when sticking something in his book didn't go right but the SEN team seem to be looking out for him pretty well. Sat alone at lunch but he said he was happy like that. He has ASD, ADHD and Dyspraxia. Hope your DC gets on okay.

Good luck!

i am a year down the line from you, DS is just going into year 8.

when he was at primary school I was adamant he wouldn’t cope in mainstream secondary. But when I looked around the specialist options weren’t right for him either.

as it turned out the local mainstream was best placed to meet his needs. They worked with me and his primary to ensure everything was in place. He has full 1-1 and access to the learning support room as needed but now generally manages to stay in class for the whole day. They even do his tube feeds

fingers crossed for a good first day

I have an autistic child in primary and already worrying about this. How did it go? Feel so much for anyone in this situation.

Thank you everyone for all your replies.🌷and/or🍷to everyone out there with children, sen or otherwise who need extra support in life.

He skipped into school without a second look which is a good start. I was about to start blubbing again. Just seeing him with so much optimism about school which he never has. I wish he could feel like that all the time!
The first day is always exciting I suppose.

I'm more worried about the next couple of weeks as that's when he starts to struggle, until about after feb half term when he settles somewhat after becoming comfortable with his new teacher. I've no idea how hes going to get on having different teachers for each subject.

Friends wise the situation is a bit dire as well and having an older child in the school, I know theres not a lot they do to support the more isolated kids such as clubs etc. Maybe DS2 will be luckier in that respect but I'm unsure.

I think I will ask about counselling as his confidence is on the floor (maybe puberty?) He is so hard on himself and expresses that he feels worthless because of his ADHD and wishes he could be "normal" I will be considering medication if things dont improve. I just want him to see how bloody awesome he is and how much he is loved but he doesnt believe it.

God, I've really rambled on but it feels good to write it all down!

Good luck to all, and how nice to hear some positive tales.

My DS2 started MS secondary yesterday. He has inattentive ADHD (medicated) & autism, as well as probable dyspraxia & hypermobility.

He really loved going in yesterday, when I asked him how it was on a scale of 1-10 (he likes to put numbers on things, easier to understand than feelings), he said it was of

Secondary school transfer is tough for any parent as you'll know from your older dc, it's different.

My SEN kid has settled (now yr9) and the whole different teacher thing is OK- helped by the fact that she keeps the same tutor/tutor room through out secondary so always has the same base.

Hopefully as secondaries are usually bigger than primaries the school will have more resources to support your son. A special needs base has been invaluable to mine when the chaotic environment is just too much! For example.

Oops posted too soon! Off the scale good.

His school seem amazing. Ds1 goes there already but no SEN so no Experience of that. But DS2 has had 1 morning SEN induction & 2 whole days all Year 7 in July. Then yesterday it was just Year 7 & 12 in school. Plus he went to summer school for 3 days & a meet up at a trampoline park where he seemed to make friends! He vaguely knows a few other DC & told me this morning he has 2 friends, both girls in his tutor group & daughters of my friends. So socially going ok I think, considering he had no friends at primary - no enemies/,bullies either, they all tolerated & even looked after him, but no friends.

My main concerns for him are around getting work done & getting changed for PE & back. He is very slow doing everything & cannot do shoelaces or ties & even struggles to get some shoes on. The SENCo rang on Friday to check in & I explained this to her & she said she will talk to teachers who will help & also work on tie etc with him.

Big, exciting times but nerve-wracking too. I am just waiting for a phone call to say it is all going wrong, hopefully won't get one 😬

No my daughter was due to but I’ve deregistered as I know it won’t be suitable for her.

@confusedofengland I'm also waiting by the phone!

@SpinningFloppa Do you mind me asking - what are your plans for your daughter?

Thank you again to everyone who has replied. Its lovely to hear stories of children flourishing in school. Definitely helps me to try and stay positive.

With the tie - have you tried getting him to loosen the tie by moving the knot down, then he can remove it over his head and then pop it back on and pull the knot back up. This is what we do for my son - he has only just managed shoelaces, so not started on the tie yet!

We tried that a couple of times, in Junior school, but he could not get the hang of it 😬

Two SEN children (and adopted which adds a whole heap of other 'stuff').

Year 6 starts his SEN school tomorrow - we only got told he had a place last Thursday. Year 7 doesn't have a school place at all (has EHCP).

I'm supposed to start my new job on Monday, which I cannot as I have a child at home, so I will lose my new job and not be able to pay my bills.

I currently veer from rage to frustration to fear to overwhelming sadness about eleventy billion times a day. Mainly I cry in the toilet where my wonderful children won't see me.

We put Ds tie onto elastic which helped him.

he gets changed away from the main changing rooms which makes it easier

get an 'elastic neck tie' - they have elastic to go over neck. plenty on Amazon

That sounds super tough. Hopefully it will get better as they get older.

He is not allowed an elastic tie, I asked the SENCO. She said that he needs to learn. Until he can, the PE teacher will help him & she will get TAs to teach him 3 times a week. Then if he really can't get it they will look at alternatives.

How did everyone's first week go?

DS really enjoyed his first week. He has made a couple of good friends (girls) in his form & goes from classroom to classroom with them, so it prevents him getting lost, which is great. He seems to be interacting in the lessons & writing stuff down, so that feels positive.

PE is not such a success story. He managed to get changed & participate in the lesson. Needed help changing (tie/shoelaces). But now has lost PE kit! The whole thing! Over £100 worth, branded kit, new trainers, football boots & more.

And now he is having a massive meltdown about grapes. This is breaking me 😭