Leaving baby in room to nap - what age?

[McOrange]

Hi,

I’ve got a one month old who usually sleeps in a next to me crib but once / twice a day I’ve been putting her for a nap in her big cot in her nursery. So far, I’ve been staying in the room with her and browsing MN / eating my lunch etc or flitting in and out to sort laundry and tidy her room etc but I’d like to start using this time to do things like cooking / working out.

I know they’re meant to stay with you at all times sleeping until 6 months but it would be much easier to do those things with her in her cot rather than being in a pram / Moses basket etc with me. Just wondering what others did and when you started leaving them for naps a bit more? I think one month old is too little but probably comfortable with three months…

She was born full term, big baby, EBF

I didn’t leave DD to nap alone until she was well over 6 months. If she slept, I slept.

I didn’t really do chores though other than laundry-I delegated it all to DH. I did baby, he did house.

@Rutland2022 my dh works 13 hour days. Not exactly possible for everyone to just sit holding a baby for hours a day, also did you really just sleep every time your baby fell asleep? Did you never got out or anything ?!

I was out all the time, rarely at home (until lockdown). If I was out she napped in the car, the pram, in the sling. I wasn’t a slave to routine but if she napped at home so
did I. DD was EBF and my only “job” was her and I had to do every feed as we didn’t use any bottles.

I do have a horse so she was at the stables a lot of the day or we were at baby groups, activities or walks etc. I didn’t spend maternity leave doing housework, life is far too short for that.

My DH also did long days, he was field based and was out 6am-6pm. He still did all the housework and cooking. Men won’t collapse in a heap if they have to do something other than their job.

I did laundry as I don’t mind it, I used to find that easy to fit in around DD though.

@Blueeyedgirl21 I spent most of my days just going with all the contact naps and cuddles until I got a sling.
Some things I couldn't do with the sling on but then I just embraced not having a perfect house for a few months.
It used to annoy me but then I just went with it cause they don't want the cuddles forever.
I know every baby is different though, so if my DD had wanted to be put down then I would have done that and just done bits and pieces while she slept in the room

What an odd assertion!

Our kitchen is quite small and I wouldn’t want her to be subject to the smell of frying onions / chilli etc, it makes DH sneeze enough let alone my previous newborn! It’s not the noise of a workout but more mentally switching off which I wouldn’t do as much if I could see her there.

of course, a life without curries and intense workouts is fine for now and certainly not a dealbreaker but just an example of why I’d like to have an hour or two to myself!

Why do people say this?

What magical powers do monitors have that stop babies dying from SIDS?

If a baby stops breathing it’s going to do it whether a monitor is there or not.

Anyway OP,

With my first baby I didn’t leave him sleeping alone until he was about 7 months old and with my second son it was slightly earlier.

A previous poster mentioned leaving the baby sleeping in it’s bouncer (unsupervised) but please don’t do this.

As with all parenting choices, we all weigh up the risks and make our choices.

I do recall someone saying to me once that they had read some research that stated SIDS is most common in babies aged 3-4 months, not when they are newborns as most assume, although I’m not sure how reliable her information was.

There is zero evidence that alarms and sleep mats prevent SIDS. It's clever marketing to extract money from anxious parents.

Oh yes I did pop in and out the room but on the whole I was in the same room. Also she was quite a cat napper so didn't really ever sleep for long!

On a slightly separate note, the thinking behind not leaning them to sleep until 6 months is that they regulate their breathing to yours. How does this happen if the baby is in a pram being walked outside? Esp if they have a rain cover or similar on?

From birth.

In reality they don’t know what causes Sid’s but by far the biggest thing which has reduced it is the back to sleep campaign.

Sids is a fluke. It’s hideous but if it happens there is absolutely no way of knowing why it happened.

We need to stop guilting parents on the basis that “what if your baby died from SIDS”, and accept that while there are some real factors which need to be taken into account such as smoking etc, if a baby dies from Sids nowhere is it ever said that “he/she died because he/she was put in his cot for a nap/slept on his front/didn’t bf.”

As a general rule when a baby dies from Sid’s the pm is inconclusive.

I know someone whose baby died while in the same room as them. Equally there is a mumsnetter years ago whose 2 year old died from SIDS.

Nobody knows when or why it happens.

I read the baby whisperer and started the day they came home from hospital. Never had any problems.

How does this happen if the baby is in a pram being walked outside? Esp if they have a rain cover or similar on?

Well, exactly. Or if you're at the other end of the room.

There are many different recommendations of things to do/not to do in order to reduce the SIDS risk, for example, don't smoke in the house, place the baby on their back to sleep, breastfeed, stay in the same room for all sleep, use a new mattress for a new baby, etc, etc. The reality is that parents will weigh up the small risk, use their common sense and follow some of the recommendations, but not necessarily all of them, at all times. Does everyone EBF, for example? No of course, they don't, and that's fine. Equally, it's fine for you to decide that the risk of leaving your full term, EBF baby in the cot for short periods while they nap is extremely low. Just because one way of doing things is statistically very slightly less safe than another, doesn't mean it isn't safe generally. Like traveling on a plane or a train. They're both safe options, even though one is slightly safer than another, statistically speaking.

There is zero evidence that alarms and sleep mats prevent SIDS. It's clever marketing to extract money from anxious parents.

Is this because they're too late in alerting parents?

What about all those babies left to nap in the garden every afternoon?

I think this is something oft repeated but actually it's not clear why being in the same room does reduce risks. It isn't proven, as far as I'm aware, that it's about breathing regulation.

When I read threads like this I feel so old, even though mine are only 12 and 14, there was no advice to not leave babies alone when napping then so I did, God knows when I would ever have got anything done or had any time to myself otherwise, I would have gone mad! I followed all the rules I had to the letter so I now feel like the older people I gaped at when they said their child had slept in their own room before 6 months/ started weaning before 6 months etc.

We waited until she was six months (corrected), but to be honest she is very good with naps, so she is happy to sleep on us, but also very happy to sleep in her cot, on a mat etc. If I was cooking she would just be either in her sling or on a mat on the floor, with a workout she’d be on a mat on the floor or in a moses basket.

It’s basically because our respiratory organs are triggered to function by the build up of carbon dioxide within our blood. When the levels get too high it triggers the lungs to breathe in so oxygen can get into our body.

When an adult is in a room and breathing they are obviously exhaling carbon dioxide which the baby then breathes in which in turn triggers their lungs to function correctly. The increased level of carbon dioxide the baby inhales is obviously higher the closer they are to the adult, for example if they are sleeping on their parent’s chest.

Obviously if a baby is all alone in a room they are inhaling less carbon dioxide than if they were in close constant with another human, so it is thought the respiratory organs aren’t as strongly triggered to function normally.

Newborn babies, and young infants, have very erratic breathing patterns whilst their brain and respiratory system work out how to function together in response to increasing carbon dioxide levels in the blood and as we know, infants have very immature respiratory systems so they can depend on external stimuli to encourage them to function normally.

This is how it was explained to me anyway when I questioned my HV about it many years ago but I do not know how true or accurate it is. She may have been giving me the information in layman’s terms because it all started getting quite confusing 😁

6 months. you already know this you wrote it in the op

5-6 months for me. Even then it was only 30 minute naps. Little devil was a cat napper!

This is pretty much what I’ve heard but I’m confused as to why walking in a pram is fine - presumably the air you’re breathing just gets washed away in the fresh air or if there is a rain cover over the pram the baby still only breathes in their own recycled breath and fresh air, none of that of the parent

Perhaps the thinking is that the baby will only ever be in the pram for an hour or two in quite light sleep as being moved around so much so not such a worry as a full night time sleep

It will definitely be related to the fact that the movement and noise of going for a walk prevents the babies from getting into a very deep sleep.

It’s a completely different scenario to them being left alone in an empty and quiet room.

I used to put mine in their own room from the start. I just kept popping in to check. I think they are much more styled without all the noises fro the house and it's a good habit to start sleeping in their own room but lots will disagree and enjoy being glued to their baby till 5 years old