Work one - why do I do these things to myself?!

[Jindle1]

I work full time in a professional job but I'm struggling with motivation at the moment. There's a restructure going on which I'm finding quite difficult but I'm acting out of character and even though I can see myself doing it, I can't seem to stop.

As an example, I gave up working on a document on Fri evening despite knowing it wasn't great with a loose plan to look at it on Monday. My boss has now looked at it over the weekend and sent an email expressing some surprise/disappointment over me giving up on it. And I'm worried about going in tomorrow. I'm worried about my boss feeling let down/changing his opinion of me and I'm embarrassed.

I knew it wasnt good enough. I always have high standards that I hold myself to and yet I find im doing 'just enough' more and more at the min.

I'm in a good position - no DC at home, enough money to pay the bills and lucky enough to have secure housing. While I do have some extra life events going on (ill partner being made redundant, ailing parent), I have no reason to be acting so lazy/demotivated. I dont understand why im doing this to myself.

Anyone experience anything similar?

Time to look for a new role or anew you just unsettled by the restructuring?

Thank you. I've been applying for new roles but no joy yet.

Work are giving my team the opportunity to 'help shape' our new roles and I can't even muster any excitement/optimism to do that. I don't get it, surely this is a great way for me to contribute and yet, the thought just tires me.

I gave up working on a document on Fri evening despite knowing it wasn't great with a loose plan to look at it on Monday.
This was the right thing to do. It was Friday evening! You begin again on Monday.

My boss has now looked at it over the weekend and sent an email expressing some surprise/disappointment over me giving up on it.
And the right response to this is NOT anxiety over your job/boss/Monday, but some righteous indignation that a document you hadn’t finished working on yet is being scrutinised over a weekend and ‘disappointment’ expressed…

Hopefully that’s a shit example you gave? I do understand the more general feeling of lacking intrinsic motivation and watching yourself do a bit of a lacklustre job (has happened to me at times of high stress) but that example isn’t great!

You are allowed to do just enough. You are allowed to be stressed by restructuring, ailing parents and an ill partner being made redundant. You are human and that’s a lot of stressors right there.

Give yourself a break. Believe you are worthy of a break and worthy of a boss who treats you well not judges you on work not yet completed.

Wow, what a lovely message @NoSquirrels thank you.

The document deadline was technically Friday and a colleague and I were working on it. He finished at 5 and I carried on going until 8 but instead of finishing it, I just left it. I think my plan was to work on it tomorrow morning but even that wasn't worked through. I'd done the essential bits but because noone was online, thought the weekend wouldn't matter. Despite knowing when the deadline was.

It's so very unlike me and I don't know why I did it. I'm not unwell, I wasn't rushing off for other plans etc. And now I've landed myself with a difficult situation tomorrow that could have been avoided.

I just keeping thinking that during a restructure is really not the time to develop a lazy streak!

But why was it ok for your colleague to finish and 5 but you continue to 8 pm , surely as it was late your not going to be to productive if your tired
But it does sound like you maybe need a change of job or a reset , do you have any annual leave due and can take some time out

Peri-menopause?

I could have written your post (except for 2nd last paragraph of no kids at home etc). Here i am at stupid o'clock on Monday AM because I need to write a huge amount of work to be available for my boss to review at 9am this morning - and I just didn't do it last week. Also restructure ad not the time to pull back, also unlike me...

In my defence, I recognise that I am chronically burnt out. After the 2.5 years of pushing myself to extremes since Covid, I have just become habitually and chronically burnt out. I have nothing left to give. My stress and burn out is negatively affecting my home life (I am 'angry' and on a short leash all the time). I just don't know what to do about it.

Do you think you are burnt out too?

Thanks for the suggestions all! It's definitely not menopause but the burnt out thing is interesting.

My role was impacted by covid too. But I'm not a medic, I wasn't "front line" enough to be burnt out I don't think?

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling @EweCee - do you have plans to move on from your role? Or to take some leave/a break? All easier said than done I know!

About to face the music and still have absolutely no defence but fingers crossed it won't be as bad as I'm imagining!

How did it go today? I am still under the cosh with my big deadline tomorrow - but I have been working since 1am this morning so need some sleep shortly and then back for another night of it.

I too am not 'front line', but do a lot of large government contracts and run a large team and our workload exploded with Covid and the pressure has been intense. I don't think you need to be front line to be burnt out - it applies to all sorts of jobs and pressure I believe. I took a 2 week holiday over the summer (worked a few days but biggest block of time I've had off in years) - but the workload leading up to the holiday meant excessive overtime and been a lot since back too - its almost not worth taking time off... need the salary though so on I slog.