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Original poster

Do you let your Year 6 child walk home to an empty house after school?

51 replies

Fantina · 30/08/2022 17:13

DD is going into Year 6 and desperately doesn’t want to continue going to after school club. DS is going into Year 8 and already comes home from school and let’s himself in but he didn’t start until Year 7.

Would you let DD walk home to him? It’s a safe walk but she’d be on her own with him for around 1.5hours until I get back. They mostly get on but not always but they would then probably just phone me on my mobile at work to complain about each other rather than be unsafe. DH commutes and wouldn’t be reachable so it would be me dashing back if there’s any issues. I do leave them together now if I need to do the supermarket shop for example.

OP posts:
LionessesRules · 30/08/2022 18:24

It wasnt every night here, but yes.
The Y6 was home first tho. We started with only the nights DH wasn't wfh, and his older brother didn't have after school clubs. Then moved to nights with after-school for the oldest whe I didn't have to collect from secondary, so was home for 4.30. We did try it one evening when I needed to collect and noone was home til 5.15, and he ran to see us when we walked through the door, so think 2hrs was a bit too long.

How about a compromise initially? Stop after-school on a Mon and Fri. Then you can add in Wednesdays if it's working. Then the other 2 if still ok after Christmas?

MinervaTerrathorn · 30/08/2022 18:27

Ds started from the start of year 5, no siblings

MinervaTerrathorn · 30/08/2022 18:29

DS got the bus that took a while so wasn't alone for the full hour and a half after school finished at 3pm.

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BogRollBOGOF · 30/08/2022 18:36

My y5 is about to start coming home by himself while I do secondary pick-up. He won't be on his own longer than 15-20 mins, and it's a short, safe walk.

My y7 has been happy by himself in the house for a while, but I've only been leaving him while I'm local. Usually it's been up to a couple of hours and I check that he's well fed first as there's little chance of him realising he's hungry to consider going to the kitchen to burn the house down. My main concern is him neglecting his needs over prolonged periods rather than doing something dangerous.

It very much depends on the children and things like accessibility, but you clearly don't have a "no way" instinct. The threat of having to reinstate ASC is a good motivator to behave sensibly.

reluctantbrit · 30/08/2022 19:02

Yes I would. DD was home after school, theoretically DH was in but working in a way (conference calls/online workshops, so other people paid for him being there for them) that she wasn't allowed to disturb him unless it was a life or death situation. It never happened.

When Summer term came she also was fully alone when DH was on business trips.

She is a July born, so quite young but we trained her during Y5 and found her reliable and responsible.

Afterfire · 30/08/2022 20:07

With the older sibling there I think that’s fine. Just set ground rules for them both and make sure they understand the importance of following them.

On their own… nope.

pointythings · 30/08/2022 20:21

Yes, I did. DD1 was at secondary very nearby. They'd both be home by about 4, DH would get home for 4.30. No big deal.

Musicalmaestro · 31/08/2022 07:03

Year 6 is fine for this. Mine had little jobs to do as well eg vacuum the living room.
We had a rule about not answering the door at that age.

MrsWombat · 31/08/2022 07:48

You could always trial it for one day a week for the first half term and see how that goes?

mdh2020 · 31/08/2022 08:09

Many years ago my DC aged 10 and 7 always walked home and let themselves in. I was home within half an hour. It was the only way I could manage to get a university education. I realise that now I would be reported to Social Services. The one rule we had was that they should never accept a lift, even from anyone they knew. This was inviolable and friends would phone to tell me that they had offered and been refused.

Sswhinesthebest · 31/08/2022 08:10

one yes, one no. Depends on their personality and how well they get on.

popandchoc · 31/08/2022 08:11

If there was an older sibling I would do it . My eldest is just going into year 7 and will be coming home to an empty house 2 days a week .

Smilingwithfangs · 31/08/2022 08:14

I’d be wary to be honest

What if elder sibling had a club or meets a friend or does a school play etc? Can you still tap into after school club ad hoc if you need it?

how long is the walk? Is elder brother a coper if she has an issue on the walk home eg someone upsets her or she falls etc.

Lacdepassy · 31/08/2022 08:30

I'm going to be doing this from next week. My child is nearly 11 and going into year 6. School is 30 mins walk away with quite a lot of crossings but I have spent the last couple of years walking back with him and he's going to be with a couple of friends.

Sibling is slightly older though.

Oblomov22 · 31/08/2022 09:12

Yes. Our school encourages it for preparation for secondary.

MrsLargeEmbodied · 31/08/2022 09:14

year 7
and they just loved it
felt so grown up

Slopey · 31/08/2022 09:24

I didn't, but in your scenario I think it sounds fine. For us it's mainly can they be trusted to make safe decisions in a crisis, such as judging when to phone you and when it's serious enough that they just get out. Also having the confidence to knock on the neighbour's door. My DCs' judgement came on leaps and bounds with this kind of thing over Y6.

autienotnaughty · 31/08/2022 09:25

I did when dd1 was y8 and dd2 was y6, they walked or bused back together were home for 4pm I got back at 5pm

girlmom21 · 31/08/2022 09:30

I think it completely depends on the individual child but if you're happy leaving them when you do the food shop etc I see no issue. Just tell her to text you when she's home and make sure she always answers her phone if you call. If ever she doesn't answer or text she'll go back to after school club.

TheTurn0fTheScrew · 31/08/2022 09:38

How does the year 8 feel about having to stay home for the year 6? I try to avoid having to have my older one wait for the younger one as I'd rather the elder one had the flexibility to go to the park or round a mate's house if she preferred.

I'd also not start such an arrangement without a couple of weeks of the Y6 kid coming home to an adult, so I could be reassured that they were getting themselves home on time and keeping keys safe - your y8 kid might not be super-diligent at checking or following up if the younger one is late.

dormouses · 31/08/2022 10:48

@mdh2020

I realise that now I would be reported to Social Services

Why do you thinks this? Most people on this thread have said they would or do leave their primary age DC for a short while.

Jules912 · 31/08/2022 11:06

My DS is the same age and would be happy with the walk but doesn't want to be left alone, so decided to keep going to the childminder ( he has no older siblings though). However I see no issue if your DD is happy with it.

DrMadelineMaxwell · 31/08/2022 11:12

Dd1 yes. But only part way through y6 when she complained it was embarrassing having to walk home with the childminder. Dh has always home 1.5hr after her and she was super sensible.

Dd2 yes. From y5 actually in the summer term via necessity as I was having an op which meant i was in the house there but unable to drive for 6 weeks so couldnt collect from the childminders. She then continued doing that in y6 when I was back at work.

MissAtomicBomb1 · 31/08/2022 13:39

Iamnotthe1 · 30/08/2022 17:45

The walk is fine as is letting herself in. However, I'd question a 12 and 10 year old being left home for an hour and a half every day.

Genuine question...What are the childcare options for a 12 year old?
None of the local after school clubs take them at that age, presumably because there isn't demand? DS will have to let himself in a couple of times a week when he reaches Y7 as we will both be at work.

reluctantbrit · 31/08/2022 19:52

MissAtomicBomb1 · 31/08/2022 13:39

Genuine question...What are the childcare options for a 12 year old?
None of the local after school clubs take them at that age, presumably because there isn't demand? DS will have to let himself in a couple of times a week when he reaches Y7 as we will both be at work.

Show quote history

There is nothing and to be honest, the average 11/12 year old should be able to be at home for 1 1/2 hours each day without causing issues.

Some secondary schools have the library open for another hour or there are some clubs but they are obviously never 100% on.

We taught DD from 9/10 year old onwards, obviously small periods and always locally but bit by bit we lengthened the time and talked long about what she can and can't do and where to go for help.

It's all part of parenting to ensure a preteen is learning independence.