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Original poster

Part-time to Full-time with 3 children

25 replies

Remmy123 · 04/09/2022 09:19

I am procrastinating and worrying myself so much over this.

3 kids : 5 (starting primary) 14, 11 (starting secondary)

i currently work part time very low salary with no benefits. Very flexible can be there for the kids keep on top of housework.

it is almost impossible to find a part time job in my role so with the cost of living rises and my son starting reception I am going for ful time job interviews.

i would be earning an extra 2k a month. plus excellent benefits. The job will start full time in the office (one hour commute each way) then down to two days from home per week once fully trained.

i will get a cleaner. My husband is willing to share the load but is still pretty shit (wil walk past the stair pile) etc... he mostly wfh

has anyone successfully gone back full
time and be happy? This means we can afford better holidays. My kids struggle with homework and neither of us will be around until 7ish to support them so also worried about that.

Thanks

OP posts:

CornishTiger · 04/09/2022 09:22

I wouldn’t go full time just to afford better holidays. The 5 year old in reception is likely to need you around too so that flexibly is important. Plus being around for the secondary school children especially the one starting this year.

What will the children do til 7pm? That’s late to be starting tea etc.

I work full time. I have flexibly and can plan my own diary/wfh when I need.

toomuchlaundry · 04/09/2022 09:24

How will you cover after school and school holidays?

Mol1628 · 04/09/2022 09:24

I’ve gone from two days to full time. I’ve only got two primary children though.

Its a big adjustment I’ve cried a lot and felt out of my depth but I know we need the money.

Best advice I’ve been given is you need to give it a few months for it to feel ok. It’s going to be rough at first. But that’s good. Change is always hard.

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Families

Mol1628 · 04/09/2022 09:25

ETA: only works for us as husband has flexible working from home so he is around for them.

Cynderella · 04/09/2022 09:27

I did it when my four children were about the same ages as yours. The main disadvantages for me (teaching full-time in a tough school) were:

I was exhausted all the time
Weekends were laundry and catching up
Shopping became more expensive and cooking was reduced to a minimum
Day to day things like waiting in for someone, taking deliveries, dropping off someone etc became big deals
Kids being ill or having different school training days was difficult

Over all, It was worth it - i imagine a lot of my difficulties will be solved by your husband being at home a lot? I WFH now, and it makes it much easier to keep up - load in machine before work, hang out in coffee or lunch break, able to take in post etc, and, of course, much easier to get everything delivered now.

Fundays12 · 04/09/2022 09:32

As a child of parents who both worked till after 7 in the evening I wouldn’t do it. I hated it and missed them terribly. It was so they could afford nice holidays too. I would rather have had my mum home with me.

Original poster

Remmy123 · 04/09/2022 09:33

Thanks all - to add my mum can come two afternoons to do primary school pick up.

plus the two days I will work from home obviously I will be there when kids come home from school. Even though I'll be v busy I'll be around.

OP posts:

Frazzled2207 · 04/09/2022 09:34

An extra 2k a month is a lot.

I’d certainly go to interviews etc. but you might be pleasantly surprised. I went back to work a year ago and like you applied for FT jobs not entirely sure how i would do it. Anyway I mentioned to my (now) employer that I would start off FT but ideally drop down to 4 days once established. They just suggested I start on 4 days (or 5 shorter days- my choice). So I did.
Yes that’s lucky but many employers are surprisingly flexible.

Mindymomo · 04/09/2022 09:37

I worked 4 days a week when I had one child, but when I had another I changed jobs doing 2 days a week, which was better for us. I’ve a feeling that there will be more part time jobs before too long as Companies will not be replacing full time staff when people leave.

Original poster

Remmy123 · 04/09/2022 09:41

There is definitely no flex to reduce hours as I am working for other people in a very busy support role.

i have interviews coming up and I feel
so nervous and I keep thinking 'wtf am I doing' then I think other people do it so why can't I 😬

OP posts:

Undermearmour · 04/09/2022 09:41

An extra 2K is a lot right now.

I've worked full time since my youngest went to school because financially I had no other choice. You get used to it and what you need to do. I'm the opposite to PP. I do all the graft in the weekday evenings so weekends are about family time.

My own mum was a SAHM, was absolutely incompetent and largely absent. So I don't necessarily subscribe to 'being home for the kids is better'.

SugarMiceInTheRain · 04/09/2022 09:48

I have 3 children (16,14, 8 so a bit older than yours) I went full time at the start of the year and I have to say I feel like I'm constantly sinking under all the stuff to do. Washing piles up til the weekend, house only ever gets the bare minimum cleaning and don't ask when I last washed everyone's sheets! If I could afford to go back to P/T I would. My 8 year old misses having me around more and I feel out of the loop as I'm never finished work in time to do the school pick up so she misses out a bit socially as I can't offer to host play dates etc.

Original poster

Remmy123 · 04/09/2022 10:02

@SugarMiceInTheRain oh god that does sound hard and putting me right off 😬

I forgot about play dates!

OP posts:

DisplayPurposesOnly · 04/09/2022 10:08

Your husband will have to be less lazy. Have the discussion now. Especially as he doesn't have a commute!

And your older kids are old enough to pitch in, eg, put on a load of washing, change their own beds, tidy up. The eldest can iron.

Having a cleaner will really help.

autienotnaughty · 04/09/2022 10:42

It would nly work if u n ur husband are a team. Also I can't see kids being there when ur working unless ur husband has finished. You would probably need after school club. We tried it when my ds was 3 and in nursery. It didn't work for us as dh couldn't cope with extra responsibility and I couldn't cope with most of house responsibility plus work. I work 10 hours a week now.

NancyJoan · 04/09/2022 10:46

Can your DH look at changing his hours so he can finish at 4/5? Finishing at 7 is late unless you don’t start until 10.

DelphiniumBlue · 04/09/2022 10:54

The only people I know with 3 +DC who worked fulltime had help at home - nanny or au pair plus cleaner. If the extra money you will earn won't cover that, I wouldn't bother, you'll be stressed and exhausted. Like another poster said, weekends will be completely chore based.

ReluctantCourier · 04/09/2022 10:59

We’ve got 3 (2, 6, 8) and both work FT but I’m only in the physical office 2 days a week, and we have a cleaner, and DH’s job (when he’s in the country) is extremely flexible. No family around tho so envying you that support!

I did go temporarily PT when the first one was in foundation tho, from Sept-Dec.

Original poster

Remmy123 · 04/09/2022 11:04

Thanks all

When I say 7pm that's me coming in from the commute x3 days a week but I'll be finishing work at 5.30pm daily.

ill put little one in breakfast and after school club.

my mum can come two afternoons to help so youngest won't need after school club and can be home

I'll defo get a cleaner

OP posts:

wanderlove · 04/09/2022 11:23

I have 3 and work full time. 2, 7 and 9. It worked best when I paid for a cleaner who came for 2 hours once a week and changed beds too. That felt like the perfect balance as I had weekends free for family. We are saving for house renovations so am doing it all myself and I do feel like I am drowning. However I am the sort of person that likes being busy and I have 3 little girls and I think it’s good for them to see me work and have an independent life. I’m a teacher so can never attend school events but need to worry about holiday childcare. Give yourself time to adjust, get a cleaner if you can, and remember if it’s not for you you can do it for a year or so and then rethink. The extra money would be great for this winter

cestlavielife · 04/09/2022 11:25

Remmy123 · 04/09/2022 09:33

Thanks all - to add my mum can come two afternoons to do primary school pick up.

plus the two days I will work from home obviously I will be there when kids come home from school. Even though I'll be v busy I'll be around.

Sounds fine.
Online shop. Dont iron.
Get cleaner

ReluctantCourier · 04/09/2022 11:46

Oh yeah defo online shopping! Plus mine have school dinners so I know if I’m stretched on nights they’ve got swimming/brownies they can just have an oven pizza or whatever and won’t keel over.

Try it at least- you can usually suggest to reduce hours a lot more easily than you can request an increase and you might get an understanding boss like mine whose happy for me to make up time in the evening if I want to do a school assembly or whatever.

TokenGinger · 04/09/2022 12:25

I think you'll be fine. The 14 year old is old enough to muck in, too. When I went to secondary school, I picked my younger brother up then came home and made us some sandwiches or beans on toast until mum got home. Or, she'd have cooked a stew/casserole the night before or something in the slow cooker we could eat for tea.

TalkedTooMuchStayedTooLong · 04/09/2022 15:15

I have older kids, DS is 17 and DTs are 14... I went back to work full time, or 0.96 FTE to be precise, when almost 3 years ago...I work term time only though, and have an early start, and a v short lunch break which means I leave early too which helps. Term time still feels like a slog ( I'm a single mum so everything is down to me) and there are many weeks I wish I had the option to go (more) part time but I can't afford to...

Lacdepassy · 04/09/2022 16:08

I went back full time when children were 14,12,9. It's been a full on job and I also run a small business too (approx 4-5 hrs pw)

I havent got a cleaner but have Gousto delivered on Sunday evenings. DH pulls his weight and finishes early to collect youngest from school. He also cleans/cooks/shops as needed. The house is usually presentable downstairs but upstairs is usually quite messy.

It's doable but I am knackered. I do worry that the children miss out but they do reassure me that they are OK.

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