Pre existing diagnosis of complex PTSD with OCD and depression .
Life has been very difficult and the last month especially has been very hard . I’m having funny ‘episodes’ where everything around me seems very unreal or as if I’m watching myself from a distance : when I speak sometimes I feel like I’m observing someone else as opposed to being grounded in me . Last night felt like I wasn’t me for a bit . It’s worse when I’m on my own with my own thoughts .
My GP is involved as is MH team, I’ve been told someone will ring me every night for the next month to check I’m OK and talk through things . Have been given a phone number for duty worker/crisis team too and told might get a CPN . Both GP and MH team have said they think it’s dissociation symptoms and whilst very frightening not inherently harmful . My GP said this morning she doesn’t think I’m heading for psychosis or something like that as said I have full insight in to what’s happening, said no warning signs that’s worrying her or making her think some sort of crisis is going to happen . She said a couple of times if it was psychosis/psychotic breakdown I wouldn’t be asking for help because I wouldn’t know I was unwell .
However the very fact that she’s mentioned psychosis has scared the shit out of me . I know you can get psychosis from traumatic events and pre existing mental health issues . I have a family history of somewhat severe mental health issues - no one with psychosis as far as I’m aware, but a huge history of severe depression and hospitalisations .
Is psychosis relatively rare? bit panicked that that’s what I’m heading for next . Anxiety’s rather latched onto the idea !!