I've been widowed for nearly 18 months. In that time my life has changed immeasurably, not only the loss of DH but my friendship group has changed completely too. I'm afraid I've found that people we knew as couples have largely disappeared, but I have become closer to some "acquaintances" and some of them have really been very good to me.
I've had a policy of saying yes to every invitation. It's served me well, I've spent time with lots of fun people and experienced some new things, kept busy which has helped me cope. Developed friendships with some really good and interesting people. (Male and female)
This weekend I have a choice!
- Music festival with single man I've known forever, although only really moved to friend territory in the last couple of years. Was really good to me and DH when DH was ill and bedbound during lockdown. He didn't just offer "anything I can do" like most people, he made a point of calling every week, took me out for a run, then had a drink with DH while I showered and made dinner. He was at times the only visitor DH saw, although they weren't particularly close before. (I considered he was helping with care so allowed).
He likes a drink and so do I. Together there's no doubt we will drink too much. He's a very enthusiastic dancer and a lot of fun. He can be quite handsy when he's had a drink! It's possible he's starting to think beyond friendship and whilst he's an attractive man and I enjoy his company, I'm not there yet.
Or
Football with a married man I've been good friends with for even longer. We often go to games. Me and him and football will also lead to too much drink, but spending time with him putting the world to rights after the football and a few drinks is one of my favourite things. He's been an important friend for 2 decades and I am completely safe with him.
However "something" has changed since I'm no longer married. I can't quite put my finger on it, but it's not as easy as it used to be.
Or I could stay home and watch something on Netflix, but that would go against my say yes policy.
FWIW I don't as a general rule drink so much. Only on these kinds of nights out, which aren't that frequent. I never drink at home.
Oh and BTW, I'm due to run a half marathon next morning 😆