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Original poster

Pregnant in 40's....is it possible

50 replies

autumnleaves17 · 04/09/2022 10:23

Just turned 44, TTC number 2...been trying for 6 months now..

Feel like I've missed the boat 😖
I don't know anyone older than 38 having babies!
I had my first at 40.
Pandemic and other things made us wait a bit longer...now feel I've left it too late.

Took 4 months to conceive DD1

Any older mums any advice?
I'm going to my GP to ask for bloods and pelvic ultrasound...dreading it!!!

OP posts:
MintJulia · 26/09/2022 01:35

It's less frequent OP but not rare.

I conceived ds (my first) at 44 without intending to. He arrived when I was 45+2, perfectly healthy, natural birth, no issues. So it can happen.

Just eat healthily, drink less alcohol and have frequent sex. 🙂

cupoftea33 · 26/09/2022 04:19

This thread has given me hope 😊
44 and TTC number 2 also.

I too have wondered how old the stats are for having a baby in your 40's...as in was it recorded when women were on average more likely to have babies in 20's, early 30's

Iknowforsure1 · 26/09/2022 06:45

I wish you luck. I have 2 children and am after mid 30s. I know realistically I absolutely must not have another child right now (existing children need lots of attention and support) and I also want to and need to rebuild my career. A thought crossed my mind to have a third child when I’m your age, by that time my older children will be over 18. I do think it’s a bit late and a bit risky but I also know so many people do it and happily become parents for the first time or with further children.

Interested in this thread?

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milawops · 26/09/2022 06:48

I had my first at 41 and my second at 42. Both pregnancies were fine. Second one a bit tougher as my eldest was only 5 months when I conceived again.

itsaich · 26/09/2022 08:21

It's possible until you go through menopause which could be 50 or after.

It's just less likely. You need to know your fertile window.

Get a basal thermometer and take your temp at the same time every morning while still in bed, it's temp at rest. Record for one month.

Notice drop in temperature, outside the range. This is your fertile window, it should be the same each month. Start the sex 2 days either side every other day.

Do it fairly regularly outside that period to keep sperm turnover.

Get him to take 1,000mg Vitamin C daily plus zinc, and B6 and iron as well if you like. You do the same. He needs to wear loose boxers from now on.

After sex stay lying down for 20 minutes during fertile window.

emmathedilemma · 26/09/2022 08:26

Also be aware that the occurrence of twins is higher in older mums!

littlemissalwaystired · 26/09/2022 09:12

As a midwife we're seeing more women having babies in their 40s than ever before! Feels like a much higher amount compared to those in early 20s. I don't even bat an eyelid anymore if I have women in my caseload who are 42-46 years old, it's just become normal. Wishing you luck!Smile

thejadefish · 26/09/2022 09:15

I thought that I had read somewhere that the fertility stats came from data from pre 1900 but I wasn't sure - had a look and found this article if you're interested www.scientificamerican.com/article/popular-health-claims-such-as-a-womans-fertility-dropping-at-age-30-are-wildly-overblown/

Also the article referred to from The Atlantic I found interesting too (it's fairly long tho) www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/07/how-long-can-you-wait-to-have-a-baby/309374/

Had my 2nd conceived naturally at age 44, born when I was 45 and he's healthy no chromosomal issues despite my being overweight (which can affect fertility so I read somewhere) it's definitely possible. Best of luck to all those trying xx

Phrenologistsfinger · 26/09/2022 09:27

My egg quality is shot at 37-39 so not hopeful! Ten losses, 47 IVF eggs, 36 fertilised - 7 embryos created and only 1 is chromosomally normal. So not holding out hope for my 40s!

Don’t forget sperm, men need to improve theirs too as it declines a lot with age - it takes 3 months to refresh. Older eggs have less ability to correct duff sperm.

Phrenologistsfinger · 26/09/2022 09:28

*losses were ttc naturally

Zelda93 · 26/09/2022 09:30

I had my dd at 43yrs and my friend has just got caught and she's 46 having her first baby.

WeAreTheHeroes · 26/09/2022 09:33

I worked with a woman who gave birth to her son at 48. Conceived naturally.

RinklyRomaine · 26/09/2022 10:04

I find it really odd when people talk about it all being unlikely. I had my youngest two at 41 and 43. My Nan had her youngest at 45, my paternal grandmother at 44. My great grandmother had 4 of her 13 over 40. We all know egg quality drops, but unlikely? Threads on here literally fill up with women who had babies in their forties. 6m isn't long OP.

villamariavintrapp · 26/09/2022 10:15

Of course it's possible. But your fertility declines with age, so if you really want it then you need to start trying-every month. There's no point in getting tests etc if you're not even having sex regularly when you're ovulating. The longer you wait the less likely it is to be successful.

MrsLemonySnicket · 26/09/2022 10:25

Gave up booze and went in massive health kick then got unexpectedly pregnant at 44. Now have a lovely wee boy

Caroffee · 26/09/2022 10:43

I know three women who had their two children at 40 and 42. None of them needed IVF. However, 44 is another couple of years older.

SommerTen · 26/09/2022 12:37

I know a woman who had 2 boys in her twenties with her first husband... then a boy at 42 with her (younger) second husband, then a girl by accident 9 months later!

I know of several others who had babies in their 40s.

But a friend of mine (not peri menopause yet) at 46 has been trying for ages with her much younger husband and no joy.

However he won't get tested for any fertility issues which is stupid as she's had multiple tests and they've showed no issues with her.
What is it with men and their egos??

wanderlove · 26/09/2022 18:03

I had babies at 33, 36 and 39. One of those irritating people that fell pregnant first attempt with each. We would have liked a 4th so actively tried for 1 year to no effect. Was happy with our lot and just accepted fertility had declined. Haven’t used contraception. Completely given up hope …and lo and behold am now 21 weeks pregnant with a very happy surprise. I was having reflexology for stress and she asked me about fertility and said she would treat me. So far has been easiest pregnancy. Don’t give up hope.

wanderlove · 26/09/2022 18:04

Forgot to say I am 42

whythou111 · 26/09/2022 18:15

@autumnleaves17 i will just say, for balance quite a few women go into menopause in their early fourties' about 5- 7% in total I think and if there is a family history of it that can increase the odds. So still pretty rare, but it can come as a shock to women who it happens too, and it can happen quite suddenly, one appointment you’re all normal, next zero fertility. The norm is fertility until late 40s, but if anyone reading this is anxious about it best to try reassure yourself and get as much facts as you can on it. If you feel comfortable ask female relatives about their experiences.

FivePotatoesHigh · 26/09/2022 18:21

SommerTen · 26/09/2022 12:37

I know a woman who had 2 boys in her twenties with her first husband... then a boy at 42 with her (younger) second husband, then a girl by accident 9 months later!

I know of several others who had babies in their 40s.

But a friend of mine (not peri menopause yet) at 46 has been trying for ages with her much younger husband and no joy.

However he won't get tested for any fertility issues which is stupid as she's had multiple tests and they've showed no issues with her.
What is it with men and their egos??

Sounds like your friend needs to ditch the manchild.

Rufus27 · 26/09/2022 18:42

I have a DD aged 5 and a DS aged 6, both adopted . I am in my early 50s. About a third of the mums in their classes (village primary) are late 40s or early 50s . I am not the oldest, much to my surprise . Several menopause babies!

urrrgh46 · 26/09/2022 18:50

It's a lot harder to get pregnant in general and you're much more likely to have a miscarriage (usually due to genetic problems with the fertilised egg) in your 40s. I had my last baby (my 9th) at nearly 45. In my twenties I got pregnant usually first time I tried. In my 30s it took some active trying and in my 40s lots of active trying and miscarriages before a successful pregnancy. It's not impossible and lots of women have babies in their forties but you have to be prepared to try hard and have miscarriages.

PaperMonster · 26/09/2022 19:10

Had my first at 42. I work for an elderly lady who was one of about 8 and her mum had two of them in her 40s.

Herejustforthisone · 26/09/2022 21:12

urrrgh46 · 26/09/2022 18:50

It's a lot harder to get pregnant in general and you're much more likely to have a miscarriage (usually due to genetic problems with the fertilised egg) in your 40s. I had my last baby (my 9th) at nearly 45. In my twenties I got pregnant usually first time I tried. In my 30s it took some active trying and in my 40s lots of active trying and miscarriages before a successful pregnancy. It's not impossible and lots of women have babies in their forties but you have to be prepared to try hard and have miscarriages.

Ninth? Wow.

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