I work at the same company as my aunt & her partner - we've all worked together for over 10 years. In recent years I ended up meeting my H2B at the same company.
My aunt's partner was my H2B bosses' boss (sat 2 levels above him) and unfortunately my H2B ended up resigning quite suddenly after a situation occurred and he felt like he was getting pushed out of the company. He went on to find a similar position for a lot higher salary, so it ended up working in our favour.
Cut to a few months later, one of my H2Bs former colleagues reach out to him to see if he has any positions as they are looking for a higher salary - my H2B puts him in contact with his current boss and he eventually got offered a position.
This is when the downfall began. My aunt & her partner accuse my H2B of poaching staff and even though this employee repeatedly told them he reached out to my H2B, they just wouldn't let it go. My aunt's partner has made himself entirely to be a victim in this situation and will now not speak to my H2B at all. My aunt will still talk to my H2B, but its nothing much past just general pleasantries.
My aunt is pretty much the matriarch of my family - she's very controlling and most members of my family follow suit to just get an easy life - I know this as its the very thing I have done most of my life.
Now, my aunt being the unofficial 'head' of the family, and her partner quite clearly being so 'put out' by my H2Bs actions means that we now do not get any invites to family functions at all. My family away from my aunt will talk of how unfair my H2B has been treated etc but none have ever spoke up for us as to why we are not included anymore.
I think the fact that my own mother & grandmother don't say anything upsets me more than the fact that we are not invited. My h2B is very close with them and will do anything for them. They all have such a good bond, but they just allow us to be constantly alienated and I just don't think I would do that if the shoe was on the other foot.
It's our wedding in less than two months, and we didn't stoop to their level and I did invite them both to our wedding. They are coming according to the RSVP, but today I found out that every single member of my family is together for Sunday dinner and again we are both not included, and it just got to me more than it normally does, and I have spent most of the morning in fits of tears. I feel so shunned.
I am really considering uninviting my aunt's partner to the wedding, after all its just as much my H2Bs day as it is mine and why should he feel uncomfortable? My H2B is such a great human, he never considered my aunts partner not coming no matter how awfully he's been treated by him. But if we are already not welcome to family events, what is the point in trying to be a reasonable person and allow him to attend?
I know I'm probably just acting irrational as I am pretty upset this morning, but what would you do?