Should I be grateful?

[Pittapatcat]

I have been given a bunch of red roses by DH. I don't like red roses and never have. We have been together a long time and this has always been my feelings.

It's our dd birthday and I've done all the party prep and present buying. This is an ongoing issue with us as he is crap at birthdays so it all falls to me.

So he turns up yesterday with a bunch of red roses saying thanks. I honestly feel like crying.

I would have LOVED a bunch of flowers. But roses do nothing for me. He gave them to me and said he knows I don't like roses but they are better than nothing.

I think there's a lot more going on than just being disappointed in roses. You sound very dissatisfied with how much weight DH is pulling.

It's a nice gesture, maybe think about how romantic it may have made him feel to get you roses? (Looking for silver lining)

You probably need a chat about responsibility sharing and romantic expectations.

I think all flowers are beautiful but I personally do not like to be given white Lilies in fact I really cannot have them near me ( personal choice ) so I totally understand you not wanting red roses near you.

He obviously doesn’t care about you and in my opinion you shouldn’t care about him but that’s your choice .

If he's bought flowers to say thank you that's a nice gesture. If he's bought you something you don't like because he couldn't be arsed to find something you did that's a bit rubbish.

If he was good at flowers he'd have made more effort for kids birthdays etc..... I will always love a bunch of flowers but because of the meaning. Roses are always rubbish but if he meant to try and please then that's what's matters.

He didn’t make a effort as OP hates red roses .

Why don’t you READ her Post??
OP does Not like RED ROSES .

END OF POST

He gave them to me and said he knows I don't like roses but they are better than nothing.

This bit stands out to me. I mean why bother in that case? I’m hard pressed to figure out where you can go that only sells roses, there’s always other flowers right? Or a box of chocolates, or something else you actually like. Why buy something because he wants to say thanks but you know, not really because he knows you’ll hate it?

Is it really only the birthdays that he’s crap at OP?

You shouldn't have to feel grateful when someone gives you something they know you don't want. If he really wanted to say thanks he could have offered to clean up after the party or cook dinner, give OP a break, not give her flowers she doesn't like.

He gave them to me and said he knows I don't like roses but they are better than nothing this is actually quite odd from him.

No, you don't have to be grateful someone bought you something they know you don't like.

It sounds like you need a serious chat about the work share.

@avamiah I read the post and obviously wasn't great. I just meant if he deliberately chose them to upset her then that's completely aweful! But if he bought them 'man brain' just thinking he was being nice then his heart is in the right place.
Just depends on how he felt.
There's loads of times I've given my partner a pizza with peppers on for example. I know he hates peppers but forgot and was only trying to be nice. Just a genuine mistake