Was your toddler a bolter? Please help me

[83DanishMum]

My son is 2 and 2 months. He's always been a total live wire. Even when he was only crawling and then once he could walk. Wherever you take him he wants to touch literally everything. Even in a safe space like a soft play he will go round and play with everything then start playing with the doors, the fire extinguisher, the light switches, other peoples bags and so on. I adore him obviously but it's exhausting looking after him. I see other toddlers sitting playing nicely with their mummies and I'm envious!

When going out I take the buggy and he also has a little backpack with a lead. We live in a city and without that on there is no way I could let him run about freely as he would just run into the road.

He gets so frustrated as he dearly wants to run freely everywhere which I completely get. I try to find spaces where I can let him run freely but it's not that easy. Even in the park he will bolt to to road and I have to run after him. At soft play he gets bored and finds the exit and bolts out trying to run around the outside area.

There's a public garden near us which is nice and safe for him to run in but he's become bored as we go there so often that now he just runs straight back out the gate and wants to go home. He will get really upset if I try to get him to walk in there.

He's so easily frustrated if he can't do exactly what he wants, eg play with closing an iron gate where I worry he will get his fingers trapped, or run towards the car park. I am quite good at managing tantrums but I don't like to see him so upset all the time, and besides it's exhausting.

I take him on nature walks in new areas as often as possible but it's not do-able everyday. If I need to pop to the shop or something I can't let him out of his buggy as he would just grab everything in the shop! If I go to a playground he just wants to escape out of the gate.

We only have a tiny balcony garden so not much space. I try to vary and set up toys differently at home but he's so bored of all his toys. I was thinking of using a toy library to try and refresh them.

We tried Sunday toddler football but he kept running off to the other edge of the park!

He's at nursery 4 mornings and so it's the afternoons I need to fill. I have resorted to tv for longer than I would like as I feel exhausted

Has anyone ever had a bolter like my son? How do you keep him engaged? Please help! 🙏

Yes DS was a bolter/touch everything kid.

Honestly reins, especially in busy places and by roads.

People don't like them, tut, judge but at the end of the day it's that or the unimaginable possibly.

We got one that looked like a little backpack and had a lead on it. I would slip the strap round my wrist and he would just toddle about. He then discovered how to unclip the breast clip and run free from it, so we switched to wrist to wrist type of rein, that worked better as I could stop him fiddling with it.

The touching thing, I just sorta distracted him if I had to be somewhere and if not just let him touch and explore. Trips would take twice as long and patience was needed in buckets and spades. 😂

Good luck OP, you have my sympathy and support.

My friend's ds was a houdini as well as a bolter. They were in my garden once, and I watched him take a plastic garden chair, drag it to the bottom of the garden by the 6 foot fence, climb on it and unto the bolt at the top of the gate. He was a nightmare. One day he climbed out of the kitchen window when my friend was in the shower. Someone found him hundreds of yards away up the road and brought him back. Good job they lived in a quiet village.

So I'd be watching that sort of thing as well OP.

Our ds was like this both bolting and touching stuff, we managed to lose him in LEGOLAND with 4 adults all watching only 1 child you have my full sympathies as it is so draining as I couldn’t leave him in a room without my eyes fully on him for a second until he was school age. He wouldn’t ever wear reigns either, he would sit down on the ground and refuse to move. He was truly exhausting. He is 10 and still can be a bit of a nightmare in car parks however he has been diagnosed with ADHD. Still loves running around but at least we have been able to redirect him with sport plus he is old enough to wear a phone in a running belt so at least he is easy to find when we lose him!

I had a bolter (he’s now nearly 8) and for unknown reasons I didn’t use reins. I also regret not trying bribery - I mean it - in terms of ‘if you hold mummy’s hand nicely until the end, we’ll go and eg. feed the ducks. ‘. It is a phase and it will pass. Mine was hard to get engaged in things but once he was, he would be quiet with it for 30/40 mins. Mine liked play doh, crazy sand, making crafty things etc.

Thanks all. To clarify my original post, we do use reigns. It's the one shaped like a little backpack. He is actually fine about wearing that thank goodness, as he knows it means he gets to walk. Whenever he's in the buggy he's saying "walk walk"!

I will just keep going and trying my best I guess! It's good to know others have experienced this. I do feel I'm the only one sometimes!

I drove past a friend from a baby group the other day walking along the street in the city with her DD (same age as my son) walking along just holding her hand. They were strolling along together and it looked lovely and chilled!! I just thought, wow, my friend has no idea how lucky she is!!